z
  • Home

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Shadow's Rising {Wing 4} Chapter 7

by dragonight9


Chapter 7

Beginnings of a new adventure

“Dragon Rider Academy? Is that where your human brother is?” Hailstorm asked curiously. Shadow nodded.

“Yes. It is a place where humans learn how to control captured dragons and use them to fight monsters.”

Tempest reeled back in shock. “Wait! Your human went to a place where they capture and enslave dragons, and that didn’t even worry you?!”

Shadow gave her a small smile.

“You don’t know Jarid. I am sure he hates the idea of dragons being enslaved just as much as you do. Besides, it’s not like humans only treat dragons that way. They enslave all kinds of animals and even each other. It’s just a part of their society. We may not like it and I’m sure not all humans like the idea of slaves either, but most don’t know any better.”

Humans enslave other humans? But that doesn’t even make sense. Don’t they realise they are the same species? Hailstorm wondered.

Shadow knew it probably sounded strange to them, and made humans sound terrible, but he hoped it wouldn’t completely ruin what they thought of Jarid.

“Regardless. Going to a place that enslaves dragons doesn’t sound like a good idea,” Boulder commented.

“You should come with us instead!” Aurora added happily.

Shadow shook his head again. He knew it probably wasn’t a good idea, but he couldn’t imagine leaving Jarid behind. He would simply have to find some way of contacting his brother without getting caught. But even if he was caught, he was sure Jarid would find some way to save him.

“Sorry. I’m going to find my brother. Thank you for trying to help me find the other Night Wings. You have more than repaid me for helping you. You guys should go and find your families.”

“No.”

Tempest’s quiet but firm voice surprised the other dragonets. Shadow most of all. She was the last person he expected to want him in their group.

Tempest looked around the valley. This was such a great place. It was Shadow’s home, and now…

Those Flame Wings must have been able to find it because we stayed so long and left our scent everywhere. We couldn’t even help him find his parents. And now he’s lost his home for trying to help us.

“We can’t just abandon Shadow. His home was burned to ash because he tried to help us. We must help him find his brother. I can’t just leave him now. Um… I mean… this is just to repay our debt. Once we’ve helped him find his brother we can go our own way. I’m not doing this because of the prophecy either. It’s just…” She paused, slightly embarrassed.

Aurora’s face brightened and her eyes shimmered with a rainbow of color as she leapt forward to hug Tempest.

“Yay! I knew you could be nice if you tried Tempest!”

“Hey! It’s not like I hate everyone. I just want to be careful who we trust. And Shadow hasn’t done anything to make me doubt him… yet. So, I think it is ok to help him a little.”

Hailstorm laughed and put a wing around Tempest. “Besides. There’s six of us here and it’s not like slightly bigger versions of Kaida would give us too much trouble.”

I’ll get to see more humans? Count me in! Maybe I’ll get to see their village! If Shadow’s human can speak dragon… Oooh! I wonder what kinds of cool things he can tell me that I’ve never heard about before. Wait! No dragon has probably ever got to talk to a human before. I bet there’s so much I could learn about humans that no dragon has ever known before! Oooh, I can’t wait!

Shadow smiled. At least someone was potentially excited to see his brother. Though not all of them were thrilled about the idea.

Gale was sitting nervously a little ways away from the group. His light grey scales caused him to blend in with the ash around him, however his thoughts were so loud Shadow couldn’t help but notice.

Why does everyone want to go to such a scary place? We almost lost Aurora. We barely got out of there by pure luck. How could they ever want to do something like that again? Let him go if he wants to see his human so bad.

We should just stick to dragon territory where it’s safe. If these humans capture dragons then isn’t going there the worst idea? Why can’t they see that? I don’t want to go! They might hurt me. They might hurt Aurora or someone else. What if it’s all my fault again?!

I don’t want to go!

Shadow could see his wings trembling as his tail twitched nervously. Then he noticed Boulder walking up to him. Shadow had completely missed what they had been saying as he was so focused on Gale.

