*This is a Marble Hornets fanfic addressed to the Marble Hornets character, “Jay Merrick”. Marble Hornets was an analog horror show that ran from 2009-2014. You can watch it in on YouTube. The names in this song/poem are the names of Marble Hornets characters. This is under my folder titled “Marble Hornets fanfics”. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs<33”. Enjoy!*
All you’ve wanted was to find out why your friend disappeared
So you looked through the tapes in search of an answer
Through the cracked video footage
You found something dark and twisted
Reaching through with wretched tentacles
Watching without any real eyes
Bringing minds to a true demise
Now you’re down the rabbit hole
Your friends are forming into monsters
It’s not their fault
Do you think it’s yours?
Why did you try so hard?
You wanted to find the answers
Everyone’s mood is all disoriented
No one trusts anyone
Where’s the sense of self?
Nobody does the right thing anymore
That faceless man is always on the prowl
Bringing everybody down
Entry after entry is an entry of despair
Hearts break, minds shatter
How ever could you know that anything could wrong?
You just wanted to help your friends
And now you’ve been strung along
Jay Merrick
Tim Wright
Brian Thomas
Jessica
Sarah
Amy
Seth
Alex Kralie
How life can change in the blink of an eye
How looking at one tape can cause you to die
To think it all began with one film project
The road down to
“Marble Hornets”
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Canary word: Present
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Oh wow, I haven't watched the series but I still feel like this poem captured the essence of it, or at least of something horrific. I really like the way you head into the poem via grounding everything in what actually happened. I like it a lot and being a poem, I don't feel quite so lost as I usually would.
As someone who has no idea about poetry, I feel like these two things don't quite flow with the rest of the poem
Especially the disoriented part. But maybe that's really vital to the source material?
Well, you are right about it not flowing well. But I was trying to get a feel of it being about disorientation happening.
I am glad that you have liked this.
Hello, My Friend!
Hi Vamp! Raven here with another review. Let’s dive right in, shall we?
I do love the Marble Hornets content, and this one didn’t disappoint! While you did mention that this poem was addressed to Jay—and it fits very well in the beginning, it honestly feels like the poem opens up after the first verse, becoming nearly all-encompassing as it touches on the way the tapes have affected everyone. The way you go on to list everyone’s names, and finish with the eerie titular namedrop, just really tied it all together. And I love that!
As for technicalities and such, I have nothing to say for this piece! It flows nicely, no sign of typos or other errors. Nicely done!
Favorite parts, hm…As I mentioned, I do really enjoy namedropping all the characters and the infamous Marble Hornets project to end the piece. Likewise, this really hit hard for me:
I know it is *technically* just reciting what happens in Marble Hornets (I haven’t finished it yet but I’m over halfway through!!) but the way its written, your word choice and the poetic format—It’s just so eerie, it gives me goosebumps!!
Overall, loved this!!! Great work!
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."
I%u2019m so glad you enjoyed this and that you are enjoying the Marble Hornets series on YouTube!! ^v^
I made something new:
“It’s not going to end”
Ooo, cool!
I have made this:
Marble Hornets amusement park ad!
Oh right%u2014I forgot about the Marble Hornets saga here XD Will catch up soon!!
^v^
I created this!:
Going somewhere special
I made this!:
Crossroads