Shadow breathed in the fresh morning air and stretched his wings as he stepped out of the cave. He shook himself a bit and looked down at one talon, opening and closing it slowly. He could feel his body growing more sluggish, like every scale had doubled in weight.
Tapping his tail on the ground he decided to just ignore it for now. He trusted Aurora, Boulder and the others. They would be back with the cure in no time.
Today was the start of his plan to help Airel realise how amazing dragons were, but to do that he’d need some help. Shadow glanced back to see Tempest yawning in the bright morning light.
“Morning Shadow. How are you feeling?”
Shadow shrugged. “A little sluggish but it’s not too bad. Anyway, I was wondering if you could help me with something.”
“Yeah? What is it?” Please let it be something where I can stretch my wings.
“I would like you to fly around with that dragon girl on your back for a bit.”
Tempest froze, wondering if she had misheard. “What?”
“Yeah,” Shadow smiled. “Bright mornings like this are perfect for scenic flying.”
Does he really think I would EVER let one of those furless monkeys climb onto my back?! Does he have no pride in being a dragon at all? Tempest bristled at first but quickly calmed herself with a deep breath. But I guess Aurora did say to stop punching dragons in the face when they suggest something stupid.
“Why do you want me to do that?” She asked with a strained smile.
Shadow was a little taken aback by her response. He didn’t think she would agree right away but she was quite scary when she was mad.
“Oh, um… because I wanted to show her how amazing dragons were,” he replied timidly. “I thought that if she could feel what it was like to fly with a dragon, then she would realize how amazing we were. Sorry, but since I can’t fly well right now, I hoped you might do it. But if you really don’t want to…”
Tempested sighed again as she scratched her head. “I never said I wouldn’t do it. You just surprised me is all.”
I suppose he does have some dragon pride. In a weird kind of way. Urgh. That face he’s making is so pitiful. I know I’ll feel terrible if I don’t do it now. Argh!
Tempest’s tail slapped the ground in annoyance. “Fine! I’ll do it. But don’t blame me if she falls off on her own.”
Shadow’s face brightened immediately. “Of course! Thanks Tempest!” He beamed at her. “I will go ask her. Just wait right here.”
Shadow might have skipped down the path if his body didn’t feel like he’d eaten a whole elephant. Now I just have to get Airel to agree. Then she will find out how amazing dragons are, and we can be friends!
Shadow could feel Airel’s mind faintly as he went down the path, but strangely she wasn’t at Dain’s house. Shadow wandered off in the direction of her thoughts. The trees were quite dense on this part of the mountain, so he was quite close before he actually caught sight of her. She seemed to be annoyed and was muttering to herself about why it was so hard for a warrior like her to use an axe.
As Shadow approached, he could see the reason for her frustration as the tree she was swinging at had a wedge shape cut almost a third of the way into it while she was drenched in sweat. As Shadow came up behind her, she raised the axe for another swing at the tree.
“Hi Aire-”
Shadow ducked as Airel let out an uncharacteristically girlish scream, while spinning around mid swing. The axe whistled over Shadow’s head as he cried in fright, covering his head with his talons.
“Wha-What are you doing here!?” Airel exclaimed, brandishing the axe. “Don’t you know it’s rude to sneak up on people? Especially when they have something sharp in their hands!”
“Sorry!” Shadow apologised as he heard a brief thought from Airel.
Thank goodness I didn’t hit him. It still puts me on edge having loose dragons just walking around.
Airel sighed and set the axe down against the tree she had been chopping.
“Well? I hope you didn’t come out here just to scare me.”
Shadow nodded as he slowly stood back up. His scales were still tingling slightly after his close call.
“Sorry again for that. I didn’t mean to sneak up on you. I was actually coming over to ask if you wanted to experience flying on a dragon’s back. If you knew what it was like, then maybe you wouldn’t be so scared of us.”
“Ha! Scared? I’m a dragon RIDER. I would never be scared of a dragon. Especially not a…” she stopped her mouth, but her mind couldn’t help but finish the thought. Especially not a Night Wing.
