Young Writers Society

Hmmm... Nope. Can't see why Glory recommended them either.

Nice story. I like that when Silver was distressed she went to clear her mind and talk with someone about it. Did Glory tell her the Sphinx was a good dragon to talk to some time in the past? Or did Silver go to Glory distressed and Glory redirected her to Sphinx?

I really like how annoyed Silver was with Sphinx though. Very realistic given how distressed she was. Though she seems to be a bit nervous all the time (at least while her brother is in potential danger) so I'm not sure if this outburst is normal for her. She didn't want to yell at her brother after all. Guess I'll just have to keep reading to get to know her better.

I liked your description of the bar too. Though since you use the words "overlooking THE smoking volcano" it gave me the impression that I should know what volcano is being mentioned here. It would be cool if that was a reference to something in wings of fire but I don't remember a volcano being prominent.

I also like how you brought back the idea of Scorch. It really makes him feel like a looming threat that shouldn't be forgotten.

Lastly, Is that Sphinx in the picture at the top! If so, did you commission a pic of the character just for this story? It looks so good! Really cool.

Can't wait to find out what happens next in the snowy Icewing territory as Silver goes to meet Snowfall.

In this second chapter of the book, the protagonist, Silver, visits a bar named the Broken Talon (i like the bar name!) in search of someone to talk to about her worries. Queen Glory, a good friend of Silver, had recommended 'Sphinx' as someone she could possibly talk to. However, when she meets Sphinx, they prove to be of little help and become more of a hindrance with their unhelpful and flippant comments about Silver's struggles. Despite this, Silver eventually opens up to Sphinx about her concerns regarding her brother, who is guarding the worst villain in history, an Animus dragon named Scorch. Sphinx's advice is not very helpful and comes across as insensitive, telling Silver to try something new or yell at her brother. Ultimately, Silver decides to meet with Snowfall instead and leaves the bar.

This chapter therefore provides us with more insight into Silver's character as a more reserved and introspective dragon who is struggling with a difficult situation. It also establishes the contrast between Silver's demeanor and Sphinx's loud and boisterous personality. The scene at the Broken Talon is a good example of how not everyone can be trusted or relied upon, and it's important to be cautious when seeking advice.

I'm enjoying Silver's character and hoping to see more development and action soon!

Queen Glory (Silver's good friend) had personally recommended him

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!! Just a disclaimer. I am not familiar with this series so I am treating every character as if its your original ones and just treating it like any other story.

First Impression: Okayy this is continuing along nicely. I like the way its taking shape here already. Silver is already a really fun character to get behind and Sphinx seems like a great character too. I'm looking forward to seeing these two interact more in the coming chapters.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Sphinx was not the kind of dragon you would typically forget. The loud Sandwing normally went by they/them, and had quite the personality.

Queen Glory (Silver's good friend) had personally recommended him, in case she had wanted to speak about her brother to anyone, for god knows what reason.

Before, Silver had been quite shocked. She was mostly just disappointed, although a little worried, too. After all, the animus could escape any second and murder every dragon on the planet. Anyone would be worried about that... right?

Silver slowly walked into the Broken Talon. It was a large bar cut into the side of a cliff. It over looked the smoking volcano in the distance.

"HEY, SIIIIILVER,"

Silver turned around to see Sphinx sitting on the side of the patio, right behind her. Silver groaned.

"So... you wanted to talk, right?" Sphinx unfurled their wings, hitting a few Icewings in the process.

"Hey, watch it." one grumbled. Silver groaned. This was going to take a long time.

"Get me another one." said Sphinx, holding their empty mug over their head. "A full cup"

Silver hissed. "Like I said, Glory recommended you; she was clearly wrong. Should I tell her that? I won't cover the drinks, I'll just leave here immediately." Sphinx cringed. Obviously the aspect of having to pay all that was a very scary thought.

*sighs* "Fine." they groaned. "talk, and I'll listen." Finally, they were getting somewhere.

"Well..." she explained what happened. When she finished, Sphinx didn't say anything, until,"If that's your biggest problem, you have a good life."

"GOD!" screamed Silver. "Honestly?! Good-BYE." she was about to list off, when they stopped her.

"Fine, just cover the drinks and I'll listen better..." Sphinx was desperate. "So, I guess... try to do something new? Don't think about what happened? Ooo, you should YELL at Midnight."

"Yell?"

"Yes, yell."

"Well, I guess it works for dragons like you, but not for me... I suppose I can meet up with Snowfall or something." Silver said. She pulled out a few coins, and handed them to the Sandwing.

"I'll keep that in mind." she said, and then flew off into the sky.