“Hey Gale. We’re going to help Shadow find his brother. Does that sound good to you?”

Gale looked up at Boulder with a forced smile. “Sure. Sounds like fun,” he quipped as he tried to sound confident.

Shadow felt a bit bad for him and he did worry that the dragonets would be going into more danger for his sake, but deep down he desperately wanted their company on this journey. He knew he was probably a terrible dragon for wanting something that would put his friends in danger, but he was scared to go without them.

“Thanks guys.” Shadow replied with a relieved smile accompanied by a pang of guilt.

Shadow was about to take off, eager to get away from the ashes of Dragon Valley, but suddenly he heard another small voice in his head.

Will somebody please tell me what’s going on?! They seem to be all happy for some reason. What could’ve happened?

It was Kaida.

Shadow quickly turned to the little human girl. “Sorry Kaida. I… Uh, we, are going to find my brother. Thank you for saving this bag of Jarid’s things. If Jarid comes home could you leave him a message saying that I went to find him at Dragon Rider Academy?”

“I guess so. But what if someone tries to hurt you?”

Shadow smiled softly. Even Jarid’s cousin was concerned about him.

“I’ll be fine. One way or another I’m going to find Jarid. And if I’m in trouble I know that he will rescue me.”

Kaida nodded determinedly. “Yeah. Big cousin Jarid is amazing!”

Shadow smiled proudly and nodded. Then he turned to the other dragonets.

“Are you ready?”

They all nodded except for Gale who got up with a resigned sigh.

Oh, great White Dragon. Please don’t let us be harmed because of this. I can’t stand to lose anyone else.

Shadow wasn’t sure how the great White Dragon could help but he nodded back before turning to Kaida one final time.

“Goodbye Kaida. I hope to see you again some day.”

Then Shadow waved goodbye as he slowly flew upwards followed by the rest of the dragonets.

Kaida waved back until they were out of sight.

Shadow felt a pang of sorrow as the smoke rising from Dragon Valley faded into the distance. His old life had gone up in flames and now he had no choice but to push forward and hope he could find Jarid.

They soon left the forest behind as they headed inland. Below there were grassy plains and hills dotted with trees. Small rivers and streams weaved their way across the landscape. After sitting in the ash and smoke of Dragon Valley, the air seemed clear and fresh as the group vaguely followed the road below.

Tempest looked over her shoulder at Shadow. “You know where to go right?”

Shadow nodded. “We have to go north until we reach the mountains. The academy is somewhere near the center of the mountain range. Jarid didn’t know the exact location, but it shouldn’t be too hard to find. Once we reach the mountains, we just have to follow the road leading through and we should eventually reach the academy.”

Hailstorm glided a little closer. “Do humans not use maps?”

Shadow shook his head. “They do. However, Jarid is from a low born family and not many people know where the academy actually is.”

Now that he thought of it. Jarid had once showed him a map of the continent. The mountain range had looked pretty small on the map Jarid had showed him, but then again he also remembered the Mountains of Rain and Night seeming small as well.

Gale suddenly zoomed by right in front of him. Shadow jerked back with a small cry of surprise as Gale laughed.

“Ha! You should have seen your face! Come on. Try to catch me,” he taunted as he soared teasingly in front of Shadow.

“Stop fooling around Gale!” Tempested roared. He’s gonna smack into someone one of these days. I hope it hurts. Maybe then it’ll teach him a lesson.

But Gale just smirked at her. “Have to catch me first,” he called as he rocketed forward. Tempest sighed in annoyance before giving chase.

Gale was fast and rolled out of the way just in time with a laugh. The two chased each other through the sky as Tempest grew more and more frustrated trying to grab the flighty little dragon. Though Shadow noticed an undertone of warmth in her thoughts.

Aurora giggled a bit. She was thinking about how it reminded her of when they fought in their cave. Gale couldn’t escape in the small cave but out here it was completely different.

