Madness is my friend
She claims she keeps me sane
She keeps me up all night long
To dance around my brain
----
Madness is my sister
She likes to hold me tight
She never lets me go unless
I do what she deems right
----
Madness is my mother
She controls my every breath
She cares for me every day
And punishes my rest
----
But the thing about Madness
Is that she never seems to see
That sometimes her overbearing love
Hurts and bruises me
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,817 Reviews
Hey, I am gonna review, because i have only 47 left till i get my next start. lol gonna be so hard.
andFirst off, I wanna say that your title is so accurate, and that is why i clicked on it.
Secondly: Your format, how if is in the middle of the place was amazing, and it made it so easy to read.
Third: You really should Add stanzas into this, it would make a bit more sense.
I didnt really see much wrong with this, but I still loved it.
between
and also between and ,
and finally and .
It would flow so much easier.
But overall, I loved it and i can relate to it sooooo mcuh.
Keep writing,
~ B E L L
Hi, I tried making it into stanzas but it immediately shoved it back together when I published it. I%u2019m new to this site and I don%u2019t know how it works. Do you think you could tell me how to fix that so I can create stanzas for the next time?
Oh my gosh my phone screwed that up. Whenever I said the I%u2019, I meant %u201CI%u2019m%u201D and when I said %u201Cdon%u2019t%u201D I meant don%u2019t. I don%u2019t know why it did that.
XD oh lord. Thats funny. and yeah it does that to me too, Both of them.
Hey Morgan here for a review..
I really love this poem. I think you just need to put in some punctuation and I think that’s pretty much about it. I really enjoy the idea behind this poem. Mostly, because I can relate to it. Sad, but true and if you wrote this from the bottom of your heart, then don’t worry. You’re not alone.I’m always here if you want to talk.
My favorite part of this poem would be the last four sentences.
“But the thing about madness
Is that she never seems to see
That sometimes her overbearing love
hurts and bruises me.”
This was so relatable and again, I’m sorry if this is REALLY how you feel.
I think you did a really good job here and I can’t wait to review more of your work.
~ Morgan
Thank you! I don't really feel what I felt when I wrote this poem currently. I was in a really tough mental state but I've gotten something better. Thank you for your sentiment. <3
No problem
Hello! Sorry if I'm not that useful, it's been a while since I've been on this website.
I quite like this poem, to be honest. It's short and doesn't seem to ramble, and keeps a consistent structure throughout. The way this is written conveys the idea that "madness" is a rather intrinsic part of your life, to the point it's almost a separate entity. I find it funny that you describe madness as an almost helicopter parent - insisting it's right for you despite disrupting your life.
The only thing I could think that confused me about this was the line "And punishes the rest". It fits in terms of flow, but I don't really understand what it means. The rest of what? Could just be me, but that's my only problem.
It was fun to read and I hope you write more like this.
Hi! When I said rest, I meant rest as in relaxing. Thank you for telling me about this! I didn't realize how confusing that might sound. Do you think "And punishes my rest" would sound better? Or do you think there could be a better way to phrase it?
Also thank you for liking this poem!