When Shadow woke the next morning he started to get up but as he did, he heard a tired groan from beside him and remembered Asrial. Shadow carefully moved away till he could get up without disturbing her. Most of the other dragonets were just waking up as well.
Shadow decided it would be best if he went to gather some food for Asrial since he probably knew what humans could eat more than they did. Gale and Aurora were talking on one side of the clearing about the raid on the slavers. Shadow went over as they were finishing.
“…must have been scary,” Aurora gasped. Gale smiled and puffed out his chest.
“It was nothing. They couldn’t hurt me. I’m way too awesome.”
Aurora giggled. Then she noticed Shadow. “Hi Shadow. How did it go last night?”
Shadow didn’t want to talk about it. “I just flew in and released her, but she couldn’t run so I brought her here. Speaking of which, I want to go get some food for her as well as everyone else so while me and Gale go get some, could you watch over Asrial for me?”
“Is that the girl’s name?”
Shadow nodded.
“Sure thing!” Aurora agreed with a big smile. She was already imagining how much fun it would be to play with her. Gale sighed and spread his wings.
The two of them searched around the forest and Shadow was able to find a few blueberry bushes and a couple rabbits. On the way back they checked on the slavers and it looked like they had moved on. Then, as they continued, they saw movement in the forest below. It looked like the slaver’s group was going to pass right by where the others were in a little over an hour!
They rushed back and the whole group hurried through their meal, Shadow tried to cook one of the rabbits using his dragon fire, but it didn’t turn out well. Still, he brought enough blueberries to last for a while. As they prepared to leave, Shadow quickly explained what was going on to the confused Asrial and bent down to let her climb on his back, but she hesitated.
Of course! Shadow thought, mentally smacking himself on the forehead. She’s never ridden a dragon before.
Unfortunately, Shadow had no time to teach her, so he simply picked her up in his front talons. Asrial braced herself as Shadow took off. Her eyes shut tight in fear.
Shadow quickly joined the others in the sky and adjusted Asrial, so she was held comfortably in both his front and back talons.
They flew close to the mountains following the road and ducked into the trees or behind boulders whenever they saw someone on the track below. The road meandered through the mountains, following the valleys and rivers. A few times the road split and they had to choose which path to take. Some of them ended quickly at a logging or mining camp and they had to retrace their steps.
After flying for many hours, they reached one such dead end at an abandoned mining site and decided to rest for a while. They found a small cave where they would be out of the elements and entered with caution. After determining that there were no insects or bats nearby they laid down.
Asrial was feeling a little airsick, so Shadow went a little further back in the cave and let her lay down against his side while he rested. It didn’t take long for both of them to fall asleep once more.
Shadow dreamt of his time with Jarid. Playing in Dragon Valley like nothing had happened. Jarid’s smile shone brightly as the gentle breeze made the leaves rustle. The soft grass was so comforting as he ran towards Jarid with a laugh of pure joy.
But as he did so a strange voice called out to him. Shadow stopped in confusion. The voice was deep and unintelligible. Shadow looked to Jarid for answers, but he had disappeared. The deep voice continued its muffled mutterings as worry turned to fear in Shadow’s tightening chest. He could feel his heart drop as a wave of fire crashed over the valley. Shadow screamed in terror as the flames enveloped him and he was plunged into darkness.
Shadow’s eyes shot open, and the cold darkness of the cave greeted him. It was all a dream. Shadow breathed a sigh of relief and wondered if these nightmares were going to continue happening for a while. Then he noticed something. Something very wrong.
The voice from his dream. He could still hear it.
Now the voice was a lot clearer and seemed to be right beside him. Shadow looked over, talons trembling slightly in fear, to find a human. He was a little shorter and stockier than Jarid. He had a beard and mining hat on his head in addition to a large shield that looked reflective like a mirror slung over his shoulder.
He had no weapon but was carrying a human girl in his arms. Then Shadow realised the girl he was carrying was Asrial!
Shadow scrambled to his feet and leapt in between the man and the entrance to the cave with a warning growl.
The man moved quickly, placing the girl on the ground behind him and pulling the shield off his back at the same time.
“Dam. I thought I was quiet enough. Guess not.”
