12+ Violence

Going through Time-Chapter Seventeen: My Death...Now or Later?

       I slowly stood up, feeling as if my knees would buckle under me at any moment. I wanted to go back in time so that I could hear Chaos's warning again. He would kill me soon? That wasn't good. Chaos was the beginning of the whole entire universe. He had created Gaea and Ouranos. So what would stop him from destroying me? Maybe I was a puny weakling...

        "Snap out of it!" Sadie yelled, lightly punching me in the shoulder. That got me back into my senses. Chaos was chaos. He wanted to create disagreement in the mind. That was what he aimed for, for me to become so helpless he could destroy me and be on his way. I wouldn't let him do that.

        "Okay. So, we keep going in the car until we reach a place to crash for the night. Then we wake up in the morning and decide what to do next." I took command, leading my group over to our car. I latched on to my seatbelt and looked out the window, trying to overcome the battling emotions inside of me. Apprehension, determination, perplexity, courage...it was like they were all wild horses that I needed to tame. I absent-mindedly took Sadie's hand and squeezed. Sadie, my friend, would help me get through this. I felt her squeeze back and promised myself that if...no, when I got back to Camp Half-Blood, I would get her anything she wanted. It wasn't too easy sticking with somebody like me.

        We finally reached a hotel, where Kronos snapped his fingers and produced some money. I took it gratefully and checked us into room 409, then crashed on the bed. One look from an amused Will made me remember to brush my teeth and everything, so I did as well as I could and slipped off my shoes. Crawling into the covers, the last thing I remembered was Kronos standing over me with a strange expression on his face...care? Love? I couldn't make it out.

         "Wake up!" Will's shrill voice called out. I bolted out of bed and quickly dressed, wondering what the Hades was going on. Only when I reached the lobby did I notice the problem. Will, Sadie, and Kronos were battling the lady behind the desk, who had turned into an empousai, the servants of Hecate. I cursed as much as I could and grabbed a kitchen knife.

        I jumped into the battle and dodged the lady's claws, swiping my knife at her back. I managed to nick her before she scraped me with her pinky. Pain erupted near my bicep, but I gritted my teeth and stabbed the empousai near the shoulder. She looked at me with fury and leaped toward my throat, succeeding at grabbing it and holding me up in the air. Will and Sadie stopped abruptly, and I could literally feel the anger evaporating off of Kronos. He lunged forward to attack the empousai, but it held her claw up to my neck and he stepped back.

        "Don't fight. Or I will kill the girl," it snarled, clopping cautiously back while keeping an eye on my group (I forgot to mention that empousai have one bronze leg and one furry leg, with a hoof at the end. It would really hurt to have a backside kick from them). Finally Will couldn't take it anymore. He leaped forward, thinking that he could kill the empousai, but I felt a burning sensation near my throat and drifted away into oblivion.

Comments & reviews · 2
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Dracula
Review
Dracula wrote a review · Sun Feb 22, 2015 5:37 am

Here I am once again, to face the forces of darkness, of Chaos, of... reviewing! Okay, I'll get straight to it.

Maybe I was a puny weakling...
This isn't a nitpick. I just wanted to say that, compared to Chaos, they most certainly are puny weaklings. But brave ones.

I felt her squeeze back and promised myself that if...no, when I got back to Camp Half-Blood, I would get her anything she wanted.
I reckon it would be good if you put when in italics to emphasize it a bit more.

I managed to nick her before she scraped me with her pinky.
This is simple, humourous and perfect!

Uh oh! Another cliff hanger, just like Uncle Rick's. :p Keep going with this story, it's great!

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Rin321
Review
Rin321 wrote a review · Sun Feb 22, 2015 1:23 am

Hey wisegirl22! CHRISSY321 here with a review!
*Happy Review Day*!* :D

So, this sounds so cool, and most things are so clear upfront, and I have not even read any previous chapters! That is great, and can be hard! I do not see anything wrong, but I am going to say all the good things so that you know what good things to repeat!

One may be all the detail. You have plenty of detail- even when it came to what number was on the door of the room they slept in. That is a good habit! Keep it up! :D ;)

The good solid ending! This was great, and everything flowed well to lead up to this point! This has tons of suspense and gets the reader's attention. I love the way you choose to end it! It makes the reader want to read the next part/chapter so badly! I shall go read the others!

I can tell that you love to write- with all you works! You are a great writer, and I encourage you to keep doing so! Great job! This was a pleasure to read! :D

Thank you! I put work into these, and sometimes, when people comment on what need to be fixed, I feel as if everything's wrong and that they're trying to crush my happiness...probably just me though.



As my artist’s statement explains, my work is utterly incomprehensible and is therefore full of deep significance.
— Calvin