Hello! I'm here to bring this out of the green room for ya
My first thought after reading this through is - intriguing. You bring up a lot of intriguing ideas in this piece. I really liked the imagery you brought up and your use of language to convey the tone.
Two things - if this is just a stream of thought that you wanted to put in the universe, awesome. But, I also don't want you to waste your points, so if you just want to put your thoughts out there for people to think about with you, you can share on your wall or in one of the forums and then not have to spend your points. If this is a stream of thought that you wanted to get feedback/critique on, my first suggestion is to break it up a little more.
Whenever something is in one big piece text, it can be off-putting to possible readers. You also have a few different ideas happening within this paragraph, and when they're all together in the same paragraph it can be a little hard to follow. First we're talking about how difficult our trials and tribulations are, then music, then self doubt. Each of these things are super interesting to ponder on, but at least for me, there wasn't enough time to ponder each of them before we're off to the next topic. I would like to see a little more development with each of those ideas.
Overall though, it's an intriguing little piece of your thoughts! Let me know if you have any questions or if there's something you'd like feedback on that I didn't mention
Points: 32055
Reviews: 1162
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