To be honest, I was kind of hoping this poem was about Twilight the movie! But alas it is about the time when the sun is setting which is also good!
Ah! I think this is one of your strongest poems for imagery Zelda. Nicely done especially in those first couple of stanzas.
I think there's a wording problem here: "For what name shall I can, my favorite time of day?" I don't see a question within this sentence, and further it doesn't make any sense.
I also didn't feel like the lines about wanting to go outside and play fit the character of the poem. Like in the rest of the piece the speaker seems very thoughtful and maybe a little dark and contemplative so then saying "Can I go play now???" is sort of a weird juxtaposition. I just wasn't expecting the speaker to be a little kid I guess.
I thought the last stanza was really well done, but I wanted more of those elements in the rest of the poem so it's not coming out of nowhere. Like can you incoporate the feeling of wanting to be alone, or the mysterious "twilight" personality into the earlier parts?
The rhyming throughout was done well, it didn't seem awkward at all, although I wish the lines had been a bit more consistent in length to help the balance of the poem.
best,
~alliyah
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