I screamed as another image appeared in front of me. I saw Sadie and Will lying on the ground, slowly dying. I could see them trying to work their powers, but a voice in the background laughed as a white cage vaporized around them and stopped their efforts. I watched as blood poured out of Sadie's torso and Will's arm until the magnified sound of their hearts stopped beating.
I was in a cage myself. Glass was formed into a cube surrounding me, and even though glass should've been easy to shatter, this glass was unbreakable. Even when I tried to slash at it with my sword, my sword cracked a little at the tip so I stopped trying.
Suddenly the projection in front of me stopped, and I collapsed onto the floor, gasping. Hades laughed somewhere in front of my cage and came into view. The glass made him look distorted, but I could still see the idiot.
"Enjoying the show, Jasmine?" He cackled. I narrowed my eyes but I knew I was powerless here. I couldn't even get the strength to lift my sword anymore.
"You...idiot," I struggled to breathe. I was getting faint lately; no food had been delivered the past week. Three more of these tortuous weeks and I would be dead.
"Awwww, is wittle Jasmine getting tired?" Hades attempted a baby voice. I growled but didn't make a move to get up.
"Well, since you like the show so much, I'll show you it again!" Hades went back to his room and flipped on the images. He was controlling the images so he could flip them on and off whenever he wanted to.
I screamed again and watched helplessly as they continued.
Sadie's P.O.V.
I was currently very out of breath. Chaos had been chasing us for a week now, a week since my best friend died. I still thought of the scene where the empousa had squeezed, and the blood had began flowing out. I wouldn't talk to Will or look at him. If he hadn't tried to attack, Jaz would have lived and we would've gotten her out of that situation somehow.
As Kronos, Will and I rushed down the road, I stumbled and fell. Will attempted to pull me up, but then he also tripped. Kronos dragged us both up and forced my burning legs to start running again, but it had given Chaos enough time to be on us in an instant.
"You were too easy to beat," he hissed, addressing Kronos. Kronos growled so loud the streets vibrated and stepped closer to Chaos.
"You battled my daughter," he gritted his teeth and clenched his fist. "Chaos, you are nothing but an old mist that's overrated." Stupid Will couldn't help but make an "Ooooooooo" sound, and Chaos's now-solidified eyes snapped to us. I elbowed Will in the ribs and backed away. Chaos laughed, probably at our cowardliness, and advanced. If Jazzy were here, she would brave enough to fight. I pulled out my sword and held my ground as Chaos stepped forward. Without warning, I charged. Chaos was surprised, but soon recovered and hissed at the golden ichor spewing out of a gash I had made.
He ran towards me in a black tornado, but I flipped over the tornado's reach and threw my sword into the air, making a perfect arc right into the eye of the mini storm. Judging by the scream of pain, my throwing skills had improved.
The tornado whirled into nothing and Chaos stepped out, golden liquid flowing from his arm. I inwardly congratulated myself, but quickly redeemed my position and fidgeted as Chaos again advanced, this time with a black ball of fire. This did not look good.
I dodged the first volley, but soon the balls split into sixteen, and it was tiring dodging them all. Will and Kronos were doing their best distracting Chaos, but it wasn't enough. Chaos kept firing. However, I managed to stay alive by some type of purple shield around me, keeping away the balls of fire.
Soon Chaos got tired. I took the chance and before he could shoot anything, I grabbed my sword and stabbed him straight in the heart. Chaos screamed once, which echoed off the walls, and disappeared into dust.
I stared in wonder at my hands. Had I really killed the immortal deity that had born Gaea? "No, you didn't kill him, you just made him stay off for a few years." Kronos answered my thoughts.
"How?..." I questioned. Kronos chuckled a bit at my confusion but said, "Your thoughts for Jaz, I'm guessing. Chaos strives to create, well, chaos. If you're strong enough to resist his forces, he'll be defeated."
I cheered, but it soon faded into worry. I fished a drachma out of my pocket and led my friends into a nearby car wash area. I took the spray gun and made a rainbow, using Kronos's ball of light, then asked for Jasmine Felton. I saw a horrific image that wouldn't get out of my head for years to come.
Jaz was encased in glass that looked unbreakable. She was screaming at something in front of her, but I couldn't see anything, I could hear laughing in the distance, though.
I clenched my fists and swiped my hand through the image before Will could yell anything stupid. I could only feel anger. "C'mon, guys." I hissed. "Jaz is in there."
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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I will start by saying I haven't read the previous chapters. I did love this story though and I like the idea behind it. Most stories bases on or using large amounts of greek mythology are crap that just gets rycycled and reused. Like the percy Jackson series, it's been done a million times before under other names. God of war games reused, Hercules reused, clash of the titans, reused. It's a over used dull concept that unless you're REALLY FUCKING GOOD, the story will always be crap. You are good, and I didn't see anything that was reused in this chapter. So I really liked it.
Anything that gets passed around like a cute cat video on YouTube needs to stop being used lol. I'm glad you didn't do that. I will follow this story if you end up continuing though.
I will, don't worry!
Hello!

Sorry for the comment below, I accidently pressed the 'submit' button (it happens to me a lot>.<).
Anyways! For the review!
I believe I've reviewed one of your previous chapters before, but have not read your other chapters (so excuse me if I get something wrong). But, if I remember right, this chapter is so, so much better than that last one I read. I don't know if you just reviewed over it more, had some help with it, or something , but it's a lot better than the chapter I read before, so I can tell you're on your way to improvement.
You have very nice imagery here, as well as bits and pieces of emotion throughout the piece. Great job.
The only thing I have to say is related to the "Fan-fiction" part. Okay, so I love the Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus books. And your story is getting along very nicely. However, I think you could add a little more... hmm, let's call it character to your characters. Personality. Ways they act. Ways they react to things. And, this doesn't just have to be from reference from the Percy Jackson stories, it could be from anything. I'm not exactly sure how fan fiction works, but you should probably stick to personality traits and such that are in Percy Jackson. Then again, I have no idea what fan fiction's about (you are creating your own story though, I'm just not aware of its limits).
Awesome job, though! I hope this review proves helpful to you! And keep writing! You have an amazing potential as a writer!
~ EternalRain
Yeah, but I just want to paint a different picture of Kronos, like an actual dad.