Shadow was surprised by the change in Gale. Just a few minutes earlier he had been almost crying about not wanting to go but now he was playing around with Tempest as if he didn’t have a care in the world.

As they continued flying they passed over many small human settlements everyone was fascinated the first time, but after the fifth or sixth most of the dragonets began to ignore them.

Except for Hailstorm.

Every time they flew over a town he would fly over to Shadow and excitedly ask about it. Shadow tried to answer all his questions but there were many things he didn’t know. Now they were coming up on a large city with a castle at its center and Shadow braced himself as Hailstorm excitedly flapped his wings to catch up with him.

“What is that? I didn’t think human villages could be so big.”

“I bet the Storm Wing palace is bigger though,” Tempest dismissed.

Perhaps. But this city is just a fraction of the size of the capital. Shadow thought. But he didn’t want to start an argument, so he didn’t say anything.

Hailstorm started to ask him what the different devices on the walls were and what the different areas of the city were called but Shadow cut off his questions.

“Sorry Hailstorm but I don’t know. Neither me nor Jarid have been to a big city like this before.”

Hailstorm looked a little disappointed but only for a moment. Then Shadow noticed the lords castle on one end of the city and pointed to it. “One thing I do know is that building over there is called a castle. It’s where the lord of this land lives.”

“Is he the ruler of the human tribe?”

Shadow shook his head. “No. The king rules over all humans but a lord rules a small part of their land and gets orders from the king.”

This idea seemed to fascinate the dragonets, and they all talked about it until they reached the entrance to the mountain range containing Dragon Rider Academy. Shadow didn’t remember the human name for them and the dragons referred to them as the Bare Peak mountains.

They landed to rest their wings in a densely forested area nearby.

So far the journey had been easy, but the sharp peaks and cliffs of the mountains looked foreboding. Though not quite as intimidating as the Mountains of Rain and Night. They had learned from their previous experience that the winds higher up in the mountains were unpredictable and could even push them down. Thus, it was easier to fly lower in the valleys.

Unfortunately, this meant they would be closer to the road where humans were more likely to spot them, and the danger would only increase as they got closer to Dragon Rider Academy. Shadow was sure that dragon hunters would be more common the closer they got and he doubted any of them would turn down the chance to hunt a few foolish dragonets on their doorstep.

“Hey guys. We need to be extra careful from now on. These mountains are probably full of dragon hunters and if we aren’t careful we could get captured or worse.”

The others nodded. “If any of those humans try to hurt you guys I’ll tear it apart with my talons.” Tempest growled.

Her statement was likely meant to be comforting but it still made Shadow a bit uncomfortable.

It was getting late, and Shadow was about to groan at the thought of sleeping on another hard stone cliff when Aurora spoke up.

“He guys? I think it’s getting late so we could rest here tonight. We can try to go through the mountains tomorrow.”

Shadow quickly supported the idea. “I agree let’s wait. Meanwhile I’ll go try to find some food.”

Tempest nodded. “Hailstorm can go with you.”

Hailstorm groaned. “Why me?”

“Because Aurora and Boulder went this morning. Next time Gale and I can get the food.”

Hailstorm sighed. “Come on. Let’s go.” He glanced at Shadow as he leapt into the sky and Shadow quickly joined him.

They saw nothing on the rocky sides of the mountains, so they flew low over the forest. Shadow smelled something like fresh blood and called to Hailstorm. They followed the trail and came upon the remains of a deer. It looked like wolves had been eating it, but Shadow noticed an arrow sticking out of its shoulder.

Both Shadow and Hailstorm preferred catching their own prey and left it. By the time they had each caught enough small game and deer for everyone the last feint glow of the sun had disappeared. They were flying home across the star strewn sky when Shadow smelled smoke and meat. He knew what that meant. 

Humans.

He had nearly stumbled into a group of hunters one night when he was younger and didn’t know if Hailstorm would know what the smell meant. He quickly came up beside him and whispered in his ear.

“Hailstorm.”