The man’s voice was gruff, but he didn’t seem like a slaver from what Shadow had heard about them. Mainly that they were cowards who only cared about themselves. The fact he didn’t bolt and instead tried to protect Asrial helped calm Shadow’s worries.
While he was still contemplating this, Asrial began to stir. “Huh? Shadow? Where…?”
Her eyes widened as she saw the man in front of her and Shadow growling at him.
“Don’t worry little girl. I’m going to get you out of here,” the man promised. Though his mind was simultaneously commenting on how unlikely accomplishing such a feat would be.
Shadow was about to try talking with the man before things escalated any further when he noticed something coming up behind the man from the dark of the cave. It was the strangest creature Shadow had ever seen. It looked like a mix between a dragon and a chicken and was about the size of a large human.
Its tail was thick and tipped with a spade while its wings were leathery with a few rotten feathers still clinging to it. It had no arms and bird-like talons for feet, but the most noticeable feature was its head. It had golden feathers that seamed to rot away as they went down its neck, it had a red frill on the top of its head and raven black feathers around its eyes. Then Shadow noticed that its eyes seemed to be glowing a deep blood red.
The moment Shadow caught its gaze, the creature let out a low hissing sound while fixing him with its sinister stare. Shadow felt like his entire body had seized up while a hot spike was slowly driven into his skull right between his eyes.
Shadow wanted to cry out in agony, but his mouth wasn’t working. All he could do was gag helplessly. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the man hurriedly cover Asrial with his shield.
“It’s a basilisk! Whatever you do don’t look into its eyes,” he whispered franticly. Then he noticed Shadow’s frozen state.
“The dragon has been caught in its gaze. Quickly. Let’s get out of here while we have the chance. Quietly though so we don’t wake the other dragons.”
He could hear them scrambling by and regretted forgetting to wake the other dragonets as tears formed in his eyes from the pain.
“Wait!” Asrial whispered urgently. “What is going to happen to him?”
“A basilisk can kill most creatures with a glance. Let’s be grateful the monster chose to target the dragon first.”
Am I going to die? Shadow thought as terror was heaped onto the pain searing through his brain. It certainly felt like his head was about to explode. Then another pain caused him to hiss and he turned around to find that Asrial had stomped on the sensitive part of his tail.
Shadow was about to ask why she would do that to him when a wave of relief washed over him as the sharp pain in his head began dissipating.
“What are you doing?!” The man cried as he quickly pulled the girl away.
Before Shadow had time to process what to do next he heard a cawing, hissing screech from behind him as a weight suddenly landed on his shoulders. He felt the basilisk’s talons digging into his sides and scratching at his back. Luckily most of the blows were blocked by his scales but just as he was about to swat at the creature it bit the soft flesh between his neck and shoulders.
Shadow roared in pain as the basilisk leapt off his back towards Asrial while letting out another hissing screech. Shadow was pushed down even as he tried to reach out and stop the evil monster from attacking her.
The man wasted no time stepping forward to block the monster with his shield. The basilisk landed on the ground and hissed at the man. The feathers on its neck raising as it did so. Suddenly the creature cried out in agony while shivering in place before collapsing to the ground and convulsing uncontrollably, until at last, it laid still.
For a moment Shadow laid there stunned but the man wasted no time. Grabbing Asrial’s wrist he turned to bolt for the entrance, but the commotion had woken the other dragonets, and they blocked his way. They all growled at him, and he raised his shield as he prepared to fight.
“WAIT!”
Asrial’s high pitched shout filled the cave and made Shadow wince. She hurried in front of the man and held up her hands.
“What are you doing girl?! Get behind me at once! Do you want to be eaten by these monsters?”
But Asrial shook her head. “These dragons are good, They helped me when I was captured by slavers and are trying to help me find a new home.”
The man looked at her sternly. “Even if they did take you from the clutches of such despicable men, they are not trying to help you. They are no more than beasts saving you to eat later. Now get behind me.”
Asrial refused. “No! They are my friends,” she declared determinedly.
“What are they saying?” Tempest growled.