It stung a little for Shadow, but it was also a great opportunity.
“Well, if that’s true then I suppose you will agree to a brief flight around the valley?”
“Well…” Airel hesitated briefly. It should be fine. It’s not like I haven’t done this before. Maybe… No. I’ll be fine. It’s just a quick flight. What could go wrong?
“Alright. Just a short flight should be fine. I was getting pretty bored of chipping away at this tree anyway.”
Shadow looked a bit more closely at the tree and saw that it was almost at the point of giving up. He smiled. This was the perfect chance to show Airel how helpful and strong dragons were by knocking down the tree for her.
As he turned to leave, Shadow whipped his tail into the weak spot of the tree. It creaked and groaned as it collapsed with a crash. Shadow smiled proudly, but when he turned to lead the way, he was met with a brief frustrated look from Airel.
I was going to finish that; she grumbled in her head as she followed close behind.
Shadow didn’t understand why she was upset. He was only trying to help her.
By the time they got back to Tempest, Shadow was almost giddy with excitement once more as he thought about how Airel would react to flying on a dragon. He waved a wing at Tempest as she came into view. Tempest waved back but her eyes were on the human walking beside him.
I can’t believe that scaleless ape is going to sit on my back. I bet it’s going to squirm and stick to me. Eww.
Meanwhile Shadow also heard Airel’s reaction to seeing Tempest waiting for them. Wait. That dragon is going to be the one flying with me on its back? I thought he was going to… but I guess he can’t because of the poison. Argh, why didn’t I think of that before agreeing to this?
But Shadow wasn’t about to stop just because Airel didn’t want to now. He was sure that if they just took a gentle, easy flight, both of them would understand how amazing it was for dragons and humans to fly together.
Tempest begrudgingly laid down as Shadow helped Airel sit on Tempest’s shoulders. He then instructed Airel on how to ride a dragon.
“With your legs hooked under Tempest’s wings, you just squeeze with your knees to hold on. If you ever feel like you’re slipping forward just brace your hands against her neck but try not to wrap them around her neck or you might choke her.”
Airel seemed a bit nervous but nodded. Ok. I’ve got this. This is fine. It’s fine.
Tempest also seemed a bit uncomfortable and shrugged her shoulders as Airel settled in. Shadow switched to dragon to give her a few tips as well.
“Airel will probably be a bit nervous at first so go slow. If she falls, don’t panic. Just dive with her until you’ve caught up, then grab her and swoop up.”
“Yeah. Let’s just get this over with,” Tempest sighed.
Shadow nodded. “Are you ready?” he asked both dragon and rider. Both nodded their agreement.
“Then go ahead and have some fun!”
Tempest jumped up and started flapping her wings to gain altitude. She moved a little slower than usual, but Shadow still felt a jolt of panic run through Airel as she was catapulted into the air.
I’m fine, I’m fine! It’s just like with Lt. Rilliam. The dragon is just flying itself this time. That’s all. Oh, I’m going to be sick.
Shadow chuckled a bit to himself at that. Jarid had also gotten airsick the first few times they flew together. It was a bit weird watching someone else flying while he was stuck on the ground. Perhaps this was how Jarid felt whenever Shadow flew on his own while he watched.
Shadow couldn’t see very well what was going on as they rose higher, but he could still hear their thoughts clearly. Then he noticed Tempest shake a little. Perhaps there had been a stray gust of wind, but she easily recovered. Unfortunately, it was enough to send Airel into a panic.
What is she doing! Is she trying to shake me off? I’m going to fall! In her panicked state she looked for the first thing she could grab onto which happened to be Tempest’s horns.
She latched onto them and held tightly. Tempest growled in annoyance but didn’t swat her away immediately. Shadow breathed a sigh of relief as they continued on for a while like this. Airel was able to calm down somewhat, but she still didn’t quite know what to do with herself.
