Young Writers Society

what makes me think of you

my friends tell me it’s been too long

and that i should go ahead

but i don’t want to leave without you

so i lie here in bed

~~~

as i stare up to the ceiling

i imagine you by my side,

with your arm around my shoulders

my tears are never dried

~~~
i want to lay my head on your chest

and let my worries go

but i’m afraid you are long gone

and so it begins to snow

~~~
i sing softly to myself

the song to we used to play

it says it over and over

the word you used to say

~~~
”beautiful, beautiful, beautiful”

echos in my head

i still hear it with your voice

but my heart you ripped to shreds

~~~
everything makes me think of you

from the music to the sky

i have to keep telling myself,

“he really wasn’t that great of a guy”

~~~
but as much i as long to

and as much as i care

i can’t love you

i’m leaving this time, i swear

...

i don’t want to love him

the butterflies still fill my stomach

whenever i see his name

i don’t want to love him

i feel so much shame

~~~
my cheeks still flush

to the the darkest shade of red

i don’t want to care for him

still these tears i shed

~~~
his smile still makes me smile

but i don’t think it should

i don’t want to think about him

nobody can make me happy like you could

~~~
i stare longingly

at his bright blue eyes

i don’t want to despise him

but he is surrounded by lies

~~~
my palms get sweaty

and my hands get shaky

i don’t want to leave him

i let the memories get grainy

~~~
however much i miss him

and however much i care

i don’t want to love him

i don’t even want to share the same air

...

the pictures that haunt my mind

they haunt my mind like ghosts

roaming the lonely halls

of a forgotten old mansion

that used to be filled with grandeur and balls

~~~

the pictures that ruined my life

and made me a goddess

i hate them more than anything

if i’m being honest

~~~
i know people remember them

and i know they always will

it wasn’t something i’d do again

the aftermath wasn’t worth the thrill

~~~
and so they still haunt me

sneaking into my dreams

they turn my sleep into nightmares

i’d rather stay awake, by all means

...

because i know better now

because i’m not enough

you suddenly left

thanks to you

i was always stressed

~~~
because you weren’t ready

we parted ways

day and night blur together

the months pass in a daze

~~~
because i apparently lied

you might as well stab me in the chest

even though i spoke my words truthfully

even though i confessed

~~~
because you broke my trust

i let it go the first time

but you treated our relationship poorly

like you only worked half-time

~~~
because you were the one that cheated

i won’t trust any kind of love

i never flirted with your best friend

you did exactly the above

~~~
because you couldn’t come to me

with everything that happened wrong

i had to accept my loss

now i cry to our song

~~~
because you’re not good enough for me

i’ve decided to see someone else

now i’m starting to forget about you

collecting dust on a forgotten shelf

~~~
because i want something better

it’s ok if you leave

but there is something i’ll miss

putting my arm down your sleeve

~~~

because i now know what’s right

i’m never going back

you didn't know how to treat me

the memories have gone black

...

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