omg, hold on, lemme get my reviewing glasses on (it’s been a while).
Hi Serrurie! I’ve been scrolling through the poetry section, and as a fellow Poetry Anthology enjoyer, I couldn’t pass on reading this beautiful work!
Anyways, let’s get straight to it!
soak me in
What a sad yet beautiful first poem!
Does it soak in the moments
when it feels it unworthy of love?
Or does it think its tears are a gift,
coming solely from up above?
I couldn’t help but think of God on the line ‘solely from up above’ here.
Overall, I love the metaphors, the way you humanized the clouds and rain, and the soothing word choices you made.
flamingo
This poem sounds so much like a partner doing everything to be perfect for the other partner. It’s normally an unhealthy relationship that’s portrayed in these situations. But, in this poem, it feels more like the partner is trying to be perfect to protect, to help the other.
I have pruned myself 'till I'm salmon.
Ask me, 'What makes you have such a hue?'
Well, my sweet, feathered friend,
I am only pink from you.
I love how this ends, showing how much “I” in this poem really love the other person. (maybe “you” as in the reader of this, who is possibly a flamingo)
Sunset
Oof, departures are always a melancholic topic in Poems, and this lives up to it!
Remember when I laid?
On the ground?
Until the cold earth grew hotter?
Remember?
Remember?
The passage of time that you portrayed, each of the lines ending in a question mark, both making the reader reminisce and ponder; it’s a beautiful poem!
Brick and Mortar
As I read more, i realize that these are all poems directed (somewhat literally) to the subjects in the title.
Like a brick wall,
Made only for a purpose
To keep you from crumbling
You can't live without me,
and I can't bear to be alone.
But what good is my sacrifice,
to turn a brick into a home?
this poem seems to be talking about a brick’s sacrifice to protect something precious, elegantly illustrating the want to protect your loved ones.
Sandbanks
Tell me your secrets,
they won't slip from my mind.
Give me your heart,
for sand grains aren't as fine.
The way this poem portrays the want to keep someone, but it being washed away as naturally yet painfully as the waves come in to wash away sandbanks, it’s superb (I’m running out of thesaurus words for beautiful, c’mon man, you made too many good poems lol).
Anyways, this poem really feels as if I don’t want something precious to go away, and it shows.
Bermuda
That I was nothing more,
than a temporary pleasure.
But you stay with me,
throughout it all,
and joy comes in the morning,
when the storms fall.
I love how this tells a story of sort. Bermuda is a really lovely place, beautiful oceans and beaches. However, it became one of the most infamous plane disappearance places because of the frequent and powerful storms. The poems slightly devolves as the poet tries to calm bermuda down. In the end though, through the storm, I felt ultimately that I could see the beauty of Bermuda through its storms and plane disappearances.
All in All,
I loved the different ways different subjects were portrayed as the love interest. The way you illustrate all these as genuinely beautiful creations is fantastic and now, with me running out of basically all the synonyms for “beautiful” I can think of, I bid you adieu dear poet.
Have a nice day!
Points: 4101
Reviews: 49
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