A Smile's Worth a Thousand Words (Part 2)

Senior year: weighing in at one hundred and thirty pounds (not so easily might I add),  bra size 38D (with a little extra help) and long bleached hair; I was the most popular girl of my class. My life had become something out of a dream, a life most girls my age could only hope for. I had to best friends; Elena and Mariah, and the hottest guy from our school as my boyfriend. However, I felt like something was missing; kind of like a piece of me had sprung wings and flew away. It wasn't until that fall that I realized what it was. What, for the past six years, felt like only a dream.

There's something I didn't say before; about friendship. Maybe it's because I was afraid to, or because I didn't want to admit it to myself. But here I go; friendship hurts. When it comes out of hibernation, I defrosts you body; and it hurts, like running cold hands under hot water after playing in the snow hurt. That's why I feel it appropriate that that pain came to me at the Senior winter ball; a day that should have been mine but became something so much more. That day, I felt something melt inside of me and afterwards I felt warm, full.

That Saturday started off like any other Saturday. Elena, Mariah and I hung out at the mall for a few hours; we shopped, flirted with guys and had our weekend splurge of frozen yogurt. Afterwards, we piled in Mariah's rusty old pick up that she got from her grandfather and headed over to Elena's to get ready.

"OMG! Sam's just going to love this strapless dress tonight," Elena squealed as she held it against her chest and twirled.

"Geez girl, take a chill pill," laughed Mariah as she placed a well manicured hand over Elena's mouth.

I laughed myself as I pulled my own dress over my shoulders. It cost a whopping three hundred dollars (three day's of work from my mom) however each silky black, glittery inch was worth it. As I wiggled my way into the off the shoulder number, I sucked in a deep breath, afraid that I had gained to much weight. Once I had it on and zipped I let out all my air and turned to look in Elena's door-length mirror and let out a sigh. I knew I looked sexy, but it wasn't until I saw the looks on my friends faces until I believed it.  

"Damn Rebekah," they said in union coming over to stand by my side.

"Do you like it?" I asked nervously running my hands along my thigh.

"Like it? Girl, you look sexy. I love it!" Elena replied, walking around me, checking me out.

"She's right, you'll be the prettiest one to night."

I hugged the girls, little pinpricks of tears sprung to the corners of my eyes. I guess I was lucky I was blessed with a great body, but something still ate at my stomach.

Couple hours later, I stood in the middle of the dance floor; peers all around me complementing me and trying to suck up. Sometimes I felt like other's only said nice things to me in hopes that I would befriend them and eventually rub off a little of my 'popularity' on to them. Through out my high school years, I never felt like I truly belonged; it was my body who walked down those halls and sat at that lunch table but it was as if someone else was the one inside that skin.

At around ten Elena, Mariah and I had started to make our way towards the refreshments. All of us were starving from three hours of dancing and chatting, and the oatmeal cookies kept calling my name. Once each of us had a plate of food, we picked our way through the crowd and to a small table at the edge of the gym. It was then that I saw her, across the mass hoard of dancing bodies, she stood quietly in the opposite corner with her older brother who offered to take his little sister to a high school dance. She looked so happy to be here, even if it was with Colton; later that night she told me that when her brother offered she had felt guilty for taking away his Saturday night and that she didn't even want to come. Anyways, after my friends and I had our fill of junk we decided to try and find Elena's boyfriend.

Sam was hanging out with a group of his friends five feet from where Kaylenn stood, and as we made our way to them I felt a pain of regret for ignoring her. Another hour passed with us talking and getting our fill of dancing; during the last song before the administration staff crowned the winter princess Sam's accidently took one step to far back and knocked into Kaylenn, sending both tumbling to the ground.

"What the hell!" Sam yelled pushing himself off the floor; he turned around and looked at Kaylenn where she still sat amongst manicured, heeled feet and rental dress shoes. "Watch where you're walking dumbass, you might infect someone with your dumbness," with that, Sam walked away friends in tow, all of them laughing hysterically.

The only thing I could do was stand there and look between my old friend and the friends that I had come to know. Debating with myself on what I should do. However, my ego got the best of me and with one last glance down at Kaylenn I walked away to, again.

Five minutes later I stood on stage, tiara on my head, every eye turned in my direction and a microphone in front of my face. It wasn't anything that I was shocked about, being the princess, I had saw it coming. But what I did next did shock me, and I'm pretty sure it shocked every one around me as well.

"I want to give this title up," I told the vice principle as I turned around to face her.

"What, are you sure?"

"Yes. I don't deserve this, but I know someone who does and if you'll let me then I would love to give it to her." I looked at the crowd of students who had elected me their princess and I saw my two friends watching me, longing in both of their eyes.

"Well dear if that is what you want then go ahead"

"Thank you," I said with as much confidence as I could muster. I looked back at the crowd of students and I as I looked at Kaylenn standing next to her brother, both so out of place, I felt like I was back in that cafeteria the day I decided Kaylenn wasn't good enough for me. And as I called her up on stage and placed the tiara on her head, I felt like I was12 years old again wearing my Hanna Montana Forever shirt, my favorite stretch pants and lugging around my I-Carly backpack; standing up to the Jacqueline inside of me.

"Why are you doing this?" She asked me, in that old, comfortable slow way of hers. "I thought you didn't want to be my friend.

"I was wrong, and I'm sorry. I lost sight of what really mattered to me on my way to fame. I hope someday you could forgive me." I looked at Kaylenn, and she looked beautiful standing in front of myself and the entire senior class wearing a green, halter top, chiffon dress.

"I already have."

I looked at Kaylenn and she looked back at me a smile already on her face, and I could feel the beginning of smile tug at the corners of my lips. And as I watched her take the center of the floor for her 'royal' dance with her brother I couldn't help but let the tears fall down my face, when she left her brother to ask for a dance with me I smiled so big I felt like my cheeks were going to rip open. I had a friend again, someone who I knew loved me for me and someone who never gave up on us.

In the end; I have to come to realize that not only did I loose a person that cared about me, (for six years) I also robbed both of us from an amazing relationship that could have lasted a lifetime. Even though we talk now, I know we wont go back to the way things were before. We will never be 'those two girls' who would sit in one of our bedrooms and laugh at the Simpsons while eating stove top popcorn. There will never be another night where one of us holds the other in our arms while we cry together. We wont ever be able to experience breakups or new relationships together the way we should have. And I can't take back those six years of making fun of her behind her back, but secretly regretting it. I can't take back leaving her to sit alone at lunch in our middle school cafeteria. But I can start a new future; with a little time, sunlight and some water I can plant the seed that stored itself inside me and eventually grow a forest. If I have to build a bridge, brick by brick, to reach that spot of serenity again, I will.

Thanks to Kaylenn's kindness, and acceptance of the person I have become, I can feel that piece of me that flew away mend it's self back together. Because of her, I'm starting to feel whole again, and because of her I learned my most valuable life lesson. If by chance she ever reads this, then I want her to know how much she has meant to me, how much she has changed my life with out either of us realizing it.

Friendship has this way of burrowing into your skin, planting itself and then feeding off of you as it continues to grow. Even when you think that it has died and left, it's still there; just gone dormant for the winter....

"Maybe redemption has stories to tell  Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell. Where can you run to escape from yourself? Where you gonna go? ...I dare you to move I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor."--Switchfoot/ Dare you to move

A/N: That's the end of this story. Sorry bout the little language I just didn't think it was bad enough to slap a rating. I hope you enjoyed the read. --Myjaspercat