Hello!!
Anma here for a short review.
Sooo, I really love this poem. Its actually fairly well. Your imagery is great and it really creates a story in my head. I'm not sure exactly what your getting at here, but i have a few ideas. Your lines and spacing is good. I feel like there is a lot of emotion coming from here, and I'm not sure if its just me relating to it, or if you put it in the words.
Here are some suggestions i found!!
Standing in front of me is a stranger.
He's tall and proud,
But forgetful of his mistakes,
He thinks that I made. { might help with the flow, this is a sorta crappie suggestion sorry!}
----
Standing in front of me was an enemy.
He fought long and hard
With an irrational mind
And (hate for a heart). {Sounds better, and it makes it seem cool, lol}
----
Standing in front of me was a friend.
He was towering in stature.
Yet faint in (the) heart, {makes more sense if you add the}
smiling in the sun.
----
Standing in front of me was (my) lover. {it indicates what the last line was trying to say.}
He was overflowing with hope and love.
His heart was full and beating.
( ) {i feel like that line is not needed, it flows much better without.}
----
Standing in front of me
Was the one I wouldn't mind seeing again.
Now (though), I choose to turn away. {Flows better}
Either than that its really good!!
I hope to read more like this!!
Have a nice day!
Sincerely
Anma
Points: 249
Reviews: 140
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