reminiscing on you - a compilation of poems

what makes me think of you

my friends tell me it’s been too long

and that i should go ahead

but i don’t want to leave without you

so i lie here in bed

~~~

as i stare up to the ceiling

i imagine you by my side,

with your arm around my shoulders

my tears are never dried

~~~
i want to lay my head on your chest

and let my worries go

but i’m afraid you are long gone

and so it begins to snow

~~~
i sing softly to myself

the song to we used to play

it says it over and over

the word you used to say

~~~
”beautiful, beautiful, beautiful”

echos in my head

i still hear it with your voice

but my heart you ripped to shreds

~~~
everything makes me think of you

from the music to the sky

i have to keep telling myself,

“he really wasn’t that great of a guy”

~~~
but as much i as long to

and as much as i care

i can’t love you

i’m leaving this time, i swear

...

i don’t want to love him

the butterflies still fill my stomach

whenever i see his name

i don’t want to love him

i feel so much shame

~~~
my cheeks still flush

to the the darkest shade of red

i don’t want to care for him

still these tears i shed

~~~
his smile still makes me smile

but i don’t think it should

i don’t want to think about him

nobody can make me happy like you could

~~~
i stare longingly

at his bright blue eyes

i don’t want to despise him

but he is surrounded by lies

~~~
my palms get sweaty

and my hands get shaky

i don’t want to leave him

i let the memories get grainy

~~~
however much i miss him

and however much i care

i don’t want to love him

i don’t even want to share the same air

...

the pictures that haunt my mind

they haunt my mind like ghosts

roaming the lonely halls

of a forgotten old mansion

that used to be filled with grandeur and balls

~~~

the pictures that ruined my life

and made me a goddess

i hate them more than anything

if i’m being honest

~~~
i know people remember them

and i know they always will

it wasn’t something i’d do again

the aftermath wasn’t worth the thrill

~~~
and so they still haunt me

sneaking into my dreams

they turn my sleep into nightmares

i’d rather stay awake, by all means

...

because i know better now

because i’m not enough

you suddenly left

thanks to you

i was always stressed

~~~
because you weren’t ready

we parted ways

day and night blur together

the months pass in a daze

~~~
because i apparently lied

you might as well stab me in the chest

even though i spoke my words truthfully

even though i confessed

~~~
because you broke my trust

i let it go the first time

but you treated our relationship poorly

like you only worked half-time

~~~
because you were the one that cheated

i won’t trust any kind of love

i never flirted with your best friend

you did exactly the above

~~~
because you couldn’t come to me

with everything that happened wrong

i had to accept my loss

now i cry to our song

~~~
because you’re not good enough for me

i’ve decided to see someone else

now i’m starting to forget about you

collecting dust on a forgotten shelf

~~~
because i want something better

it’s ok if you leave

but there is something i’ll miss

putting my arm down your sleeve

~~~

because i now know what’s right

i’m never going back

you didn't know how to treat me

the memories have gone black

...

if you read this whole thing, thanks so much. also, feel free to only review the poems you want.