warning: this may trigger some individuals. please do not read this if you know that reading about eating disorders is a trigger.
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140,085 Literary Works • 672,996 Reviews
Hello hello!
Hope you're doing well ^^ I'm here to review this poem of yours as you requested a while ago. I'm really sorry for the delay! I just got back into reviewing and I hope to keep it up xD
I feel like your choice of leaving out all the punctuation and capitalization really works well here, because if I were to see all this with punctuation and all that, it wouldn't read as softly, ya get? I stand with your decision here, it suits the poem really well! <3 The structure is also very neat - there aren't any lines that are longer than others, which makes it so much easier to read than if there were wonky sized lines, y'know? Plus the stanzas are nice and even and just agh it's neat and I love it <3
Now onto the poem itself! I feel like the poem did a great job of conveying it's message. It's showing that other people don't always notice that fact that their friend could be going through a tough time, and that saying things like "just eat," or - if we're talking about general tough times, then - "don't be sad," aren't going to help in any sort of way. Another thing I noticed was that the poem didn't react badly to what the friends were saying. Like, it didn't turn out to be a rant, it was more explanatory than anything else, y'know what I mean? Explaining that it's not just that eating isn't possible, it's more like, the body isn't accepting it. That's mainly what I got from the poem, but if there's a something else behind this, please do tell! :)
My favorite part of reviewing poetry is sharing my favorite line/stanza, so here we go!:
ack this feels deep <3 I imagine this stanza in different scenes like in a short film. Shot one: at the dining table, not eating, parents chatting. Shot two: at the doctor's office, the doctor with a clipboard in their hand, mother nodding. Shot three: in front of the mirror, testing out different clothes. Ah this is a bittersweet stanza ;-; And the last line too, good gosh, a small waist and a pretty face <33
One quick nitpick and I'll wrap up the review!
Admittedly, I read this poem over and over again (because of the flow, not not-being-able-to-understand-it, don't worry ^^") and then at one point, I noticed that the last line in this stanza actually reads as the need for food not there and not the need for food isn't there. What's there now feels a bit off, if y'know? Maybe try reading it aloud and see what I mean? It's like a word is missing >.> the need for food no longer there could work too. But that's a me-thing! You could think this is perfectly fine the way it is, and that's totally cool! Just thought I'd mention it anyway :)
That's it for my review! Hope this helped somehow and that you're doing much better <3 Lemme know if you have any questions about this ^^
Wishing you a singing, dancing good time <3
~Lib
thank you so much!
Your welcome!! <3
Hi! Hannah here for a quick review. First off, I think you approached such a serious subject matter really well. It seems like you put a lot of thought into this, and I like that! Secondly, I think it helped people be able to relate to others with an eating disorder. I think you described it really well. Also, it had a really good structure and your writing wasn't all over the place and messy. It was really neat. I hope to hear more from you! Have a good day! Merry Christmas, and keep writing.
Hannah
thanks for the review!
your welcome!
Hi there, I'm Green and I'm here for a quick review.
You must forgive me, but I haven't reviewed poetry in a while so this might be a bit of a shaky review.
Firstly, I thought that you approached a rather sensitive subject matter beautifully. I can really tell that you put your own thoughts and emotions and experiences into it which makes the poem feel really personal, which I love. As someone who has experienced issues with my body and food for my whole life, I felt myself really relating to the poem.
Secondly, I thought that the form and structure of the poem was great. You set it out in nine stanzas of four line, which makes the poem seem neat and regular and rational, which nicely compares and contrasts to the experience of having any mental illness. I also loved how 7/9 of the first lines of each stanza ended in "eat" to really push that feeling of experiencing something like an eating disorder, since you are constantly thinking about how you can't eat, and why you shouldn't eat, etc.
Thirdly, the imagery you built up of this life was tragic and beautiful. Beautiful in that I could vividly see the story happening as I read each line, and tragic because it's such a sad topic to read about and it brought out these emotions within me. You also captured how society can view someone with an eating disorder and how they react very nicely,
Overall, this was a superb poem and you clearly have a talent for poetry. I honestly don't have any criticisms as I think it is perfect as it is.
I hope you are doing better, and I wish you all the best <3
Keep writing!
-4revgreen
thank you so much for the positive review! i am doing much better and i%u2019m glad you liked it!!!
no problem, and that's great that you're doing better!
This was really beautiful and I really appreciate you challenging the ideas that many people have of what's healthy and what's not and the way our society often views eating disorders.
I really, really hope you're doing okay (I know you said you were better in a comment, but sending love and support <3). As someone who personally has never experienced this, I can't really relate, but I do find it helpful as I can gain a bit of insight into what you and other people with eating disorders have struggled with, which I think is important. Although this is probably just a glimpse of what you must have had to overcome, I really appreciate you sharing this view.
The last stanza was my favorite (idk if it can really be a favorite as it was pretty dark?) because you really brutally pointed out how society views beauty - "because that's what matters, a small waist and a pretty face." You got right down to the root of the issue, which is us (I don't mean you or me personally, but us as a society having these views).
Overall, fantastic job. I really enjoyed this insight, and again, I hope you're doing well <3
thank you so much!!! i%u2019m glad you liked it so much. i am doing much better than i was, and thanks for all the love <33
Wow, this is, wow. It really moved me! I connected with it because I get made fun of for being skinny.( I don't have anorexia.) I hope you are well:)
Praying.
thank you!!! i no longer have an eating disorder, thank goodness.
Oh good!!