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Wetfire: Chapter Seven

by foxmaster


"What? WHAT!!!!" Silver yelled, trying to act confused. (She wasn't really, but she didn't want anyone to know about the vision/dreams.)

"The end of the world?! NO WAY!!!!" Yup, very good at lying. 

"I don't know!!!!" yelled Snowfall, losing her temper. "I have NO IDEA!!!!" 

Silver stared at her. "I thought you were going to stop yelling at everyone about everything?" 

"THAT is not when  dragons are not LISTENING to ME." added Snowfall, flapping her wings in annoyance. 

"I DO listen, so HA!" added Silver. She felt a headache coming on. "And please don't yell at me so much..." 

"let's go already." snapped Snowfall. The two flew into the air and headed the direction of the rainforest. 

When they finally landed, they turned towards the direction of the healer's hut. Silver walked in, not knowing what to expect. She scanned the room until she noticed everyone gathered around a small hammock. 

"Silver?" asked Glory, flying over to her. "How are you?"

"We just saw each other." Silver pointed out. 

"Oh, well." said Glory. "So, end of the world stuff? Come on,"  Silver did not feel like "Coming On" one bit, but she ignored her own feelings and walked over to the Leafwing's hammock. 

She had no idea what to do at all. Smile creepily and say: "Hi! HI! HI!!!" as one of her friends would do? Stare? Not say anything? Silver settled with the last, not saying anything, 

"Wake up!" yelled Glory. 

"Gah!" yelled the Leafwing, sitting up quickly. 

"Well, then." said Snowfall. "This is Silver. You wanted to talk to her about the end of the world?"   

                                                                    *****

"So..." said Silver, trying to ignore the uncomfortable (and rather annoying) butterflies in her stomach.

How did this dragon know about my visions? She thought, confused. The Leafwing couldn't be a... no, no, no! That would be just silly! If she was right, then why didn't he just save himself?

"I'm sorry, but who are you?" asked Silver cautiosly. 

"I'm Redwod," said the dragon, stretching. "And you are...?"

"Silver?" said Silver. 

"Was that a question?"

"I don't know, was it?" 

"So," said Redwood. "I've told you all about the end of the world, but I didn't tell you how it's caused."

Was it Silver's imagination, or did he maintain eye contact for a moment?

"Do you know?" She suddenly realized that he was speaking to her. 

"Know what- I mean,why're you asking me?" Silver blathered.

"Well, why shouldn't I?" Snowfall groaned and muttered: "That sounds like something out of a romantic novel, blugh.

Silver had to agree with the Icewing queen. But she knew she couldn't let her guard down so she replied.

"I don't know how it's caused, thank you very much, but was that not a rhetorical question?"

"It certainly was. I am glad there is at least one more dragon in this room who undertands how to act dramatically." Redwood said.

Silver blushed.


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Wed Mar 01, 2023 11:06 pm
dragonight9 wrote a review...



Yay! Another chapter of Wetfire!

It felt like you rushed this one a bit and there were quite a few places that could have used more detail.

Silver and Snowfall's journey to the healer's hut seemed a bit abrupt and I'd have loved a description of Redwood in more detail or maybe how the healer's hut looked as they entered.

I also didn't understand why Snowfall interjected at the end. (And what was it that sounded like something out of a romantic novel?) It was a bit hard to tell who she was responding too.

Silver mentioned that she thought the Leaf wing might be... something. What could he have been that would have allowed him to save himself? If this was supposed to give the reader a hint as to a type of character that would know about her visions and be able avoid his dip in the sea I didn't get it.

Does Redwood have some kind of future sight or is he just faking it? He seems like the type to make it up for attention so good job getting that impression across.

I liked how you mentioned that Snowfall had promised to stop yelling at everyone about everything. I was a bit curious about that since this would have been after her incident with the ring of sight.

I also enjoyed the personality of Redwood the leafwing even if he did seem a bit confusing.

Overall I would say once again to take your time and describe what's going on in each scene so that it is easy for the reader to get the full picture. You did this a bit better in your earlier Wetfire stories so I know you can do it.
If you want some specific suggestions on how to describe certain scenes or clarify who is talking let me know and I'll go more in depth that way next time.




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Sun Feb 26, 2023 2:45 am
Horisun wrote a review...



Ay, another Wings of Fire fan! It's always good to see! I hope you're having a good Review Day so far :D

Silver's abilities are very interesting, and something I could totally see being implemented into the books proper. I like that she can only see the worst possible outcomes, as that differentiates her from other characters that we've met in the past. I wonder how that would affect her psyche. Right now, she seems like a pretty optimistic dragon, but how might her abilities warp her perception on reality as her visions progress?

(Quick note, I did totally think Silver was Glory's sloth from Hidden Kingdom for like, three chapters. I was like, "Oh, this is funny, they're writing from the perspective of a sloth" and then I realized. That's my bad for having a low reading comprehension, haha)

I am curious about why she didn't share her visions with anyone else. I figured this story is established to be a couple years after the War of Sandwing Succession in order to give Silver enough time to hatch and grow up in the rainforest. If this is the case, then the Nightwing abilities should be common knowledge again- at least, that's what implied here, in a line from an earlier chapter:

She hadn't been blessed with vision of the future, she'd been cursed. Silver had been born the darkest night(...)