Hailstorm jumped, which looked a bit silly mid air as his legs pushed off nothing. “Sorry, it’s hard to see you in the dark and I barely heard you.”

By the White Dragon’s tail that’s creepy.

Shadow didn’t see how a white dragon’s tail had anything to do with it.

“I think I smelled humans in the forest and I’m going to go take a look. If they are too close they might find us by accident. You go warn the others.”

Hailstorm shook his head. “I can’t let you go alone. What if they hear you and attack? We will both go and see what they’re up too. Then we’ll head back and tell the others.”

Shadow was grateful to have him along, but he didn’t want to get both of them in trouble if he was discovered.

“Alright. You watch for anyone outside the camp in case they get behind us. I’ll see if I can hear what they’re saying so we can determine whether or not it’s safe to stay in the forest tonight.”

Hailstorm nodded and followed close behind as Shadow trailed the smell of smoke. Soon they could see a light flickering between the trees.

Shadow landed and began creeping along the forest floor. In a few minutes he could hear the sound of human voices up ahead. He stopped Hailstorm and motioned for him to wait as he continued forward. He crawled slowly closer until he could make out what they were saying both with their voices and minds. He hid under a large bush and listened closely.

“Hey! This leg is all burnt on this side. If you left it any longer it’d probably be ash!” One shouted while thinking. I really can’t wait till this delivery is over so I can get some food cooked by a real chief. Not some dirty thug who never cooked a day in his life.

Another voice responded. “If you hate it so much cook your own dam food. Just eat what you can and give the rest to the merchandise.” At least they won’t complain.

Most of the other people were either asleep or thinking of what they would do after their journey was over. One person however was saying nothing, but her thoughts were louder than anyone else at the camp. Shadow focused on her and suddenly waves of fear and despair washed over him. She seemed to be trying desperately to calm down, but her mind was in chaos.

Why me? Why me? Did I do something wrong? What are they going to do to me? Where’s mommy? Daddy? Help me someone please! What’s happening? Why me? Why me?

It took great effort for Shadow to pull himself out of her thoughts, and even after shutting her out, her despair clung to his mind like a slimy cloak. Then he realised who these people were.

Slave traders.

You can earn up to 425 points for reviewing this work. The amount of points you earn is based on the length of the review. To ensure you receive the maximum possible points, please spend time writing your review.

Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
387 Reviews

Points: 81014
Reviews: 387

Donate
Wed Sep 18, 2024 4:18 pm
View Likes
RavenAkuma wrote a review...



Hello, My Friend!

FINALLY, I managed to show up! XD Admittedly, part of the delay was catching up and regrounding myself since it's been some time, and sheesh, I almost forgot about that wild cliffhanger!!

Anyway, I hope you're doing well! It's me, Raven, and I'd like to review the next chapter in this great story using my Familiar method! As a little heads-up, I am using a slightly new tactic in reviewing to help me get back in the game -and I can swap to the typical Raven-review chaos if it's not to your liking, haha. Let's dive in, shall we? Heh heh heh...

What The Black Eyes See...

This was great! Despite the shock of the attack on Dragon Valley, it seems like Shadow is really picking himself up and is ready to set out to the one place (or rather, the one person) who will know what to do in this situation. And seeing the dragonets willing to help him despite the danger is such a great thing and shows that Shadow really is becoming a bigger part of the group than he thinks! Let's get into the details though.

Where The Dagger Points...

Descriptions and Setting: This wasn't bad by any means! Although on a long journey, especially from the perspective of these dragonets who aren't so familiar with this world, I feel like it'd have been nice to include some richer descriptions. Like, for example, perhaps mentioning some key features of the villages and the city? But that's neither here nor there; you still get a solid idea of where the characters are throughout the story and that's all that really matters!

Of course, this is just my opinion and I am not a professional, so please always take my advice with a grain of salt. The chapter was still great!!

Why The Grin Widened...

