Young Writers Society

Just gotta say I love how you crossed out heroic and replaced it with stupid at the start. (How did you do that?!)

I like the rivalry Silver has with Sphinx already. They seem great at pushing just the right buttons. You know you're great at annoying people when the mere sight of you makes dragons groan or scowl.

I also like how you mentioned a few times in the story so far that Silver isn't usually so upset. Gives good context for how she must be feeling.

I like the softer side Glory showed this chapter. Especially compared to last chapter. It really showed she cared. (you did make a slight spelling mistake in her lines. "I've never really heard to yell that much" 'to' should have been 'you')

I like the idea of a race as the first challenge. Perhaps a sky wing or sea wing came up with it? The late start seemed a little strange. The explanation that Silver was admiring nature hasn't really been featured before now so it felt more like an excuse for her to start behind the other dragons. (it didn't flow as naturally in the writing because it wasn't set up beforehand)

I wonder why Silver yelled "What do I do" out loud rather than thinking it. She was tired, so it seems strange. Maybe instead of yelling she could have wheezed to accentuate how tired she was. That way when she decides to help the other dragon it is even more heroic, and any struggles thereafter could be explained by the fact she was so tired.

Thinking about it now, I wonder if that was a seawing diving into the water rather than falling into it from exhaustion.

Overall it seems like this is the start of the next section of the story going over this queenship contest. Maybe we'll find out more about the vision as we go along too.

Yes another chapter! i'm really getting into this story!

"Not you" Groaned Silver, annoyed. She glared at Sphinx so much that if eyeballs could speak, hers would be screaming.

"You are not charming." Silver snapped, not bothering to hide her jealousy. But... she wasn't jealous of them. But... the way Glory had recommended them so smoothly, easily. Like a shake of a tail. Silver doubted she'd ever be recommended so quickly. Not the way she lived on the way on the outer edge of the sea, barely talking to anyone. UGH. Stupid idiotic feelings, Silver thought defiantly.

SPLASH! The dragon fell into the ocean. Silver knew what she had to do. She held her breath and dove into the sea after him.

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Well this contest is definitely shaping up to be very interesting here. I am loving the vibes that it is giving off so far and it definitely ends up opening just a whole lot of new questions even as it already feels like its going to be a bit of a climactic moment just on its own.

Anyway let's get right to it,

"Not you" Groaned Silver, annoyed. She glared at Sphinx so much that if eyeballs could speak, hers would be screaming.

"What is so wrong? I am charming." said Sphinx, looking annoyingly heroic stupid. There was no way Silver was letting them become queen. She sighed.

"You are not charming." Silver snapped, not bothering to hide her jealousy. But... she wasn't jealous of them. But... the way Glory had recommended them so smoothly, easily. Like a shake of a tail. Silver doubted she'd ever be recommended so quickly. Not the way she lived on the way on the outer edge of the sea, barely talking to anyone. UGH. Stupid idiotic feelings, Silver thought defiantly.

"Sign me UP." snapped Silver, slowly lifting into flight. She was flying up, up, up to the large cliff thing, when suddenly Sphinx was behind her.

"Change your mind, huh?" he asked. Silver glared at them.

"Okay. 1) I never said I wasn't going to do this before YOU rudely interrupted me, and 2) WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO ANNOYING?!"

"Well," said Sphinx, not looking the slightest bit hurt, "You said, 'why me?!" and then made a very loud groaning sound." The two touched down on the rock, but they kept on bickering.

"So? That was a rhetorical question!" Silver snapped.

"Like you know what's rhetorical."

"Of course I do! Better than YOU, at LEAST." Silver rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I would be a way better queen than you would be queen."

The five dragons stared at them.

"Well," Sphinx completely ignored Silver. "is there some ink I can borrow? I want to sign my name right here." Those words made Silver even more aggravated.

"Ink you can borrow? Ink you can borrow?! How about you can let me shove you off a cliff?!" Smoke poured out of her nostrils. "Let me through." she shoved past about a couple dozen dragons and said, "May the best dragon win. a.k.a.ME." She signed her name on the scroll so hard it nearly ripped in two.

"She's a feisty one," said a Seawing.

"I am when I need to be." snapped Silver back.

"So!" a Nightwing announced. "Tomorrow, at Sunrise, the competition begins! Meet us at the Sapphire falls!"

The crowd slowly flew away, but Glory awaited Silver when she landed next to her, and they began flying.

"So... I've never really heard to yell that much," said Glory.

"Sphinx sucks." said Silver grumpily. Soon they approached the rainforest.

"See you tomorrow?" asked Glory hopefully.

"I don't really have a choice." replied Silver.

"Well, I hope this is worth it." said Glory. Silver smiled and continued flying until she got to the beach. She crawled into her cave.

"What a jerk," she said, and fell asleep.

The next morning, Silver gasped. "Oh no! The contest!" she panicked. She quickly devoured her fish that she was having for breakfast, and flew into the cool air. It was still so early out that the sun had not come up yet.

"C'mon.. c'mon..." Silver landed on top of the waterfall.

"so..." said the Nightwing."to win this first challenge, you must fly across the ocean to the nearest island, then come back."

Everyone gasped. That would mean they would have to go to the outpost island!

"and yes, you must avid getting captured by the guards." said the Sandwing loudly. "Three... two... one... Go!" all the dragons lifted off into the air. However, while everyone was up ahead, Silver could not help to stop and admire the nature around her.

"Go!" yelled Glory, putting her back into the present again. Silver flew with all her might.

Later on, Silver was panting. She was almost halfway to the outpost island, and yet her wings were screaming with pain. She wanted to touch down and take a nap, but there were no other landforms in sight. She would most likely plummet into the sea and drown. Speaking of the thought, Silver suddenly noticed something peculiar. A shape was coming down.

just a little farther! She thought. She finally got to the shape and noticed it was a dragon, falling into the sea!

"What do I do?" yelled Silver.

SPLASH! The dragon fell into the ocean. Silver knew what she had to do. She held her breath and dove into the sea after him.