i wish i had never clicked that link
i wish i had never seen it
i wish i could forget everything
i wish i would have gone and beat it
~~~
i wish i had never looked at him
i wish i had never touched him
i wish i had never kissed his lips
i wish i could never feel it
~~~
i wish i never left my room
i wish i had let it be
i wish i left before it went too far
i wish i had never told anybody
~~~
i wish i could leave this place forever
i wish they would let me go
i wish i had the voice to speak
i wish i could make it alone
~~~
i wish i knew they loved me
i wish i knew they cared
i wish that they think about me too
i wish i didn’t share
~~~
i wish i could hold his hand
i wish i could touch his hair
i wish that he loved me too
i wish he was still here
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140,085 Literary Works • 672,996 Reviews
Your repetition works because you used complete thoughts for each line, well done.
thanks!
thanks!
Hi! Hannah here for a quick review. I loved this poem! I loved how you repeated "I wish" at the beginning of each line. It really makes the poem powerful.
I also noticed that each stanza it was about one certain thing or person with a bunch of minor subjects. I think that that was a good idea! It kind of breaks the poem down. I just have a minor grammar critique. I is not capitalized in the sentence. Other than that, great job! I hope to hear more from you. Merry Christmas, and keep writing. Have a good day!
Hannah
merry christmas to you as well, and thank you for the review.
anytime!
Great job on the poem! I loved your use of repetition, it made the poem more powerful. I also really liked how you made it into a narrative in a way.
Every time the person said "I wish", it was something they regret. This is a very relatable poem because everybody does something they regret at least one in their life. Whether it's saying something they shouldn't have or doing something that was wrong. The repetition in your poem made the persons regrets more noticable, I don't know if that makes sense, right now I just can't find the right words to convey what I'm trying to say. The repetition of using "I wish" makes you realize the sheer number of things the person regrets or wished they could change. This makes you realize that nobody is perfect because everyone has something they regret.
Overall, great job on the poem! I have nothing criticizing to say which I guess is a good thing. Your poem had so much power in it because of your use of repetition. Can't wait to read what you write next!
Carpe diem,
LUNARGIRL
thank you so much! i%u2019m glad you enjoyed it.
<3
<3
Hi! I hope you're having a good day-or night, haha.
To start with-wow. The technique, the use of repetition, even if simple, is extremely effective. I admire how you've managed to create a narrative-or at least, a set of coinciding narratives-even through such a simplistic method, it's wonderful. You've managed to create an emotive, powerful piece of writing, and formatted it quite well, great job.
thanks so much!!