Shadow had been so caught up in the human’s conversation he hadn’t realised the other dragonets didn’t know what was going on. He struggled to his feet, wincing as the bite on his neck ached and stung
“That human. He’s not bad. I think he was trying to rescue Asrial. Don’t attack for now and I’ll see if we can talk this out.” Then he switched to the human language just as the man grabbed Asrial’s arm to force her behind him.
“Wait! We are not your enemies.”
The man’s eyes widened in shock, and he stood frozen for a while. Then he gulped and turned to Shadow trembling. “You… D-did you just… talk?”
Shadow nodded. “I know it must be strange, but we don’t want to hurt you or that girl. So, can you please let her go?”
The man looked down at Asrial as if just realising he was still tightly holding her arm. He let her go and sat down against the cave wall with a hand to his forehead. Asrial rushed over and hugged Shadow’s arm while the other dragonets relaxed.
“Are you ok? That looks like it hurts,” Asrial commented while looking with concern at the bleeding basilisk bite.”
“It will be fine. I’m a dragon after all. A bite like this will heal in a week or two.” Shadow tried to comfort Asrial by spreading a wing over her while listening in on the man’s thoughts.
Well, either I’m going crazy or that dragon can talk. Who knew?
I may very well be the first person to ever talk to a dragon. Imagine that. This might just flip the world on its head. I’ve seen almost every dragon that passes through that dam academy, yet I never knew they were capable of this. Though I see now that I mostly just saw them as measurements and scale types.
That peaked Shadow’s interest. “Excuse me but, who are you, why are you here, and do you know anything about Dragon Rider Academy?”
The man stood up as if remembering his manners. “Right, sorry. My name is Dain Goibniu and I’m an armorer who lives in these mountains. I came up to this cave because I saw this little girl in your talons while searching for metals in the old mine and decided to rescue her.
“I brought along my mirror shield just in case I ran into a basilisk since this is their nesting ground. Their eyes can kill and seeing their own reflection is just as deadly.”
Shadow nodded as he looked at the still form of the
basilisk. He shuddered at how powerful and painful its ability was. He was glad
it was dead.
Then he turned to the other dragonets and explained everything.
“I am curious, about how you know of Dragon Rider Academy. Are you going to try to free the dragons held there?” Dain asked with a hint of concern.
Shadow sighed. “No. I have a friend who is human, and he went there to try to get a dragon riding licence so we can fly anywhere we want together. My friends are helping me find the academy so I can reunite with my friend,” Shadow said, gesturing to the other dragonets.
“So, what is your plan once you locate the academy?”
“I don’t know. I might be able to find him outside or signal him somehow. I honestly just thought I’d figure out what to do once I got there.”
Dain considered it for a moment then nodded. “Well, you’re in luck. My family has been making equipment like saddles, armor and the like for the academy for generations. Next time there is a delivery I will request that your friend come visit you.
“Until then. You can stay with me and hunt in the forest. I live on my own in a wooded part of the next valley over. No one will be able to find you there.”
Shadow couldn’t believe his luck. He quickly shared with the others. However, Tempest wasn’t so quick to believe Dain had no ill will.
“Do you really think this human would just help us for no reason? He might be trying to capture us.”
Shadow turned to Dain. “Why do you want to help us?”
Dain smiled and rubbed the back of his head it a slightly embarrassed fashion. “Well, I want to thank you for saving that girl. Plus, the idea of conversing with friendly dragons is quite enticing.” And maybe they’ll drop a few scales I can try making armor out of.
Shadow frowned. He might have believed Dain if he hadn’t heard his thoughts just know. Though he didn’t care about giving up a few scales. In fact, Jarid had packed the scales Shadow had shed as a hatchling in the travel pack.
Jarid had always taught him that it was a good idea to pay for one’s own food and shelter when possible, and to only accept free gifts from those he could trust, if they insisted.
“We couldn’t possibly stay at your home without compensating you. I have some extra scales I could offer as payment if you would like them.” Shadow reached for the pack he had set aside while laying down.
“Really?! I humbly accept,” Dain hurriedly agreed as he approached Shadow to receive the gift. This is perfect! What a generous dragon. Whoever his human friend is I’d better thank them for raising him so well.
