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Shadow's Rising Chapter 11 (part 2)

by dragonight9


“What kind of monsters should we be wary of? Is there any that we should watch out for?” Hailstorm asked. Shadow knew that he’d probably already read about every dangerous monster on the whole continent, but it was still a good question. Shear smiled and nodded, grateful for the chance to prepare them as much as possible.

“There are a few nasty ones. The magic zones where dragons live are full of dangerous monsters and other creatures drawn there by the mana in the area. Dragons are no exception. Many tribes can live almost entirely off the magic in the air when inside one of these zones. We still need some actual food for nutrients, but mana gives us energy and charges our magic. Some monsters can exist entirely on mana alone. For example, in every tribe there are different elementals which are made of pure magic and whatever element happens to be around. There once was a time when ancient mages could make elementals but that was more than 200 years ago.”

Shadow was awed that such powerful dragons once existed. He wanted to ask about them but Shear had already moved on.

“Monsters are very different depending on where you go so I can’t say much about them. Some of the more common dangerous monsters are wyverns, which are small dragon-like flying creatures that hunt in packs and can easily overwhelm a dragon who wanders into their territory. Krakens and other large sea monsters can drag dragons underwater and drown them. Basilisks can kill anything that looks them in the eye for too long. In some places there are even brightly colored insects that can kill a dragon with poison from just one bite. In the Sky Wing magic zone there were massive terridons with wingspans twice that of a dragons who would dive down on unsuspecting dragons from above,” Shear shivered at the memory.

“So, until you know what dangerous creatures live in a magic zone be very careful. Especially since you aren’t full grown dragons yet,” she finished. Everyone nodded, trying to remember everything she’d said.

“C-can I wrap my arms around you?” Aurora asked sheepishly.

Shear smiled gently and nodded with a tear in her eye as she opened her wing to receive the hug. Aurora walked up and leaned in as she wrapped her arms around Shear’s neck and cried. The rest of the dragonets all crowded around Shear and hugged her together while Shadow stood off to one side awkwardly. Shear spread her arms and wings as far as they would go around the dragonets and squeezed them tight.

“No matter what happens I want you to know that I will always be your guardian. Even if the whole world turns against you, I will protect you. Now go and do what you have to do. Be free and support each other through the difficult times ahead.” She released them and looked back in the direction of the cave.

I wonder how I’ll explain this to the wings of protection. I doubt they’d accept that it felt wrong to keep them trapped in that dark cave any longer. Perhaps… She thought as she readied herself to take flight, but Shadow interrupted her.

“Wait! Shear I have an idea.” He said quickly. As he listened to her thoughts he’d looked around and found something that might solve her problem.

“Here take these.” He said offering her some white death berries he had found nearby.

“What are these?” Shear asked curiously as she took the berries.

“They’re called white death berries.”

Everyone looked at him with horrified faces.

“Wait, wait! They won’t kill you! If you have too many then they can kill a dragon, but a few of them will just put a dragon to sleep for a while. I used about ten to put Quake to sleep so six or seven should be enough for you to convince Quake and the Wings of Protection that you were knocked out just like Quake was.” Shadow explained. The shocked looks were replaced by concern and worry, but Shear smiled at Shadow and put a talon on his shoulder.

“Thank you. With these I won’t be blamed for your escape,” she said gratefully, understanding why Shadow was giving her the berries. Shadow nodded solemnly and Shear nodded back. Then she turned to the other dragonets.

“Take care of this one. There might be more to him than you realise,” she said glancing at Shadow and giving him a wink before taking a deep breath and launching into the sky to fly back to the cave.

Her last words sent Shadow’s mind into a whirlwind of questions. Did she know about his ability to read minds? Did she think he had some kind of future sight? Or was she simply saying that to encourage the dragonets to befriend him?

All these things swirled around in Shadow’s head along with the other dragonet’s thoughts that he was trying to ignore. He was so focused on what was going on inside his head he almost missed the talon on his shoulder.

“So, what are you doing to do now?” Boulder asked. Shadow shook himself. This wasn’t the time to worry about what Shear had meant. First he had to figure out what he was going to do now that the dragonets were free.

