*This fanfic is underneath my folder titled “Marble Hornets fanfics”. Gacha Club character designs are under this forum: https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic/117842-my-character-designs-lt-33-3?start=120. Marble Hornets is an analog horror show on YouTube that ran from 2009-2014. This is a ship between two of the characters in this fic and my interpretation of one character’s thoughts in a scene that happened. Anyway, enjoy!*
Masky watched from the shadows as Jay slept, albeit with anxiousness, tossing and turning in the covers. Thoughts of kissing him and killing him raged throughout his mind.
They were perfectly fine and happy together before Alex began the film project of “Marble Hornets”, before everything went downhill. In those times, everyone started to grow distrustful of each other. It was as though Alex’s own connection to The Operator had begun to seep through them all and change everyone for the worst.
Jay forgot everything, yet he came back for more. To find out the truth. But what good would it do anyone? Alex was still at large, still working with The Operator and Jay wasn’t helping with filming everything.
But then, how could Jay know? He was completely oblivious, he didn’t understand what exactly was going on or what he was getting himself into.
He’s a bystander, but he’s still not helping. That’s just as bad.
But again, how could he know? Sweet, soft Jay, who never believed in his own humor? How could he know any of it? He was digging himself into a mess, the outcome wasn’t looking good for him no matter what Masky would do, no matter what Jay himself would choose.
Maybe a goodbye kiss before Masky took the weapons that Jay stole from the house. To let him know somehow, in that soul of his, if there was one, that he cared. That deep down, amidst the madness, he loved. If Jay ran like he was supposed to, then Masky would deal with it. He would fix it. He would fix everything. Jay couldn’t fight a battle that he wouldn’t win.
No, no. He doesn’t know you anymore. He’s still filming all of this. Take what you can and leave. Never see him again. It’s safer to be alone.
With a heavy heart, Masky took the knife, the bullets, everything that Jay took from the forsaken house.
Maybe then he would get the message to leave.
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Okay we are so back with the Marble Hornets fanfiction! This is literally a killer opening. It flows so well and it hooked me immediately with the dynamic you’re setting up.
and there it is, the whole series summed up. They’d have been fine if not for Alex and his project!
I know I might not be the best person to be saying this because I obviously know the story but I don’t think you need to do as much telling as you do. I’d try find a way to show this information through an interaction or a flashback!
I love the way you describe jay. He’s so wholesome.
Your writing skill is really shining through here!! I love these short sentences, showing his mind is racing.
Omg what a heavy ending! I’m so excited to read what’s next!
Well all my plans for today fell through but I still want to read and review something. Hia creeper :3
=DOhh maybe 4evrGreen will pick this one up too!
Well if that isn’t an amazing character intro:
Hmmm I think because you know the source material so well (and I don’t ^^°) you accidentally made this piece a bit confusing. I thought Alex was filming yet you say that Jay is filming everything later? Maybe you could have the characters acknowledge in this one that Jay ALSO picked up that hobby? Or duty?
I felt a bit left alone by narrative in the end. I guess it really was too heavily steeped in references to the original. I can’t help but feel like there could’ve been a way to make it approachable, the emotional impact at least, to casual readers tho ^^
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