Young Writers Society

What a do, What it is, It's yo boi back with another review.

I have reviewed another one of your lyrics before, so expect some more praise coming from me.

I think this one was better than the last one that I reviewed, but honestly, I'm just a confused 14 year old Panic At The Disco fan that loved both writings. So, imma just talk about what i loved about this. (probably what I did on the other review)

What I really loved about reading your lyrics is that if someone knows the song they can sing the song in their head, but with your lyrics instead of the original. When I was reading the lyrics I thought it went perfectly with the instrumental of the original song. You wrote the words to where they went perfectly with the instruments being played.

Sometimes when someone writes a parody to a song the lyrics really don't make sense or match up with the instrumental from the song. You have accomplished making the lyrics match up with the instrumental, and I praise you for that. It must have taken you a long time to put words together to match up to the instruments.

Also, I loved the theme you used for this one. You basically described the everyday life of a reader. My favorite part that you wrote was, "Swiftly reading through this series, Lost my mind over a print error." I can actually relate to this. Last year I was reading this really awesome book, and I got to page 545, but when I went to the next page it was like page 213, and I was so mad, and I never got to finish the book.

Anyway, You are truly a really amazing artist. Keep up the good work! I'll be looking for more lyrics or other stuff by you!

~Namjoon~

oh cOME ON

Hey ZeldaIsShiek,

Shady here with a review for you!

I must admit, I wasn't familiar with this song to begin with -- so I appreciate you giving the title of the song you're parodying so I could look it up and get a better idea of how this is supposed to flow Also, I appreciate the reference to the song -- I really like it!

So, I really loved this. Like a lot. Usually when I read a work I come up with a lot of critiques and later think up nice things to say about the piece -- but I didn't have any critiques for this. There were a few places where the words didn't flow quite right, but it wasn't a major issue -- and I absolutely loved it.

Tolkien, Hunter, Laskey

And writers in between

I roam the book store with a shopping cart

A sack of books and a broken arm

I'm not as think as you slow I am

Thanks for writing this parody. I can't say I understand exactly what is going on or how exactly it is mocking or ridiculing the original. One thing that is clear, is that the activity of reading is being portrayed as a threat because it might be unpleasant. But there is a stark diffeenc between te unplesantness of the original and this one. So it com,es accross as a false analogy.

The original speaks about how the speaker awakens and to unfamiliar surroundings. It speaks of frolicking through the city riding a shopping cart. Something akin to a psychedelic trip which maybe the speaker is undergoing involuntarily because she was given a drug-laced beverage.

This one speaks of books and how some people are bookworms and feel that reading is a good time. Seems as if the speaker considers anyone suggesting that a book is a good read is threatening him with a good time. States that the book sometimes doesn't deliver the promised good time. Gives examples of imagery popping up and clumsy or disconnected writing.

So it comes across as a criticism of either the one offering the good time via a read or else condemning the activity of reading a book itself because not all books are well-written. In short, the threat of the good time isn't made clear enough in this case. In the original, the danger of the good time is palpable since any person in a drugged state can be taken advantage of in many a diverse way.. So to make the parady pack punch the reader needs to be convinced about the dangers of a good time via reading a book.

OML!!! LOVE!!!!