I don’t have a mind stone with me to communicate my thoughts, so how to I steer this thing? Hmm. Maybe I can do it like a horse by pulling its head.
Shadow barely had a moment to cringe at the idea before he heard Tempest roar in protest.
Hey! Stop trying to rip my horns off you ape! Let go!
Shadow couldn’t make out what was going on exactly, but he felt the panic in Airel again as her hands were forced off Tempest’s horns. Without thinking she wrapped her arms tightly around Tempest’s neck.
I-I can’t breathe! Is this human trying to get us both killed?! Get… Off!
Shadow could feel his own heart clench in his chest as he watched Tempest start falling, wings flapping erratically in all directions. Then he felt Airel’s terror reach new heights as she was thrown from Tempest’s back.
Shadow tried to fly up to catch her, but he was just too heavy and could do nothing but watch helplessly as Airel hurtled towards the trees below.
Tempest recovered and shook herself before diving after the falling girl. Shadow heard his advice echo through her mind as she tried to catch up. Tempest reached Airel just as they disappeared from view over the treetops.
Shadow moved as fast as he could in the direction of the crash. He couldn’t hear any clear thoughts from them, but he could still feel their minds which was a good sign. Soon he saw Tempest stumbling towards him through the trees.
“What happened?” Shadow asked worriedly.
“Your human friend happened. That’s what,” Tempest hissed. “She is fine, but don’t you even think about asking me to try that again,” she growled as she pushed past him.
A little further away Airel was laying in a dragon sized dent in the ground. It looked like the branches had slowed them down while a large bush broke their fall. Airel had a few scratches and was bleeding a little but otherwise unharmed.
Shadow was relieved but upon seeing him Shadow felt another burst of panic in Airel’s mind as she scrambled to her feet and ran in the direction of Dain’s house.
Shadow sat there for a while wondering how it all went so wrong.
How can I make Airel trust dragons now? Why did I try to force Tempest to take her? Now that I think about it, I might have just ruined Tempest’s perception of humans too. It was so stupid and selfish of me to think that I could make them friends just by making them fly together. I didn’t even consider how they felt.
I’m sure Jarid would have considered at least that much. Now they almost got seriously hurt because of me. Airel would have died if Tempest didn’t catch her. I couldn’t even save Jarid’s friend when she needed me.
He remembered how he had jokingly told Jarid that he wouldn’t be able to save him since he was so far away. Shadow couldn’t help the tears that ran down his face as he chuckled at how pathetic of a dragon he was. He couldn’t even save someone right in front of him.
Over the next few days Shadow mostly stayed in the cave. Wallowing in his depressed thoughts as the poison sank deeper into his body. Strangely, it didn’t seem to affect his mind reading powers very much. His body was a different story, however. Standing up felt like he was lifting Boulder and Tempest on his back while each step felt like dragging his talons through lead mud.
Tempest didn’t speak to him much but from her thoughts he could tell that her anger had rapidly diminished. She didn’t blame him for what happened, but that didn’t stop Shadow from blaming himself.
It had been almost a week now since Airel arrived and Shadow hoped he could at least say goodbye to her before she left. He had also been hoping to introduce her to the other dragonets but that probably wasn’t going to happen now.
Shadow finished the goat Tempest hunted for him that morning and stood with all the strength he could muster, before shakily making his way to the door. Tempest noticed him moving and came alongside him.
“Where are you going? Shouldn’t you stay put until the others get back with the cure for that poison?”
Shadow smiled weakly at her. There was little he wanted more than to lay back down and wait for the dragonets to return, but if he waited, he might be too late.
“I want to say goodbye to Airel and apologise for forcing you both to fly together.”
Tempest scoffed and threw his wing over her so she could support him. “That was as much my fault as yours. I should have just kept my cool instead of panicking to get her greasy human hands off me.”
Shadow laughed hoarsely. “They do have greasy hands, don’t they?” Then he looked down as he wondered about how she was able to forgive him after he had put her life in danger like that.
Tempest nudged him. “Hey. This isn’t the way to Dain’s house, is it?”