Shadow smiled at the thought, but as he pulled the pack towards him, his shoulder suddenly flared up in pain as the bite wound tingled and burned. He dropped the pack and clutched his shoulder with a groan before laying down awkwardly on his side.
Now slightly concerned Dain rushed to inspect the wound. The other dragonets and Asrial also crowded around to look. Dain’s concerned look deepened as he inspected the wound. Shadow removed his hand and noticed a sickly green substance that smelled awful. As if someone had left prey in the hot sun for far too long. It wasn’t quite as bad as the disgusting mud pit he had jumped in, but it was close.
Dain looked at Shadow with a worried expression. That’s a lot of basilisk poison, but how much does it effect dragons? He was able to survive its gaze for almost 30 seconds more that most creatures so that would probably give him about a month.
“Shadow. I have bad news. It seems like the poison from the basilisk bite is making its way through your body. My best guess is that it will take a full month to run its course.”
“What do you mean, ‘run its course’?” Shadow asked, concerned.
Dain’s expression turned woeful.
“During the next month your body may heal outwardly but you will get slowly weaker and weaker until you... die.”
End of chapter
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Hello there, dragonight! Wolfi here for a review!
This is the first installment of this novel that I've read, so please take everything here with a grain of salt. In other words, take what's useful and forgo the rest!
This stands out to me as a spot where the pacing is a bit too quick. In your next draft of this chapter, I encourage you to extend the latter half in particular (seeing movement and discovering the slaver's group) to really establish a sense of tension. Otherwise the paragraph reads like a list of actions you'd find in the summary of the plot rather than the chapter itself, and it's more difficult for me to feel immersed in the urgency of the moment.
Haha! Adorable.
Up until this point, I thought that Shadow was just a human/humanoid with wings. Obviously that's because I haven't read any of the previous chapters, but still, I feel like it'd be a good idea to make the descriptions of the dragons' actions more... dragony. Later you write "talons trembling slightly in fear" and I love that. Tails twitching, nostrils puffing smoke, horns brushing against tree branches, scales gleaming... things like that! (Those examples are rather generic, aren't they - you would know best!)
Apologies if this was addressed earlier, but if they're flying, why do they need to stick to a road?
Terrifying!! Excellent sense of tension/alarm here, especially with the paragraph breaks.
The way he immediately and audibly gave up made me laugh. This guy has some serious gumption to sneak to the back of a cave filled with presumably sleeping dragons!
No kidding! I noticed that this last sentence here is a deviation from Shadow's POV (unless he has telepathy?), which feels a bit jarring since the rest of the chapter up until this point is from a limited POV.
What an excellent and chilling description!
Oh no!! Yikes!
OOO the mirror-surface shield killed it, didn't it! (I was about to type "Huh? How did it die??" and then I figured it out and now I feel very smart.)
Aha! You can go ahead and disregard my earlier POV comment. Very cool!
Wow, what a brave man! Not even a soldier or anyone hired to rescue her like I thought.
Haha! It's entertaining to witness him using his special power for good.
Nooo!
Clearly Dain knows a thing or two about basilisks since he brought the shield and anticipated one would be living in the cave, and it makes sense that he would understand the danger of the poison from experience. However, I'm still not convinced that he would know that the poison would eventually result in Shadow's death, nor that he would be able to calculate how long a big healthy dragon had to live. Even in Dain's thoughts we see him wondering how the poison would affect dragons. Maybe he's actually familiar with stories of basilisks killing dragons?
I genuinely LOVED this chapter! The pacing was definitely rough at the beginning but all the scenes in the cave were well fleshed out and immersive. I absolutely plan on revisiting this book if I see another chapter in the Green Room!
Keep up the great work!
Wolfi
Thanks for the review!
It can definitely be difficult to review a chapter from the middle of a book. Good on you for doing your best.
I definitely see your point about moving quickly there. I took it slow last chapter and needed to speed it up there to stay in the word/chapter count I set for myself. (but of course I'll keep it in mind)
I also agree that I should explain that Dain was guesstimating the time scale for Shadow's deterioration since I want a driving factor for the next few chapters.
May dragon fire continue to ignite the flames of your inspiration!
Aw, love that!
Hello Again, My Friend!
