What is a lifetime in your eyes?
A series of moments,
stretched across time?
A glimpse of the earth spinning round and round,
With a million hearts,
Day and night.
***
But I've noticed that lifetimes are so much more.
Love and heartbreak, peace and war.
It'll take a lifetime to rebuild the hearts we thought we had.
***
How sad.
***
A lifetime is something I've never had since I was thirteen years old.
When love tended to fumble,
Our hearts would rumble,
We had no fear of growing old.
But as I've aged,
Played life's little game,
I've become so less bold.
***
It'll take a lifetime to find the courage
To grab the hands I want to hold.
The love we had,
Left when time past,
And when we refused to grow.
***
A lifetime gone,
In a little song,
I guess I reaped what I've sowed.
***
What is a lifetime in your eyes?
A city whose walls always crumble down?
A picture of a place of serene majesty,
But just like Atlantis,
It'll always drown.
***
Maybe in another lifetime,
We can breathe underwater.
Take the hate, we wouldn't be bothered.
But for now,
I'll spend my lifetime.
All these precious days and nights.
I will spend a lifetime...
Learning
How
To
Forgive
You.
Hello! I don't know if you could tell this was more of a song style poem, but I hope you enjoyed it!
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,738 Reviews
Hey! I love the how much you go into depth about the description of a lifetime, as in a very small and precious amount of time. This definitely made me think, which is in my eyes what literature´s (especially if we are talking poetry) first and most important task. I also love the very much vivid description of a lifetime crumbling down and drowning like Atlantis. The bittersweet ending is spectacular as well, talking about forgiveness and if and how forgiveness is possible. Overall my favourite line from this is "Maybe in another lifetime, we can breathe underwater". I mean it is heartbreaking, for sure, but written beautifully raw. Well done!
Hai :3
This has such a bittersweet feel, which really adds to the whole reflection on time, love, and forgiveness!! The way you weave in both the quiet beauty and sadness of life across lifetimes feels so real ~~ Like a moment of pure introspection but in such a gentle way. The repetition of “a lifetime” grounds the piece so well, and it’s like every section of the poem is exploring a different piece of what that word can mean.
That line hit hard!! It’s one of those moments where you’re reminded of the fragility of love and how much effort goes into rebuilding something once it's been broken. Ouch, but so poignant!! I adore that with the shift when you bring in age and growing older too. Like, you really capture the essence of realizing how different life feels as we age, without sounding cliché at all!! It's a good way to look at love.
There's something about the simplicity of that phrasing that packs a punch. It gives this sense of resignation, but also reflection, like you’ve felt the weight of the years and maybe become more careful about life and loving people.
The Atlantis metaphor !!!
I absolutely adore that!! Comparing a lifetime or love to something so majestic but destined to sink is such a vivid, tragic image. It makes the poem feel mythic, like you’re dealing with ancient themes of destruction and hope at the same time. It adds this layer of unattainability to the whole thing ~~ Like love or peace is always just out of reach, but it's in your nature to want to keep trying for them.
I think it's great juxtaposed with the ending!! The whole poem builds up to this moment of clarity and it's such a beautiful, bittersweet note to end on. It’s like, even with all the pain, there's room for healing, but it's going to take a lifetime to get there. It’s reflective, dreamy, and sad in all the best ways!! ^_^
- Payton
Hello, gru! century here to review this wonderful work using my tea making method! Let's dive in.
first impressions
ahh! i loved these lyrics so so much. the space metaphors scattered across it were just everything for me. i also enjoyed the sprinkling in of underwater themes was great too!
it has a beautiful poetic and lyrical flow, and i loved the slight rhymes in it too!
compliments
i loved so many parts of this! a few outstanding parts were:
i loved the acknowledgement of becoming less adventrous as life goes on, and losing hope. it really hit hard and i loved it so much.
i loved this line, because for me i interpreted it as someone saying "maybe next time we coild've worked out, but we can't"
critiques/room for improvement
I have only one critique right now--
removing the "so" for "i've become so less bold" unless you make it so much? it just kinda breaks up the flow of the song in my eyes.
final notes
i loved this song so much! i'd love to hear like. a guitar to it! never stop writing, this was amazing.
~Never Stop Writing~
-Century