Shadow realised that he had simply been walking in the direction he could feel Airel’s mind from.
“Oh… Um, yes. I… I could just hear her over this way.”
Tempest shrugged. “Alright then.”
Tempest was about to continue speaking when Shadow realised that he could feel more than just Airel’s mind in the direction they were heading. If he focused hard, he could sense at least 30 minds, probably more but it was hard to tell. And Airel was right next to them!
Shadow stopped walking making Tempest pause. “Are you alright?” she asked, but Shadow quickly held up a talon to quiet her as he listened hard.
I was asking where you thought you were goin miss. You seem a long way from the academy, aren’t ya? A male voice spoke.
I was just on the lookout for some scum like you. Airel replied. Her anger covering the fear welling up inside her.
The last little girl we caught seems to have run away. Care to take her place noble lady? Heh, heh. Another man laughed.
Shadow’s eyes widened in shock. The slavers from before were here. And they were about to capture Airel!
End of chapter
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Ahhh forgive me. I didn’t know there were Book 4 chapters still left in the Green Room, otherwise I would have started with those!
And they deal with Shadow’s backstory. I was wondering why you were so relucatant to talk abt what happened to Shadow in Book 5. You probably felt like “I talked about all this one book earlier, no need to describe it further” but that’s wrong-think! Each book is its own contained story and has its own emotional impacts. Jarid doesn’t know what happened that’s why you really need to see this from his perspective and how his lack of curiosity abt what exactly happened and his lack of decisive action reflects on HIM.
…Yes I realise I am STILL bitter. What have you done. I’m invested in this character even before I read something about him.
Well, let’s change that. Onto the review proper xd
Ohh this is how Shadow knows Ariel. I am looking forward to see how this part goes! Already I like the descriptions in the beginning. It’s perfectly alright for getting immersed :3
Okay, maybe you can explain, why is there a line in italics after Tempest asks abt the task Shadow has for him. My hypothesises: a) Shadow has telepathy and reads Tempest’s mind. b) Dragons in general have telepathy and can talk out loud or silently, depending on their mood c) Shadow interprets this meaning into the line.
Hm new hypothesis dropped: Headhopping? That’s … ah well.
I like that Shadow is so focused on making a new friend. It’s endearing. (Jariddddd as if I needed more reason to be disappointed in you!)
Ohh it might be Shadow as a secret telepath after all. I love myself some telepathy btw. This is fun to figure out!
YES it’s telepathy. I am so happy!
New fun mystery to solve: How are they communicating with Airel. Let’s see: a) Shadow speaks a language she understands b) he can also communicate with Telepathy c) secretly, Airel knows dragon language. [Can you tell I’m in a good mood bc Shadow? XD]
Oh no Shadow, I can see this going terribly wrong: “ This was the perfect chance to show Airel how helpful and strong dragons were by knocking down the tree for her.“ It could be misinterpreted in so many ways @.@
And yeeepp, she thinks he’s showing off and upstaging her ☹
I’m curious abt the fact that Airel calls herself a dragon rider and yet apparently has never flown on a dragon?
Poor baby, he had the right idea but probably the wrong dragon. Tempest seems incredibly independent and proud. A more gentle soul like Shadow seems to be would have probably done the trick. (Also someone who’s a telepath. That’s also critical xd)
And poorer baby, you’re currently poisoned, you try so hard. I love him. *turns to author* How can you deprive me of him in book 5. I can never recover from this!!!
I’m having the worrisome thought that Shadow recovering from this poison thing made him much easier to capture…
Oh oh. 30 ppl against Airel? Please don’t let that be the moment Shadow gets captured. He still hasn’t received the cure!!
PS:
Hey so I’ve been thinking that a recap of all of this would be excellent for book 5. It would also be a good reminder of the relationship between Airel and Jarid in how she describes this to him and what he makes of it as a reaction.