Back for more, I'm here to continue my review of this great book! Let's dive in, shall we? Heh heh heh...
What The Black Eyes See...
OH MAN! Oh jeez, that was a rollercoaster of a chapter! From Shadow's calm journey and dream, to Dain's appearance -a concerning but nonetheless fixable obstacle, and then that absolute monster and a descent into chaos! Let's get into the details though.
Where The Dagger Points...
I didn't really have anything to put here this time! Nicely done ~
Why The Grin Widened...
Plot and Pacing: No complaints! I thought the beginning felt a bit rushed at first, but seeing the rest of the chapter, I'm glad it didn't drag on and take away from the pure shock and awe to come! On that note, you did an incredible job with the buildup and tension, starting with just a bad dream, then a bad human encounter, and finally the basilisk and that gut-wrenching twist at the end! O.O
Descriptions and Setting: You did amazingly here! Not only did you captivate me with Shadow's dream and that feeling of tranquility, but the way you described the basilisk was so chilling. I thought Dain would be the worst of it, but the thought of that thing creeping out of the shadows...OH MAN, creepy!! Even with the way it was killed, and the poison, you absolutely nailed it!
Action: Great chapter for action! Mainly because it felt so different! The mirror shield was an awesome idea for killing off the creature, and the way you described how its gaze affected Shadow was fascinating. The pain sounded so intense that when Dain mentioned that people die from it, I just got goosebumps, wondering how and what would happen if Asrail hadn't stomped his tail (a great and believable save on her part!).
Characterization: Asrail really stepped up to the plate in this chapter! It was great to see her stand up for Shadow, even with Dain insisting they leave and the basilisk showing up! I thought it was a good way of showing her gratitude for being saved, and what better way to return the favor than to save Shadow too? Great moment for her ~
I was surprised that Dain, being associated with the academy, would be so open to taking in a dragon, especially a whole group. But then again, these are only dragonettes, he has Asrail's word, and the ulterior motive to get scales out of it made it more believable. I also have to keep reminding myself how these characters don't communicate with dragons, and communication is one of the biggest methods of understanding and -so to speak- humanizing a creature. So just hearing Shadow speak had to be a big turning moment for him, and that came through very well. Likewise, with the mention of "seeing them as scale types and measurements," it sounds like he may have had his own thoughts about how dragons are commonly treated.
And Shadow -NOOO, poor Shadow!! Reading that ending was such a sad moment! I am nervous yet also deeply curious how he'll take this information, and if anything can be done for him (there has to be, right? RIGHT??).
Grammar and Spelling: I didn't spot anything in this regard, so good job!
Reactions and Theories!: OH BOY, you left me a lot to think about with this one. Ah...I don't think Shadow will die -I mean, that would be a tragic yet intriguing twist for the end, and I do see some openings that may point to it being a possibility...but I just can't see it -there's got to be a prophetic significance to him that won't allow it. Even so, in the meantime, it sounds like things are going to be miserable for him, and I wonder exactly how deep this poison will bring him before something is done (IF it is...)
As for reactions...
This entire dream sequence was just...Ah, chef's kiss, incredible! I'm a sucker for dreams in stories because even if they're not prophetic or anything, there can be so much meaning behind them. In this case, you really get a feeling for Shadow's homesickness, and the trauma he's undoubtedly faced from seeing his home go up in flames. Not to mention, being uncertain about where Jarid is, in range of a dragon-trapping academy with hostile dragons behind them, Shadow has got to be feeling scared by now right?? (sorry if this seemed rambley -like I said, I love dreams!
Again, you did a great job with the basilisk introduction! The way it creeps out, the way Shadow's drawn to its gaze, the pain inflicted and its nasty attacks -all of it!
I had to put this here because again, NOOOOO! Man, reading the 'run its course' bit I was like, "he is not..." Then sure enough, it came up. Man, what devastating news!
Our
MadThoughts...Overall, that was a shocking twist of a chapter, from an unexpected source that shows us that the academy isn't the only place with danger! Great job!
I really wanted an exciting transition into the next big quest for the dragonets.
Those side, retrieve the medicine style, quests really make for great plot points to move the characters around don't they? Lol