BEFORE YOU READ: Read the first letter of each line before reading the poem horizontally.
Please fall in love with me
don't you see that I'm lonely?
love is a very fragile thing
me, just me, is so, lonely.
I want to be with you.
am I too wistful for love that's true?
happy, I am, and sad all at once
I believe that I am a dunce.
am I too crazy for love that's true?
restless is something I am around you.
to be held in your arms is my one dream
be what sets my eyes agleam.
reckless is my silly crush on you,
and I can't help but think you feel it too.
free would you be if you were with me.
I'm very crazy, maddened indeed.
not hysterical, you make me wobbly.
crazy is a very fragile word
Just tell me I'm crazy, I won't be hurt.
a mad hatter in some tales is looked on with honor.
bit by bit I tell myself such fodder.
lazy is love, so I'll call it obesssion
If you fall in love with me then I'll be your pretension.
I want to be with you.
can't you see my love, so true?
care is something I'd like from someone.
for care from you is found only in love.
myself, myself, me, myself, and I,
how can I live alone, on the sidelines?
can you confess your love for me too?
I can tell on both sides, love is true.
care for me and I'll care for you.
for love on both sides is stronger than a troop.
you are my infatuation,
and, in fact, a desperate obsession.
for confession to happen, you must say it first.
me, I'm so desperate, I had to rehearse.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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125,022 Literary Works • 672,759 Reviews
Among the few poems I've read, this one looked really intriguing! I like the format and the opposing contrast in the lines, it's like I'm reading two separate poems at once. There are some strong emotions, like 'obsession', 'maddened' and 'infatuation' which really stuck out to me.
I also like that the words flow really smoothly and that this poem did not stray off from what you're trying to portray, which I believe is the unhealthy obsession this character has with someone else. I could feel the desperation and yearning really well! This was a good read.
Hey there, friend
Ellie stopping by with a quick review for this poem of yours. Let’s get right into it!
To begin, this was very creative. I love how you had two messages: the actual poem itself, and then the first word in each line that creates this separate message for us. The actual poem talking about wanting to be in love, while the poem going downwards says things like “please don’t love me”. I love this! The contrast of messages, both literal and then implied, is so powerful to see. You are really talented and I can tell you out a lot of work into this to make it flow and work.
This was my favorite part. You use some cool words like fodder which rhyme with honor. And obsession with pretension. Awesome work on that! I like how you talked about the mad hatter and connected literal life to fairytales, dreams and hopes with fantasies. The contrast is cool. Overall, I love the effort you put into this poem and I think it payed off. Wonderful job!
Your friend,
Ellie
Thanks, Ellie! I actually had to research words for this poem