Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.
I stir awake, my hand instinctively reaching over, but all I feel is cold sheets, startled my eyes flutter open. Cole is gone. I sit upright, rubbing my eyes with my hands and taking in my surroundings. I notice a folded up piece of paper and pad my way towards it. I run my finger over the ink etched across the front, Sky. I unfold the paper and read the note. I glance at the clock realizing it's 11:00 pm and find my way back to the bed, note still in hand.
"Meet me where we met."
I think back to that day and I feel suffocated, like somehow right now the water is going to take me away. Before I can overthink it I set the note on the bedside table and lie back down in bed, tossing and turning for the rest of the night. When it's finally morning I throw on an old grey sweater and some ripped jeans along with my black converse and make my way down the stair and out the door, careful not to make too much noise as to get an inquisition from my parents. Once I'm safely out the door I start towards the beach.
I'm sitting on the beach, picking up pebbles and turning them over in my hand, feeling each bump and ridge before I toss it across the water. My legs keep tapping on the floor like a jackhammer and I try to settle down when I notice her rounding the corner and making her way towards me. Her long wavy hair blowing in the breeze, the goosebumps pricking her forearms. In that moment all I can think about it taking her in my arms and kissing away the chill, wrapping her up in me where we can stay like that forever.
"Hi" It comes out small, almost a whisper and just like that I'm slipped away from my daydream.
I motion her to the spot beside me and she sits down, turning her body towards me. This is it, this could very well be the last time I sit and have a conversation with the girl I love. I have to tell her the truth and who knows what happens then. The truth can be painful or wonderful, and because I know what's about to happen I just sit there a moment and drink her in, her green eyes and wavy hair. She's looking at me, puzzled, so I break the silence.
"I need to tell you something." I say
"I kinda figured." she says as she pulls the note out of her pocket.
I take her by the hand because I just want to feel her warmth and then it spills out of me like lava and I can't stop until I've said everything. The snooping, the car, my dad's history. Before I can finish my thought her hands are now ice cold and her breathing is shallow.
"Please, please talk to me. I'm so sorry. So so sorry." I rasp.
She glances at me nervously looking around as if everyone in the city heard me, even though we were alone. She pulls her hand from mine and I can see a tear welling in her eye.
"Please no, fuck, no Sky no, no, no."
"I can't do this right now," she croaks. And with that she's on her feet, running.
I'm frozen in my seat, I want to go after her, to grab her and hold her and not let her go, but I know that's not the right thing to do, she needs time. I just hope that's not the last we had together.
I'm panting, sucking air into my burning lungs as fast as I can. My mind is reeling from his words and I look up and the sky is spinning and I want to scream, I want to scream as loud as I possibly can as if that will bring her back and as if it will take the words and put them back in his mouth. Suddenly my body is convulsing and the tears are streaming down my face, hot and heavy and I can taste them. I sit down and put my head in my hands and rock back and fourth until my breathing steadies. I grab a handful of pebbles and propel them forward where they crash in a heap. All I want is for the memory of this last hour be erased, but I know he needed to tell me, I know it was the right thing to do, but I'm still pissed. Pissed at him for knowing, pissed at his dad for killing her, pissed at myself for being so angry all the time. After another hour of lying there I get up and walk home, feeling empty and alone, but most of all hurt.