Young Writers Society

Hey there! Ellie back, finally, to review chapter two of your story! Let's get right into the review!

As Emily sat in her bedroom, contemplating the day's events, she thought about actually working on her lines for Mr. Henderson.

"Maybe I should avoid getting into more trouble."

"But I did my lines in detention. It wasn't as many as he wanted. But I STILL did them..."

Emily let out an exasperated sigh. She took out her Bible, opened to the assigned passage, and got to work.

"I'm NOT doing all 100."

Where we left off in chapter one, Mr Henderson got mad at Emily for not writing enough lines in detention. So it seems that she is home and needs to keep writing more bible lines, as a result of skipping class. This school sounds really strict. Just for skipping class she gets detention on a Friday and has to do so much work. It seems like she doesn't want to be in trouble, but she is just overwhelmed with everything, like the 100 lines she needs to do.

Samantha couldn't understand why her friend seemed so nonchalant about this. She was already in enough trouble and now she was inviting more. "What are you going to do?" she asked.

We meet Samantha, the straight A student who is the opposite of Emily. I wonder how they met and get a long so well, since they are so different. Samantha is surprised that Emily seems to be inviting more trouble, in a way. They are totally different than each other.

The chapter finishes with Emily telling us how she will find out what happens in math class. I am excited for chapter two! I love these short chapters. They are engaging and interesting! Keep writing!

Your friend,
Ellie

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: This was a lovely little continuation of that first chapter there. I think you build on that cliffhanger nicely and it delivers well on what that promised.

Anyway let's get right to it,

As Emily sat in her bedroom, contemplating the day's events, she thought about actually working on her lines for Mr. Henderson.

"Maybe I should avoid getting into more trouble."

"But I did my lines in detention. It wasn't as many as he wanted. But I STILL did them..."

Emily let out an exasperated sigh. She took out her Bible, opened to the assigned passage, and got to work.

"I'm NOT doing all 100."

Hmmm well this is surprising. I wasn't expecting her to do anything at all, but it seems the threat of potential further punishment was just about barely strong enough that Emily is actually going to do something, even if she does seem determined not to end up doing all 100 of the lines that were requested.

The following Monday, Emily walked to school with her best friend Samantha. Samantha was a straight A student who never got into trouble. She's never had a detention. And she was president of the Student Council. She was pretty much the perfect student; a stark contrast from Emily.

As they approached the school building, Samantha asked Emily "How was detention on Friday?" Emily replied, "Stupid. Mr. Henderson can go to Hell for all I care." Samantha, taken back by Emily's strong words said, "Why? What happened?"

Hmmm well this is quite an interesting introduction here with the friend. I do love a combo like that with the straight A student and someone that's a bit more of a rebel there. ANd it does seem Emily didn't complete all her lines there. It does seem destined for a bit of a problem there unless they figure something out.

"He made me write a passage out of the Bible, and when I handed him the twenty lines I wrote, he told me it wasn't good enough and I needed to work on it over the weekend. He wanted 100 lines written by today but I didn't get enough done."

Samantha couldn't understand why her friend seemed so nonchalant about this. She was already in enough trouble and now she was inviting more. "What are you going to do?" she asked.

Emily shrugged and said, "I don't know yet. I'll see what happens in math today."

Samantha sighed, looked at Emily and said "Good luck. Try and stay out of trouble."

Hmm well that certainly sets a bit of an ominous tone for the chapters to come there. It looks like math period is going to end up spelling some kind of doom for our poor characters at the rate that thing are developing here. It doesn't seem like there's too much of a plan to actually finish those repetitions by the period either so definitely on a collision course to some craziness here.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall I think a pretty solid chapter two this. It builds on the first chapter quite well and now its ended on yet another solid cliffhanger there. I can't wait to see how this pans out for poor Emily.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Kate