That might just be me thinking to hard about this, though, so don't worry if I'm just missing something!

My favorite part about your writing is the character interactions. There's so much life and energy, and they're a ton of fun to read!

I think it'd be cool to see you play around a bit with your characters voices, to distinguish one from another. This is a minor nitpick, and a common thing even amongst published authors, but sometimes it's difficult to tell one characters line of dialogue from another.

But all in all, this was a fun read with some sweet original characters! I hope to see you write more for it in the future! Until then, have a great day/night!




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Sun Feb 26, 2023 12:23 am
KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: This is a pretty solid chapter here. I'd say the random romance there is a bit off but otherwise Redwood's introduction goes pretty well there and I think generally it builds up okay.

Anyway let's get right to it,

"What? WHAT!!!!" Silver yelled, trying to act confused. (She wasn't really, but she didn't want anyone to know about the vision/dreams.)

"The end of the world?! NO WAY!!!!" Yup, very good at lying.

"I don't know!!!!" yelled Snowfall, losing her temper. "I have NO IDEA!!!!"

Silver stared at her. "I thought you were going to stop yelling at everyone about everything?"

"THAT is not when dragons are not LISTENING to ME." added Snowfall, flapping her wings in annoyance.


Okayyy..well that's an interesting reaction. I wasn't expecting Silver to play it quite like that but it also does make a lot of sense that she would chose to make a choice like that given the kind of situation she finds herself in here. Let's see what this decision is going to end up taking her towards.

"I DO listen, so HA!" added Silver. She felt a headache coming on. "And please don't yell at me so much..."

"let's go already." snapped Snowfall. The two flew into the air and headed the direction of the rainforest.

When they finally landed, they turned towards the direction of the healer's hut. Silver walked in, not knowing what to expect. She scanned the room until she noticed everyone gathered around a small hammock.

"Silver?" asked Glory, flying over to her. "How are you?"

"We just saw each other." Silver pointed out.


Hmm well things appear to be proceeding along well enough despite everything that went down earlier. So at least for the moment it all seems to be well. The tension in the background is building up quite nicely though. We're definitely just waiting for something to go wrong with all of what Silver has done so far.

"Oh, well." said Glory. "So, end of the world stuff? Come on," Silver did not feel like "Coming On" one bit, but she ignored her own feelings and walked over to the Leafwing's hammock.

She had no idea what to do at all. Smile creepily and say: "Hi! HI! HI!!!" as one of her friends would do? Stare? Not say anything? Silver settled with the last, not saying anything,

"Wake up!" yelled Glory.

"Gah!" yelled the Leafwing, sitting up quickly.

"Well, then." said Snowfall. "This is Silver. You wanted to talk to her about the end of the world?"


Well that was a rather direct moment there, but at the very least it looks like we're going to find out more about what's to come with these end of the world visions, so that's always quite nice. Let's see where this goes.

"So..." said Silver, trying to ignore the uncomfortable (and rather annoying) butterflies in her stomach.

How did this dragon know about my visions? She thought, confused. The Leafwing couldn't be a... no, no, no! That would be just silly! If she was right, then why didn't he just save himself?

"I'm sorry, but who are you?" asked Silver cautiosly.

"I'm Redwod," said the dragon, stretching. "And you are...?"

"Silver?" said Silver.


Okay....the butterflies moment there is a little odd because it doesn't seem to quite fit with the attitude Silver had so far, but its an interesting addition nonetheless and this Redwood person does seem like an interesting one as well. I'm sure we're going to learn quite a bit about him very soon.

"Was that a question?"

"I don't know, was it?"

"So," said Redwood. "I've told you all about the end of the world, but I didn't tell you how it's caused."

Was it Silver's imagination, or did he maintain eye contact for a moment?

"Do you know?" She suddenly realized that he was speaking to her.

"Know what- I mean,why're you asking me?" Silver blathered.


Okayy...this part is a little confusing there. I don't know if its just me but I'm having a hard time here trying to make sense of where Silver is going with this conversation. Redwood appears to just be acting very normally while Silver is randomly all over the place.

"Well, why shouldn't I?" Snowfall groaned and muttered: "That sounds like something out of a romantic novel, blugh."

Silver had to agree with the Icewing queen. But she knew she couldn't let her guard down so she replied.

"I don't know how it's caused, thank you very much, but was that not a rhetorical question?"

"It certainly was. I am glad there is at least one more dragon in this room who undertands how to act dramatically." Redwood said.

Silver blushed.


Hmm...this is quite the note to end on. Redwood does seem pretty interesting at least although I feel like this random crush it seems Silver is starting to develop just feels a bit forced and random. Its getting in the way of the story more than its adding to it which isn't always great for a little romantic subplot.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, a fairly strong scene there and I think its been built up well. Reading through it a couple of times makes the romance a little better but I still think you'd need to make that blend in a little better because it still really feels a bit out of nowhere. Perhaps if there'd been more of an indicator while Silver was still rescuing this would feel less random and forced but yeah. Looking forward to see what more Redwood has to say in the coming chapters!

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Kate





My spelling is wobbly. It's good spelling, but it wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places.
— A.A. Milne