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Problems

by averyismediocre


I'm aware we all have problems.

I know it's okay to cry.

But sometimes life just bubbles up,

And I feel like I want to die

---

Some days show more promise,

But most days that's not true.

I hurt inside and feel the pain,

Though I don't know what to do.

---

I dissociate my problems away

In hopes they'll leave me be,

But I'm too hopeful for my own good

So I hope you can hear my plea.

---

And if you try to find me

Through all this mess I own:

I pray that you don't get lost

In these thoughts that I call home.


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Points: 130
Reviews: 2

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Fri Mar 15, 2019 10:07 pm
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Althea wrote a review...



Hello,
I really enjoy how simply put you managed to make something that feels so overwhelmingly complex. The use of language to convey emotion is powerful and I love the balance of literal language that punches you in the gut and figurative language that drags you in by describing the universal things that vary from person to person that can't be spoken without complete trust. Well done on your work. I look forward to reading more. Keep writing!






Thank you!



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38 Reviews


Points: 157
Reviews: 38

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Fri Mar 15, 2019 5:42 pm
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Anma wrote a review...



Hello Avery!

This is a great piece, I have to say.

I can feel the emotion coming from it. The message is very sting as well.
I like that you did the ABC rhyme it makes it an even better piece.

The grammar, and spacing is good.
This is a very good piece.

I hope to read more from you
Keep up the good work!!

Sincerely Anna.






Thank you!



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26 Reviews


Points: 337
Reviews: 26

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Fri Mar 15, 2019 5:35 pm
Fantascifi66 says...



What's ABCB style? Good poem by the way!






It's a rhyming pattern! Last time I did this pattern, people were confused about the writing so I decided to be clear about my rhyme scheme beforehand.



Fantascifi66 says...


Oh, okay! Thank you!




"In my contact with people I find that, as a rule, it is only the little, narrow people who live for themselves, who never read good books, who do not travel, who never open up their souls in a way to permit them to come into contact with other souls -- with the great outside world."
— Booker T. Washington, Up From Slavery