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Madness

by averyismediocre


Madness is my friend

She claims she keeps me sane

She keeps me up all night long

To dance around my brain

----

Madness is my sister 

She likes to hold me tight

She never lets me go unless 

I do what she deems right

----

Madness is my mother

She controls my every breath

She cares for me every day

And punishes my rest

----

But the thing about Madness

Is that she never seems to see 

That sometimes her overbearing love

Hurts and bruises me


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User avatar
113 Reviews

Points: 181
Reviews: 113

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Wed Mar 13, 2019 3:10 pm
Bellarke wrote a review...



Hey, I am gonna review, because i have only 47 left till i get my next start. lol gonna be so hard.

First off, I wanna say that your title is so accurate, and that is why i clicked on it.

Secondly: Your format, how if is in the middle of the place was amazing, and it made it so easy to read.

Third: You really should Add stanzas into this, it would make a bit more sense.

I didnt really see much wrong with this, but I still loved it.

between

Madness is my friend
and
Madness is my sister


and also between
Madness is my sister

and
Madness is my mother


,
and finally
Madness is my mother

and
But the thing about Madness

.

It would flow so much easier.

But overall, I loved it and i can relate to it sooooo mcuh.

Keep writing,
~ B E L L




averyismediocre says...


Hi, I tried making it into stanzas but it immediately shoved it back together when I published it. I%u2019m new to this site and I don%u2019t know how it works. Do you think you could tell me how to fix that so I can create stanzas for the next time?



averyismediocre says...


Oh my gosh my phone screwed that up. Whenever I said the I%u2019, I meant %u201CI%u2019m%u201D and when I said %u201Cdon%u2019t%u201D I meant don%u2019t. I don%u2019t know why it did that.



Bellarke says...


XD oh lord. Thats funny. and yeah it does that to me too, Both of them.



User avatar
27 Reviews

Points: 257
Reviews: 27

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Wed Mar 13, 2019 12:37 am
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Morgan wrote a review...



Hey Morgan here for a review..

I really love this poem. I think you just need to put in some punctuation and I think that’s pretty much about it. I really enjoy the idea behind this poem. Mostly, because I can relate to it. Sad, but true and if you wrote this from the bottom of your heart, then don’t worry. You’re not alone.I’m always here if you want to talk.

My favorite part of this poem would be the last four sentences.
“But the thing about madness
Is that she never seems to see
That sometimes her overbearing love
hurts and bruises me.”

This was so relatable and again, I’m sorry if this is REALLY how you feel.

I think you did a really good job here and I can’t wait to review more of your work.

~ Morgan :)




averyismediocre says...


Thank you! I don't really feel what I felt when I wrote this poem currently. I was in a really tough mental state but I've gotten something better. Thank you for your sentiment. <3



Morgan says...


No problem



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10 Reviews

Points: 436
Reviews: 10

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Tue Mar 12, 2019 9:48 pm
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DamienCyfer wrote a review...



Hello! Sorry if I'm not that useful, it's been a while since I've been on this website.

I quite like this poem, to be honest. It's short and doesn't seem to ramble, and keeps a consistent structure throughout. The way this is written conveys the idea that "madness" is a rather intrinsic part of your life, to the point it's almost a separate entity. I find it funny that you describe madness as an almost helicopter parent - insisting it's right for you despite disrupting your life.

The only thing I could think that confused me about this was the line "And punishes the rest". It fits in terms of flow, but I don't really understand what it means. The rest of what? Could just be me, but that's my only problem.

It was fun to read and I hope you write more like this.




averyismediocre says...


Hi! When I said rest, I meant rest as in relaxing. Thank you for telling me about this! I didn't realize how confusing that might sound. Do you think "And punishes my rest" would sound better? Or do you think there could be a better way to phrase it?



averyismediocre says...


Also thank you for liking this poem!




I want to shake off the dust of this one-horse town. I want to explore the world. I want to watch TV in a different time zone. I want to visit strange, exotic malls...I want to live, Marge! Won't you let me live?
— Homer Simpson