Plot and Pacing: You did great here! I like how they're close to the academy by now, but not quite, and they've encountered yet another obstacle. It made for great pacing --the characters made a lot of progress, but nothing felt rushed! Great work!!

Characterization: INCREDIBLE!!! The first thing I noticed was one of my continued favorites, Tempest! For her to show such a deep understanding and sympathy toward Shadow, even taking some of the blame for what happened to Dragon Valley...Even if the bulk of that dialogue was in her own head, I thought that was an amazing character moment for her. I think it speaks to how the shocking events are already changing the characters -for better or worse. Perhaps after nearly losing Aurora, only to find out that their home was burned and Quake dead, Tempest is being forced to realize that Shadow is not their enemy, and surely learning to value life more? Fascinating...

As for Shadow, you really pick up a sense of...well, not helplessness, but a sense that he really has no other choice but to just press on and find Jarid. The home of the Night Wings failed, Dragon Valley is gone...I guess the point is that despite the drastic measures, it's very hard to look at this and say 'oh what a terrible decision,' because there's not any better alternative. And knowing that, it's easy to empathize with him and worry about his looming fate.

The final two who really stood out in this chapter were Gale and Hailstorm. The latter seems extremely curious the further they go into human territory, and it makes you wonder if that curiosity may lead him into trouble around the academy (a place with a ton of human knowledge but an equal amount of terror lying in wait for dragonets). So I am a little worried about him haha. As for Gale, --wow. In stark contrast to Tempest who seems to be channeling what happened in a more productive way, Gale seems to be taking his mistakes to heart. And knowing humiliation can be a very strong motive for characters to further divides and make bad decisions, I really worry about him as they enter this dangerous territory...But at the same time, I love this, it's such a great aspect of his character with many routes for development.

Grammar and Spelling: I didn't pick up anything that sticks out in this regard, so good job!

Reactions and Theories!: Ooo, theories...I'm not sure where to begin! I feel like there are SO many possible ways for the characters to go from here, and so many ways that could impact the others or even have a butterfly effect on the overarching story!! You really are great at keeping things unpredictable, haha!

As for reactions...

Shadow knew it probably sounded strange to them, and made humans sound terrible, but he hoped it wouldn’t completely ruin what they thought of Jarid.


I thought this was an interesting point to consider, since the reader knows that there are humans doing nefarious things including slavery and slave-like conditioning AS WELL AS dragons, including the mysterious dragon king, Scorch, and other potential followers. Perhaps as terrible as this is on either end, that could be used as a point of realization, to help a team of humans and dragons unite in the future...

Gale was sitting nervously a little ways away from the group. His light grey scales caused him to blend in with the ash around him, however his thoughts were so loud Shadow couldn’t help but notice.


I thought you did a good job portraying Gale and his thoughts here. It has some aggressive undertones, like maybe Gale could be subconsciously looking for a target to take out his frustrations on (and at least in his head, that target is Shadow). But it's subtle, as you get an even stronger sense that he's just really worried about protecting his friends.

Shadow didn’t see how a white dragon’s tail had anything to do with it.


I thought this was a good, little clue to show how Shadow may not be completely "in" with common dragon slang, being raised by a human, and may even point to a larger cultural disconnect since the "White Dragon" sounds like a sort of deity or icon to the average dragon. Cool!

Our Mad Thoughts...

Overall, that was a great chapter and I can't wait to see what the dragonets will find next! Great work!! :D

Image




dragonight9 says...


Thanks so much for the review, and it is really good to see one from you again. As for the review style... I'm not sure if it is better or worse yet.
I like how organized it is with the different sections focusing on different aspects but it will take a few more for me to tell. So far I'm leaning towards better though, so great job!

I do agree that I could add more descriptions but the chapter was already longer than what I normally like. I just really liked the ending of this one to be a cool reveal like "slave traders"



RavenAkuma says...


No problem, and good to know! (and I totally get it on length -it can be hard to balance lol). :D




Life’s disappointments are harder to take if you don’t know any swear words.
— Bill Watterson