“I-I’m not sure. Until today I’ve always lived in the forest, hiding from everyone just in case they tried to kill me. I suppose I’ll just go back to dragon valley and wait for Jarid to return,” Shadow said with a shrug.

It felt strange to simply go back to his old day to day life now that he’d done something so exciting. His adventure had been short but enjoyable and he’d been able to help the dragonets. That was good. It would be a bit lonely without them though.

As he was thinking this Hailstorm walked up and started staring at him with a strange kind of strained face. Shadow was puzzled for a moment before he heard the flurry of thoughts streaming out of Hailstorm’s mind.

Hold back, don’t ask, he probably doesn’t want a lot of questions right now. What is dragon valley? How come he seems to know us if he’s never talked to a dragon before? No! Don’t ask! Don’t even think about asking who Jarid is or how he survived or what kind of powers Night wings have! He was nearly trembling as he tried to hold back all his questions.

“I’m sure you have a lot of questions. Just go one at a time and I’ll do my best to answer them.” Shadow said, smiling at how Hailstorm had to force himself not to ask questions. Hailstorm nodded and was able to calm down somewhat.

“Ok. First, how did you not get killed with all the other Night wings, and who raised you?”

“My mother was a princess in the Night wing kingdom but my father was not someone she was allowed to mate with and so she fled here in order to protect me. She was wounded and crashed here in the forest. Jarid found her there and my mother made him promise to raise me. She gave him the knowledge he needed to raise me along with my egg. Then Jarid hid as the dragons that had been chasing her arrived. They were about to kill my mother and Jarid tried to stop them, but they knocked him unconscious. In a rage my mother used her dying breath to slash the attacker in the face, but he turned and killed her right after. I hatched just as Jarid woke up and he raised me as his brother.” Shadow explained. The other dragonets had crowded around to hear his story and looked excited as he finished.

“Wow! That’s so cool! Your brother must have been so brave to try attacking a full grown dragon on his own like that.” Gale said excitedly.

“What kind of dragon is your brother?” Tempest asked. Then in dawned on Shadow that he had forgotten to mention that small detail.

“Oh, Jarid isn’t a dragon. He’s a human.”


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Sat Jan 13, 2024 5:01 pm
RavenAkuma wrote a review...



Hello again, my friend!

Back on YWS and ready to read, haha, I missed this story! I'm also really excited to see you posting more chapters to Wing 1. Anyway, time to break down this chapter:

I really liked this as a bridge in the story (Part 1 and Part 2 of this chapter), with more world-building and exposition as well as adorable character moments. The more thorough descriptions of the dragonets in part 1 felt well-delivered and much needed as Shadow sees them for himself, so -like him- we're seeing them in a new light. Likewise, their designs sounded really cool. The details, like Hailstorm's little ice spikes and Gale's more slender build, really provide some uniqueness between them. It also provides hints not just about their elements, but their physical strengths as well.

As freaking adorable as Aurora sounds, I also really liked picturing Boulder's golden-brown scales, and Tempest's interesting color palette and markings. One of those would be my personal favorite, but seriously, they were all awesome. Big points to you for character design ~

Likewise, everybody complimenting Aurora's scales, knowing she's becoming more self-conscious about her role, was just such an adorable moment. The little moments like that are just the perfect "topping" for these chapters, to feel like the characters are being brought closer together and functioning as a team. And from Shadow's perspective, being more flustered about noticing her was too cute, just seeing his little crush for the first time.

Shear's last goodbye, and Shadow helping keep her out of trouble, were both really touching moments and created the perfect note for them to leave off on. Likewise, the glance into the kind of monsters that exist in this world gave a sense of tension, and made me curious to know how they'll be incorporated later in the story.

And lastly, great way to end the chapter. It leaves the reader eager to know how the dragonets will respond to Shadow having a human brother, and if/how it ties into the broader question: will the dragonets accept him?

