This poem is taken from my short story, Unspoken Melodies. Here is the link if you would like to read it!
I'm staring into a glowing stream
of light and words, as silence gleams.
Hoping for a message, wishing for a sign,
my heart hangs on in this digital divide.
I start to think
maybe this is it,
maybe you have given up on us,
letting our bond split.
Anxiety sets in,
rationality takes its toll.
I feel the crazy coming on, but I'm no longer
in control.
I still haven't heard from you.
I'm beginning to get mad.
Have you forgotten about me?
I just don't understand.
I'm giving up!
I'm done with this!
That's what's going through my mind.
My heart sinks deep.
I'm letting go.
But my feelings fail to be resigned.
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140,068 Literary Works • 672,978 Reviews
Hey friend! I am back with another review for one of your lovely poems. Let's jump right in!
This feels like a very personal piece. It seems to detail you looking at your phone screen, hoping for a text or a call from someone. Perhaps someone that you love or very good friends with, but you feel betrayed by them in a way, as if they are playing with your feelings, or not giving you the attention, you deserve.
This is a very relatable feeling. There been times in my life where I've also been waiting for a response with so much anticipation, anxiety. Reading this poem really some of that feeling of not knowing what someone else is thinking. What if I said something that made them upset? Or what if they're mad at me, but I don't even know! This poem captures that anxiety feeling so so well. Your sentences are simple, but I feel like we are really living inside your head as we go through this. And the fact that it's so relatable, made it very easy to follow along. Feels like a conversation honestly.
You capture this feeling of being hurt by someone, but still not being able to let them go. When you're in the moment, all you wanna do is get rid of them, and never think about them again, but then there's still that desire for them to reply. Overall, you capture a lot of emotions in this piece and I thought it was very straightforward and easy to digest. It felt very straightforward, but also deep and hit me in a very relatable way. Keep on writing and have a wonderful day!
Your friend,
Ellie
I am in LOVE with this! It is SO relatable, but also a POWERFUL peice of writing! I can relate to this with things going on in my life right now, and the lines
"I start to think
maybe this is it,
maybe you have given up on us,
letting our bond split."
These lines are so amazing and the visual is SO Powerful!
I cannot belive what an incredible and touching peice this is! Keep it up! #Foreverchanged
This is so sad because I know just how it feels, amazing job with the relatability. I love how it seems vague but also you threw in some phrases like "digital divide". That is some real poetry right there, poetry comes from the heart and soul, yelling out what your mouth can't seem to say. you did an amazing job on this, it feels so relatable. I feel like you did that on purpose so that other people could see something from their own life in it.
Recommendations or errors.
I didn't see any errors, in spelling or grammar. I can't have any recommendations for a piece like this.
Overall, great piece of poetry, keep up the writing!
Good luck and may writer's block flee from your presence
Good afternoon lovely soul! Hahh, this poem is too relatable- T0T
It's like my anthem for those agonizing moments waiting for a text back. You know, when you're just staring at your phone screen, hoping for some sign of life, and all you get is that mocking silence. You nail that feeling of frustration and anxiety perfectly! I mean, we've all been there, right?? That moment when you start questioning everything, wondering if they've ghosted you for good. And then the panic sets in, and you're like, "Am I losing it?" But you can't help it because you're still hanging onto that tiny glimmer of hope. The ending hits hard, though. That mix of resignation and lingering feelings—it's too real. Overall, your poem is like a punch to the gut in the best way possible.
Well done dear writer, well done - 💘