hey
i miss you
and you know that
or at least i hope you do
~~~
hello
you look handsome
just like you almost always do
but that face isn’t one that i can kiss
~~~
i wave
you wave back
it doesn’t mean anything
not the way it used to mean
~~~
your eyes
they don’t light up
the way that they used to
when i walked into the crowded room
~~~
we hug
but not how
we used to stand there
smiling warmly in each other’s arms
~~~
i know
that you don’t
miss me the way
that i will eternally miss you
~~~
my love
my heart beats
always and forever for you
but yours might as well not beat at all
~~~
when?
when will i be yours
again like it should be?
when will you be my one, my only?
~~~
hey
i miss you
and i love you
always and forever
and that’s a promise that won’t be broken this time...
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Canary word: Present
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,775 Reviews
This poem is sad and beautiful. It sounds like a song - was this written for music?
no, i did not write this for music. i don%u2019t know how to play any instruments, but if i did i would definitely try to make this into a song!
This is honestly a great poem, I can feel the emotion you're conveying, well done
The only part I had trouble with was the 5th stanza
"We hug /but not how /we used to stand there/ smiling warmly in each other's arms"
I'm not 100% sure what you're trying to say here
The last line's really interesting I think - it makes me want to know more about what's going on.
I think you've done really well at showing all the different feelings/emotions you're trying to convey, so well done
thanks for writing
thank you for the review! with the fifth stanza, i was trying to explain how the way we hug isn%u2019t the same as it was while we were together. i can get how it is confusing though! i%u2019m glad that the last line made you feel that way, that was my whole goal. thank you so much!
thanks for replying, and thanks for explaining the fifth stanza! Honestly your poem's really great, thanks for sharing it!
Hi!
This poem is heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. How
My review:-
Your poem bought back all the memories of my old friends who are still in contact but are not the same and the things we do now just don't feel the same as before.
I think in the above, it is a nice stanza. But you could remove "almost" from the stanza as it kinda reduces the effect of the line.
I think you meant "the" instead of they :p
Anyway, those were only minor critiques.
Overall, I think you nailed it. I think everybody would have a person wich this would apply to:/
Thanks!
thanks for the review!
This was sad. I liked the parts about the depression and sadness more than the parts about the love affair. Good poetry. Thank you for posting.
thank you!