Everything read nicely and I couldn't spy any errors. If I had to make any recommendations, the paragraph where Shear first explains mana and monsters felt just a *little* jumbled, jumping back and forth between how monsters use magic and how dragons use magic, so it could be an option to condense that paragraph/point a bit. Example:

"...The magic zones where dragons live are full of dangerous monsters and other creatures drawn there by the mana in the area. Dragons use this mana to give them energy and charge their magic, whereas some monsters can exist entirely on mana alone. For example, in every tribe there are different elementals which are made of pure magic..."

Of course, that's just me, and there's nothing technically wrong with the paragraph as-is. Please take that advice with a grain of salt ~

Overall, awesome chapter(s), great work! :)




dragonight9 says...


Thanks for the review! I find it really hard to condense all the info I want to share. I love sharing the all the little details and how things relate to each other. I'm still learning how much the reader can infer without me explicitly telling them.



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Mon Dec 25, 2023 11:44 pm
PKMichelle wrote a review...



Hello again, friend!
Happy Holidays! Here to check out Part 2 and give you its first review as well!


Per my interpretation, this was a great way to pick up right on what happened in the first part of this chapter! It started right where you left off and answered some of the questions that arose from it.

Shear is leaving, but before she could go, she was asked a question about what monsters the dragonets might need to face. After answering that, Shadow hands Shear death berries that seem to freak everyone out but Shear. To Shadow's surprise, Shear knows exactly why he gave them to her, causing Shadow to wonder if Shear knows he can read minds. The chapter ends with Shadow telling his story of how he came to be.

This was great and gave a lot of amazing background and details that haven't been introduced yet at this point in the novel!


If I could offer any sort of advice, it would be very nitpicky. See, I didn't find anything wrong with this chapter, so I'm picking out something incredibly small. At one point, you said,

What is dragon valley?


But since "dragon valley" is a proper noun, it should be capitalized and look more like "Dragon Valley."

But, obviously, this is just a suggestion, and it's always up to the writer, so please take this criticism lightly and know that I mean nothing negative by it—only trying to provide a somewhat useful critique. Also, it's such a small error that it almost doesn't even matter.


If I had to pick my favorite part, it would be the way you show Shadow clearly using his mind-reading for good and trying not to cross boundaries with the people around him.

One example of Shadow using his mind-reading ability for good is when he tries to help Shear on her expedition. You said,

I wonder how I’ll explain this to the wings of protection. I doubt they’d accept that it felt wrong to keep them trapped in that dark cave any longer. Perhaps… She thought as she readied herself to take flight, but Shadow interrupted her.

“Wait! Shear, I have an idea.” He said quickly. As he listened to her thoughts he’d looked around and found something that might solve her problem.


Not only does this show that he uses his powers to help instead of hurt, but it also shows how quick he is on his feet, which is a really cool thing to be able to capture in writing, so kudos to you for that!

Another example of Shadow using his mind-reading ability for good is when he understands that the other dragonets have questions for him and prompts them to ask him. You said,

“I’m sure you have a lot of questions. Just go one at a time, and I’ll do my best to answer them.” Shadow said, smiling at how Hailstorm had to force himself not to ask questions. Hailstorm nodded and was able to calm down somewhat.


Not only does he prompt them to ask him these questions, but he also tries to answer every question in one answer, which was really incredible writing on your end. The fact that you could put his entire background in one paragraph was really impressive, and I found it really amazing the way you did it!

And to show the fact that he was trying to respect the dragons around him and not read their thoughts, I will use the part where he was trying to think and ignore them. You said,

All these things swirled around in Shadow’s head, along with the other dragonet’s thoughts that he was trying to ignore.


This shows how respectful he is and how much he cares about honoring the people around him. He tried really hard to control it, which is something that most people probably wouldn't do in that situation, so good job showing the amount of compassion Shadow has!

You did a really great job showing Shadow's internal thoughts and thought processes in a really creative and fun way that I genuinely enjoyed reading!


Overall, this was incredible, and I had an enjoyable time reading it! You're a really great writer, and you're showing a lot of skill with your work!

Thank you for taking the time to write and post this, and I hope this review is of some use to you!


Goodbye for now! I hope you have a magnificent day (or night) wherever you are!





The simple truth is that authors like making people squirm. If this weren't the case, all novels would be filled completely with cute bunnies having birthday parties.
— Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians