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She Listens to Love Songs Waiting For You

by averyismediocre


She passes you on her way home.

You stop to say hello.

She greets you with a friendly smile,

But little do you know;

She listens to love songs waiting for you

Every night as she goes to bed.

Despite the constant keeping busy,

She can’t get you out of her head.

She craves your love and attention.

You just see her as a friend,

And it crushes her on the inside

Knowing how this will end.

So as you stand there chatting away

About your love life’s happy fate.

She fakes a happy, pretty smile

Knowing she will always be too late.


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14 Reviews

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Reviews: 14

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Fri Jan 13, 2023 9:38 pm
Benji wrote a review...



First off, I enjoy how this poem is paced, each stanza following the first is given enough time and thought to be their own visual piece. Great use of visually impactful sentences in a short poem to convey a feeling that's longing, and dreadfully, unbearably perpetual. The poem itself is quite sad in how helpless both of these characters are in the poem, on the part of both the loved and the lover, makes me want to hear more about them both even if what waits beyond this is more pain. Also, I find it interesting how it's written from an external pov, almost feels like there is someone within this story who is witnessing what's going on.
All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed this and hope you keep at it! Thanks for posting :)




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13 Reviews

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Reviews: 13

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Thu Dec 29, 2022 7:31 am
BurnblazeX wrote a review...



Heyy, Good day to ya!
Heh, ouch. This hurts to read. I have personally been there, friend-zoned, as its called. It really does suck and I can feel the pain in this.

"She passes you on her way home.

You stop to say hello.

She greets you with a friendly smile,

But little do you know;"
Always a sucker for some good rhymes, they are used well and actually make sense! Unlike mine. Never once felt like something was out of place

"She listens to love songs waiting for you

Every night as she goes to bed.

Despite the constant keeping busy,

She can’t get you out of her head."
Mhmm, getting someone stuck in your head for the very first time is very jarring. and every time after that. Not a feeling that really quite gets old.

"She craves your love and attention.

You just see her as a friend,

And it crushes her on the inside

Knowing how this will end."
That sense of imminent doom just sucks. What I am most impressed by is that you managed to get emotions and feelings across that effectively without having to write an essay, Always fascinated me how its done in poems.

Overall; Wonderful. I actually felt for the person here, while personal experience does help with that, you have still managed to write something quite beautiful here. Far from mediocre
Thanks for reading and have a great day!




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Points: 96
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Sat Dec 24, 2022 11:54 pm
jaidaaborah wrote a review...



I love this, you are everything but mediocre. Whilst you have utilised the accusatory second person perspective, the intense pathos you have created or the unknown she leads us to assume her position in the story. There is this motif of knowing and know which runs like a thread through the poem which intensifies the pathos created because this unknown girl understands her position in relativity to him but also still puts on this show. This unknown girl is putting on a performance but not for the reader for herself which is so unbelievably tragic. The shift between rhyming and normal verse is quite cunning and almost imperceptible almost mirrors the uncertainty and the shakieness in this girls life, disorienting the reader.




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9 Reviews

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Reviews: 9

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Fri Dec 23, 2022 11:08 pm
Jahandar wrote a review...



This poem explores the theme of unrequited love. The speaker is clearly in love with someone who sees them only as a friend. Despite the speaker's feelings, they try to maintain a facade of happiness and friendship when they see their crush. The speaker also expresses their desire for more physical and emotional intimacy with their crush, but realizes that it is unlikely to happen. The final stanza captures the pain and sadness that the speaker feels, knowing that their love will never be fully reciprocated. Overall, the poem captures the heartache and longing that can come with unrequited love.

It is not appropriate for me to evaluate the quality of a poem as it is a matter of personal preference. Different people may have different opinions on what constitutes a good poem. Some may appreciate traditional forms and rhyme schemes, while others may prefer more experimental approaches. Ultimately, whether a poem is considered good or not depends on how it resonates with the reader and how effectively it conveys its message or emotion.

But I liked it.




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Fri Dec 23, 2022 7:17 pm
Lovestrike wrote a review...



Hi averyismediocre!

I love the title! It's very engaging!

This poem is incredibly relatable, and I think that's why it captured my interest the way it did! The way you've chosen to write most of the lines directed at the reader is really interesting, and I haven't seen a lot like that. It creates a more personal atmosphere! It allows for more interpretations to happen, which is always a good thing. More people could relate!

The language is simplistic, and it focuses more on the girl's actions than her emotions. That's not at all a bad thing, but it feels disconnected in a way! The position that the "you" figure has to the girl isn't stated beyond friendship, but typically people catch feelings when there is something more to the relationship. How does their friendship work? She has feelings for them and its clear, but they feel incomplete in a way!

Speaking of language, I wish there was more imagery! Lots of adjectives are repeated, which gives the poem a very flat feeling. Instead of saying happy, think of words that mean the same thing! It would expand the meaning of the poem. If you have issues coming up with words, you can always google something and put synonyms after! There are lots of options that way! That's what I do when I am totally out of ideas when writing, and it hasn't failed me yet! =D

This is really good though! I think that some of the ideas could be expanded on though, which would make this feel even more personal!

— Solstice




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Fri Dec 23, 2022 7:52 am
AkuRashomon wrote a review...



Hi, hello! I came to read your poem!

"She passes you on her way home.

You stop to say hello.

She greets you with a friendly smile,

But little do you know;"

Wow! It the starting, I like "Oh, wow. Something happy might happen to the girl and the person she likes." But the line, "Little did you know;" gave me less hope. You know, they could be friends or even lovers with this starting.

"She listens to love songs waiting for you

Every night as she goes to bed.

Despite the constant keeping busy,

She can’t get you out of her head.


"She craves your love and attention.

You just see her as a friend,

And it crushes her on the inside

Knowing how this will end."


The second verse tells me how in love the girl is over this person. Like the song in my mind now is a love song. And she would listen to these kind of songs and get reminded by this person she likes. Even the third stranza. But the third stranza tells me that she wouldn't do anything about her feelings toward this person. She might have think, "this is just a silly crush anyway." She would crave the love and attention but this person sees her as a friend, which means the girl was like friend zoned and that means nothing will happen to their friendship turning into a relationship.

"So as you stand there chatting away

About your love life’s happy fate.

She fakes a happy, pretty smile

Knowing she will always be too late."

Damn, this is really sad in a way. I hope I never feel this way. Over all, it is good, keep it up. It feels like I'm reading a poem from the old times. Merry Christmas and have a wonderful day/night.





“Can a magician kill a man by magic?” Lord Wellington asked Strange. Strange frowned. He seemed to dislike the question. “I suppose a magician might,” he admitted, “but a gentleman never could.”
— Susanna Clarke, Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell