ever since we were little,
we have been told
that there is a monster
at the center of every maze.
we have been told
that a hero will come to slay it.
we have been told
to stay put and
give the hero the tools
to kill what could have been
a brother or a friend.
we have been told
to be trophy wives
and disowned daughters
that are abandoned
at the first sign of
"loving too deeply".
ever since we were little,
we have been told
that all we could ever hope to be
is a princess, caged and waiting
for a hero to ride in
with a key we already possess.
but we are older now.
and as we kneel by lazy streams,
sobbing with every ounce
of our aching hearts and shredded souls,
we believe that this is the aftermath
because this is all we have been told.
we have been told
that this is where a poor girl's story ends.
if a woman is not
everything her lover needs her to be,
she will be worthless to the world,
and she will be abandoned.
we are older now.
these stories can be
thrown to the fire and
left to burn on an ash-covered wind
because only fools think that the story stops there.
after our hearts are wrung out, we rise
and the resilience and power that is us
attracts the attention and awe
of someone who can match our every word and feeling
and love just as deeply as we can
without any scorn or sneers.
the stories we were told when we were young
are wrong.
a caged princess
can become
the uninhibited goddess
she was always mean to be.
the story of ariadne
does not end when it stops
being about theseus.
there is power in us.
do not let the fear
hidden in the eyes
of the storytellers
of the previous generations
tear you down.
you can be born
a poor girl in a cage
and rise
to become
a goddess.
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,794 Reviews
Hey!
Overall, the big feel of this poem is like the beginning of a fairytale. Similar to the beginning of Romeo&Juliet. When Shakespeare spoke of fair Verona, you spoke of princesses locked away, holding a key but not leaving. It sits well, leaving me wanting to know more. Especially at the end. A poor girl becoming a goddess is a big jump. It'll leave your reader wondering how the story went!
In another way, the poem brings on a feel of princesses gone "rogue". Well, to the princes that is. The princesses would only be setting themselves free. It truly feels like the beginning of a story that we only know a few details about, and unlike Shakespeare, you don't tell us how the story moves foreward. While he gave us some severe foreshadowing, you gave us very little, leaving a lot more to the imagination. It really reels the readers in and makes them question how everything was carried about.
In general, I really liked this piece. It didn't rhyme entirely and I love poems like that. You made it unique and special. I really enjoyed it.
Keep writing! You're amazing amazing at it!
~Taost
Hi avimoon. Happy Social Week! Valkyria here leaving you a short review. Let's get into it:
This poem is a powerful message to all the girls and women out there, and it rings true for many of them. It's deeply relatable and personal. I like how you formatted the stanzas where the poem starts out at a low point but ends high. It's very inspirational. I also enjoyed the repetition of the first lines. I think you used them very effectively. They emphasized the importance of your words. I love how you included Ariadne. You managed to integrate her story into the poem without it feeling awkward. She's such a strong character while keeping her femininity, and she's a good example to make the poem about. Well done!