Just so you know, Shadow's Rising is all one book with six parts. All of them are available on my profile (under Portfolio), so if you are enjoying reading, I would suggest you read from the start (even if you don't review). That would help a lot.
I have been trying to do a small recap at the start of each Wing since each one shifts between the perspectives of Shadow and Jarid (with Jarid being 1,3,5 and Shadow being 2,4,6). Mostly descriptions and the characters in the same situation in which they left off the last chapter. Or thinking back on what's happened since we last caught up with them.
Hello, My Friend!
Hi, Dragon! It’s me, Raven, and I’m here to review the next chapter in this great story, using my Familiar method! Let’s dive right in, shall we?
~ A full analysis and breakdown
Man, it's good to be diving back into this story, and what a great place to pick up from! The flight with Tempest was somehow both better and worse than I expected--and that ending is such a shock!!! Let's get into the details though.
Plot and Pacing: Excellent! I loved the buildup to the flight. It wasn't too drawn-out or circular, and you found the perfect angle to get both Tempest and Airel to agree. I also like how the flight is told through Shadow's mind-reading perspective, as I feel like there's more tension when Shadow can hear things going wrong but can't see it. And of course, another shocking cliffhanger ending to twist the somber mood and immediately push you into the next chapter!
Descriptions and Setting: Great! There wasn't much change in terms of setting so I can't complain, and there were plenty of key notes to keep the reader grounded wherever the characters were.
Action: You did a great job writing out how the flight went, with Airel's panic kicking in and Tempest--a complete novice to dragon riding--not really knowing what to do until Airel falls. Overall, everything that could've gone wrong went wrong, short of someone dying, yet I'm still left with the feeling that it could've been worse.
Characterization: Picking up from that last bit, I really like the direction taken with Tempest's character here! It looks like she's finally realizing that Shadow does have a sense of pride in being a dragon, just in a different manner than she would. It also feels like there's more trust between them at this point--I mean, during the flight, Tempest technically did everything right, or at least as was told to her, and didn't even hold it against Shadow when things went wrong. Overall, it feels like Tempest is more open to being Shadow's friend, just in her own defensive/stubborn way.
Likewise, I enjoyed the moment of reflection on Shadow's end, and Airel--oh man! I love the way she's written here. It feels like she wants to put on this brave, unshakable facade, but underneath, she's prone to fear as much as anybody else. And it feels like there is this desire to understand Jarid's philosophy, but whenever things get serious, she keeps retreating into this little bubble of seeing dragons as beasts to be controlled. It was a little depressing seeing her jump so quickly to the mind-controlling stone, and getting upset at Tempest when she was the one who messed the flight up. So many layers to this!
Grammar and Wording: I only caught one specific thing that I'll drop below. Otherwise, I think you're good here!
~ Some nitpicks and little recommendations
Not much to put here at all! Let’s break it down…
I think the "ed" needs to be taken off the end of "Tempest" here.
That’s all! Great writing job ~
~ My reactions, theories, and favorite parts
That cliffhanger--I'm imagining so many ways for this to go. For one, I'm wondering if a quick hand from Tempest and Shadow will help Airel come to trust dragons more, and with a bit more trust.
That aside, reaction time!
I found it interesting, even a bit ironic that the angle taken with Tempest and Airel are kind of similar. Both are based on a sense of pride in being what they are--a dragon vs a dragon rider. Yet with that pride, neither can see the other as someone on equal standings. It's a very interesting dynamic!
Okay, this line was actually handy in telling us how dragons like Tempest see humans, but it also made me laugh to myself haha.
I'll say it again--THAT ENDING!! O.O
MadThoughts...Overall, this was an awesome chapter and I can't wait to see where this leads! Nicely done!
And Merry Christmas!
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."
I'm so excited to see your reviews again, and I see your reviewing style has improved once more. I love the poems at the end.
Thanks for catching that type-O. I'll correct that quick. I'm so excited for you to see what happens next.
Thanks again for being such a consistent reviewer of my book. It makes me all the more excited to write and post on this site knowing there is someone who enjoys reading it.