I didn't realize how sad my eyes had gotten.
I’ve forgotten the pain they feel.
I didn't know that pushing it down
Didn’t make bloody wounds heal.
----
I've lost the old persona.
I can't find my past charade.
I wish I could forget who I am
To make the problems go away.
----
I'm not informed on how to fix this.
I can not cry anymore.
Where is my joy when I need it most,
And why does it walk right out the door?
----
I can't believe I'm speechless.
I hate that I'm not right.
When will I learn to not be upset
Only when I’m out of sight?
----
But the issues get worse with time
Because time doesn't heal all wounds.
It makes matters worse since it helps fester
Until the anger has no room.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,798 Reviews
WOW!!!!
your poem highlights the silent struggles we all face at some phase of our lives...clueless, lost unheard, speechless.... and this turns even more burdensome, exhausting and when time doesn't provide the medicine we hope it will provide.....Consequently, like incessant thunderstorms create floods and earthquake create frightening aftershocks and Tsunami leaves no one behind...
our problems take a monstrous shape traumatising us when we feel most helpless....
When we realize no one in this world can understand us we feel the extreme torture and distress ...
Its wonderful that you are providing the right voice for all those people who struggle with mental issues
However it would be inspiring and motivating if you also provide solutions, hope, clues and ways to deal with these in your poem only then can these poems be more meaningful for empathy and compassion.....
hopefully you will consider my suggestion...cheers!!!!
This poem is amazing and your writing equally beautiful. I feel this piece on a personal level and you really made it powerful.
I like that the two central stanzas are formulated as a question, and the opening is very strong.
The title and the description are brilliant: you made me believe I was about to read a poem with way lighter tones but you surprised me with a very meaningful and touching piece.
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much! <3
Hello! I'm just stopping by for a quick review.
First things first, I love some good poetry about the soul. By reading this I can only imagine the release that you got putting your feelings into words. One thing that I appreciate in poems like this is the use of figurative language, however it felt as if some of your wording was very simple. When I say this I am trying to communicate that you should try to be more risky with your metaphors and analogies. Issues such as depression and suicidal ideation are so controversial due to the inability to replicate this feeling to breed understanding. Don't be afraid to be transparent with how this really feels. (Ex: Bones made out of glass, propping up rotten flesh.)
Other than that the structure of your writer flowed beautifully and I love the story you told. Keep up the good work.
All the love,
Kimora
Thank you so much! I'll try adding more figurative language in the future!
Hello,
This is a really good poem! I love the emotion conveyed from each line and the idea of this poem. Each line flows really to the next, and I think all the rhymes are well placed and add to the effect. I especially like the line "Time doesn't heal all wounds". It's a common saying that we can all relate to... and it fits in nicely with the idea of your poem.
That's all from me! Overall, really great job!
Keep Writing
Thank you so much!
Hello Avery!
I hope you don't mind me shortning your user name...
Lol, anyway..........................
This is great! I really like it! You were so realistic and I can totally compare to this. The facts you put in really made a difference to the poem. You did fantastic! I do see some small mistakes like grammar, punctuation. Just watch out for those and you'll be good. I really enjoyed reading this today. I hope i can read more of your work.
Keep up the good work!
Have a nice day!
Sincerely
Anma
Hi! Thank you for liking my poem! And thank you for catching my mistakes. If you wouldn't mind, could you tell me what lines have errors so I can fix them? Thank you! <3
Yep! (I wish I could forget who I am.) I think you might have missed a period there. That's all
No problem!
Oh! That was supposed to read together with the final line of the stanza to say "I wish I could forget who I am to make the problems go away." I can see where it looks like it's two sentences, though. That's totally my bad! Sorry!
Lol, its okay! I should have known!
Hai, I’m here to review dis! First off, this is an amazing remarkable poem that flows very well and I really liked it because it’s relateable to a lot of people. And you’re right time doesn’t heal all wounds, the only thing it does is distance the memory until you wish it was just some terrible dream, but in reality there’s no waking up. And you can never go back. I loved the rhymes in this because it takes skill to rhyme a poem and make it flow well, make sense, and sound good. And you did this perfectly. The only critique I have is the punctuation for some of the lines, like you forgot to put commas and stuff. But it’s not really a big deal.
I hope you write more poems, because you really have a talent for them! I dunno what else to say tbh, other than how amazin this poem is? Like can I borrow some of your talent? Lolllll.
Annnnyyyyways~ That’s all from me, keep writing!
-Alice
Thank you so much! I really appreciate your feedback! <3
Greetings!
Artsy here to give you a quick review. Hope you are doing well today.
The emotions you express are wonderful. I love how you describe everything. The rhyming, by the way, is very good! My favorite part is:
But anyways, this was great to read and I hope to see more from you soon! Have an incredible day!
Thank you so much! You have an incredible day as well! <3
Your welcome.
Hello!
Liberty here to drop off a quick review, let's get right into it now, shall we? Alright, so, this is so good! I love the emotion that you put in here and all that rhyming? My god, the rhyming is top-notch. Like, this could be in an actual contest and easily win. Ya know? It's seriously so good! The structure of it all... The words... Everything! It's all just too perfect. <3 I'm loving this. I'm going to read your other poems now. But keep this in mind: THIS WAS TOO GOOD OF A POEM.
Keep on writing!
~Liberty500
Wow! Thank you so much!
Your very welcome, my friend!