Young Writers Society

Hi again, really interesting chapter. I like you you are slowly connecting all the different characters you've been building up to this point.

I am a bit confused as I thought Redwood was just being dramatic and didn't actually HAVE future seeing powers. Why does he have future seeing powers? Is he a mixed breed between a Nightwing and Leafwing?

Animus dragons have it really rough if they try to be good. Like, all the good ones have tragic backstories or end up with something terrible happening to them. Everyone tries to use them and assumes they're bad. (I really like Turtle as a good animus dragon) I hope Scorch turns out to be misunderstood or something too.

"So this dude... has so soul left?"
the 'so' should have been a 'no'.

Why did we end up going to check on Scorch? I feel that should have been explained before that last scene.
Why would Snowfall and Silver need to pretend Silver was her handmaiden (and wouldn't it be talon-maiden?).

Loved the twist that Midnight shows up at the end.

Good job on this overall. It really helped settle a lot of my confusion.

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Well this was quite a different tone from the previous one, it seems we're right back to things being more focused on that action than what we had in the previous chapter and its coming along quite nicely I think.

Anyway let's get right to it,

"What?!" yelled Silver. "HOW does this happen again?!"

"Scorch causes all of this, as I've said ten times."

"But-how- but he's- it can't-" Silver began shakily. "Scorch is-" She buried her face in her talons.

"Oh, no no no no no!"

"What's wrong with her?" asked Redwood inconsiderately, while both Glory and Snowfall glared at him.

"Do you not know?" asked Snowfall quietly. "How do you not know?" Glory sighed.

"You really are not going to tell him?" she asked, and then murmured so quietly everyone had to lean in to hear, "Her brother is guarding Scorch."

"Is that so bad?" He asked. "Making him sound so evil?"

"You just said he's going to destroy the world!" Snowfall snapped, her patience waning to a small amount.

"Yeah, but I just had a vision! Who knows, maybe he did it by accident?"

Glory sighed yet again. She felt like pulling a snowfall, but she was a queen, thus good at hiding her feelings. Idiotic Leafwing, She thought angrily. "Yes, your visions are soooo detailed," she said, trying to keep her voice even. Did it work? Sort-of, but inside she was yelling.

"Hey, I didn't know!... and what's so bad about this dragon again?" Redwood asked.

"He's an Animus," said Snowfall grimly. Both Glory and Redwood raised an eyebrow at the same time, before trading surprised glances although they did it for different reasons. (Glory was wondering why Snowfall didn't elaborate. Redwood wondered what an Animus was.)

"And what, exactly-" Glory sighed, again. Today was record breaking for all of her sighs.

Ooooh it seems we're about to find out even more about all of the

"an animus can do magic, but every time they use it, they lose parts of their souls," she explained in a voice that a teacher may use to teach the alphabet to a preschooler.

"Ohhh," said Redwood, suddenly full of understanding. "So this dude... has so soul left?"

"We're getting somewhere!" Snowfall cried. "Its a miracle!"

It truly was.

"Halt! Identification?" asked a Nightwing. Silver glanced at Snowfall, hoping she wouldn't screw this up. After all, she was an important political figure, not a loud Icewing. (Ookay, she was both. Admit it.)

The two of them were dressed up in Snowfall's most fanciest and regal jewlery, now standing out side of Scorch's cave. They were trying to get inside, and find out what exactly was going to happen.

"I am the queen of Icewings, and this is my handmaiden," said Snowfall loudly.

"And what are you doing out here?" asked the Nightwing, holing out a spear twoard them.

"Well," said Snowfall. "Snowflake! Explain!" Silver sighed. Of course she had to explain everything!

"wait-" said a voice, and... Silver held in an appaled yell. Midnight was walking twoards them.

"Why is your Handmaiden a Nightwing? And Why does she look like my sister?"