Trauma

hi! It's ocean here to shoot you a quick review ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧˚

Now shall we dive in?

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I am stuck inside the inner recesses of my own mind

where darkness consumes and my inner child cries.

This line to me means that although older now you still feel the trauma and pain inflicted onto you as a young child.
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Memories of cursing, yelling, and hitting reside

as well as hiding in the closet wishing I could say goodbye.

My younger self, yearning to be held

but instead smacked around and love with-held.

When you were a child your at home life was very hostile where you were abused on not very cared about. You longed to be held and hugged the way you friends parents hugged them (just a theory)
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Now, an adult, but still that child;

She wonders why she can't escape the echoes of the past so wild.

I loved how you switched the POV on these lines. But now being a adult facing the same memories of that environment you wonder why it all floods back keeping all that pain tucked deep into the corner of your brain you can't even reach them.
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All in all it is a amazing poem! (≧∇≦)

Keep on swimming, Ocean ( *ˊᵕˋ)

Time for a Black Cat Review!!

MEOW! Hello, friend! My name is Ellie and today I will be reviewing using my very own Black Cat Review Method! It is very similar to the incredible YWS S'more Method but I have Halloween-ified it and made it spooky! My little black cat friend, Vladimir, wants to offer his opinion on your amazing literary piece:

Mystical Witch Hat - What I See, Observe, and Interpret

This poem of yours also stood out to me. I am really impressed with all of the poetry you have posted on YWS lately. I enjoy reading it a lot. I love your organized, but raw and full of-emotion style It is unique and beautiful.

This poem really touches on childhood trauma and memories that seen hard to get rid of. I really get this sense of being trapped in your own mind, which seems like quite a terrifying thing!

These lines were so well done:

Memories of cursing, yelling, and hitting reside

as well as hiding in the closet wishing I could say goodbye.

I love how you list the different types of memories you have. the rhyme of reside and goodbye was excellent!

And this part stood out to me very strongly:

My younger self, yearning to be held

but instead smacked around and love with-held.

Just wow, the contrast between held and being smacked around is deep. Using the words held and with-held was very clever. They are the same word, but opposites. I love the symbolism of this. The yearning is a so close, yet the result is so far.

Vladimir’s Advice - Suggestions for Improvement

I would love to see more descriptions. I know this is a short poem and is mostly narrative, but often with traumatic memories people have vivid memories of specific things. I would love to see some of that. I think the contrast of going from a broad memory to a super specific detail could be very symbolic and show the deepness of this trauma. Awesome job

Jack O’Lanterns - My Favourite Parts and Praises

I am stuck inside the inner recesses of my own mind

Oooh, I love this line! Recess is normally seen as a break from school for children. In my interpretation, this really plays on being stuck in that childhood traume, which has become a space in your mind where you feel like you cannot escape. Bravo! This was beautiful!

The last lines!!

Now, an adult, but still that child;

She wonders why she can't escape the echoes of the past so wild.

These are too good to not mention Yes you are an adult, but you are still that child. I also love the use of a semicolon in this situation, it reiterates the idea that you exist and that child exists too. Beautiful.
Black Cat Cuddles - Concluding Ideas and Thoughts

So lovely to read this! Take care!

Your friend,
Ellie

I hope you have a spook-tastical day, filled with black cat mischief!

Hi there! This is Orabella, here with a quick review! ^^

First of all, welcome to YWS! Hope you like it here. Please let me know if you have any questions, or if you just want to chat! I'd love to help.

I've read a few of your poems, and they're all so good! And this one is no exception. You communicate feelings very well, and the style in which you write is very unique!

Your rhyming scheme is also cool - I've been reading a lot of free-verse lately, and I think your structure is a nice change of pace. Not only that, but you do it very well! I especially like how the last words of the first four verses subtly rhyme with each other, although they don't look like they do. This gives the poem a really cool flowy feel, and helps structure it a bit.

That being said, there is a bit of critique I'd like to offer:

My younger self, yearning to be held

but instead smacked around and love with-held.

These lines feel a little bit repetitive with the two "held"s, and I think it could benefit from a bit of re-wording there. However, when read aloud, I do not find a problem at all with the lines? Maybe it's the visual aspect of the same word being repeated that's throwing me off, I don't know. ^^

Now, an adult, but still that child;

I really like this line! I think it's my favorite, although it's hard to pick. I think everyone, even those of us that aren't quite adults yet, can relate to this line in one way or another. Maybe it's the fact that you can't escape memories from the past, or just that something won't change from when you were little. I love how so much is fit into so few words. (Literally seven!)

Thank you so much for writing and sharing! And, please, take what you thought was helpful and forget the rest! Remember: you are the author! This is your poem! You do not have to listen at all to what I say. (I honestly don't know what I'm doing so it'd probably be better if you didn't. XD ) Have a spectacular day/night, and keep writing!