Young Writers Society

hiiiii!

your poem is absolutely phenomenal. i’ve never related to someone else’s words more. the way that you were able to perfectly capture the longing of a different life is so full with peace.. it seems as though you know me, without having an knowledge of my existence.

[wish i was born a boy...

...so i can be a stereotype of a 50s gentleman.]

this specific part feels so familiar. wanting to be like the others, it in a way that’s you. i can’t truly explain what i mean, but maybe in some way you understand.

[i crave a word with chivalry behind it,

not a word which receives chivalrous acts.

i want to love her as a man would.]

this entire stanza is beautifully written. i can really feel all of the emotions behind these words, the anger, the longing, the sadness, the wishing, it’s all there. each feeling is very prominent throughout your writing, it makes you really read the words in their intended form.

in all, it is an amazing work of art. thank you for expressing that amount of vulnerability with the world. <33

Hey Rosewood here!!

Ugh, I love this so much. As bad as I am with poetry, I wanted to stop by and give you my best imput!

i wish i was born a boy-
so i could be her boyfriend,
so i could open doors for her,
so i can be a stereotype of a 50s gentleman.

i want to be her boyfriend,
i want to make our own story,
to become cartographers of our own lives,
clearly marking myself as her boyfriend.

Hello, I am leaving a review.
I deeply empathize with the sentiment behind this poem. And I have good news! Anyone can be a boy, or call themselves a boyfriend, use he/him pronouns, whatever they want!

This is a great poem and I see a few places where edits could improve flow.

"i want to be her boyfriend,
i want to make our own story,
to become cartographers of our own lives,
clearly marking myself as her boyfriend."

might read more lyrically if 'i want' was taken out. And repetitive words were consolidated (like "our own")

So,
"To be her boyfriend,
To make our own story,
cartographers of our lives,
clearly marked: I am her boyfriend."

Again, I was happy to read this poem this morning and I thank you for sharing your art.
Hope you have a good day!