Young Writers Society

Yay! Another chapter of Wetfire!

It felt like you rushed this one a bit and there were quite a few places that could have used more detail.

Silver and Snowfall's journey to the healer's hut seemed a bit abrupt and I'd have loved a description of Redwood in more detail or maybe how the healer's hut looked as they entered.

I also didn't understand why Snowfall interjected at the end. (And what was it that sounded like something out of a romantic novel?) It was a bit hard to tell who she was responding too.

Silver mentioned that she thought the Leaf wing might be... something. What could he have been that would have allowed him to save himself? If this was supposed to give the reader a hint as to a type of character that would know about her visions and be able avoid his dip in the sea I didn't get it.

Does Redwood have some kind of future sight or is he just faking it? He seems like the type to make it up for attention so good job getting that impression across.

I liked how you mentioned that Snowfall had promised to stop yelling at everyone about everything. I was a bit curious about that since this would have been after her incident with the ring of sight.

I also enjoyed the personality of Redwood the leafwing even if he did seem a bit confusing.

Overall I would say once again to take your time and describe what's going on in each scene so that it is easy for the reader to get the full picture. You did this a bit better in your earlier Wetfire stories so I know you can do it.
If you want some specific suggestions on how to describe certain scenes or clarify who is talking let me know and I'll go more in depth that way next time.

Ay, another Wings of Fire fan! It's always good to see! I hope you're having a good Review Day so far

Silver's abilities are very interesting, and something I could totally see being implemented into the books proper. I like that she can only see the worst possible outcomes, as that differentiates her from other characters that we've met in the past. I wonder how that would affect her psyche. Right now, she seems like a pretty optimistic dragon, but how might her abilities warp her perception on reality as her visions progress?

(Quick note, I did totally think Silver was Glory's sloth from Hidden Kingdom for like, three chapters. I was like, "Oh, this is funny, they're writing from the perspective of a sloth" and then I realized. That's my bad for having a low reading comprehension, haha)

I am curious about why she didn't share her visions with anyone else. I figured this story is established to be a couple years after the War of Sandwing Succession in order to give Silver enough time to hatch and grow up in the rainforest. If this is the case, then the Nightwing abilities should be common knowledge again- at least, that's what implied here, in a line from an earlier chapter:

She hadn't been blessed with vision of the future, she'd been cursed. Silver had been born the darkest night(...)

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: This is a pretty solid chapter here. I'd say the random romance there is a bit off but otherwise Redwood's introduction goes pretty well there and I think generally it builds up okay.

Anyway let's get right to it,

"What? WHAT!!!!" Silver yelled, trying to act confused. (She wasn't really, but she didn't want anyone to know about the vision/dreams.)

"The end of the world?! NO WAY!!!!" Yup, very good at lying.

"I don't know!!!!" yelled Snowfall, losing her temper. "I have NO IDEA!!!!"

Silver stared at her. "I thought you were going to stop yelling at everyone about everything?"

"THAT is not when dragons are not LISTENING to ME." added Snowfall, flapping her wings in annoyance.

"I DO listen, so HA!" added Silver. She felt a headache coming on. "And please don't yell at me so much..."

"let's go already." snapped Snowfall. The two flew into the air and headed the direction of the rainforest.

When they finally landed, they turned towards the direction of the healer's hut. Silver walked in, not knowing what to expect. She scanned the room until she noticed everyone gathered around a small hammock.

"Silver?" asked Glory, flying over to her. "How are you?"

"We just saw each other." Silver pointed out.

"Oh, well." said Glory. "So, end of the world stuff? Come on," Silver did not feel like "Coming On" one bit, but she ignored her own feelings and walked over to the Leafwing's hammock.

She had no idea what to do at all. Smile creepily and say: "Hi! HI! HI!!!" as one of her friends would do? Stare? Not say anything? Silver settled with the last, not saying anything,

"Wake up!" yelled Glory.

"Gah!" yelled the Leafwing, sitting up quickly.

"Well, then." said Snowfall. "This is Silver. You wanted to talk to her about the end of the world?"

"So..." said Silver, trying to ignore the uncomfortable (and rather annoying) butterflies in her stomach.

How did this dragon know about my visions? She thought, confused. The Leafwing couldn't be a... no, no, no! That would be just silly! If she was right, then why didn't he just save himself?

"I'm sorry, but who are you?" asked Silver cautiosly.

"I'm Redwod," said the dragon, stretching. "And you are...?"

"Silver?" said Silver.

"Was that a question?"

"I don't know, was it?"

"So," said Redwood. "I've told you all about the end of the world, but I didn't tell you how it's caused."

Was it Silver's imagination, or did he maintain eye contact for a moment?

"Do you know?" She suddenly realized that he was speaking to her.

"Know what- I mean,why're you asking me?" Silver blathered.

"Well, why shouldn't I?" Snowfall groaned and muttered: "That sounds like something out of a romantic novel, blugh."

Silver had to agree with the Icewing queen. But she knew she couldn't let her guard down so she replied.

"I don't know how it's caused, thank you very much, but was that not a rhetorical question?"

"It certainly was. I am glad there is at least one more dragon in this room who undertands how to act dramatically." Redwood said.

Silver blushed.