Never Again

Hey there, ZeldaIsShrek, it's ya girl CocoaCat coming in with a review.
First off, I really liked your poem, it flowed nicely and was captivating. My only issue with this is the lack of punctuation and capitalization. I understand that it could have just been a choice of format, but it could be benefited.
Also, I don't understand these following lines...

"never again

will you watch me hange

my soul transforming

as it does everyday"

What exactly are you trying to say? I'm having trouble with these lines.

"never again

as dragons we'll fly

counting the hours

as they fly by

never again

as owls we will soar

reading and writing

happy to our cores

never again

will we be the heroes

collecting gems and masks

while wearing green clothes

never again

will we explore the underground

confronting psycho flowers

and comparing secrets found"

I don't understand why you are referring to these animals. Also; psycho flowers? Well they are saying now that plants have feelings, but still.
ANyway, that's it for me, keep on writing!

Hello! Berri here for a review! (-‿◦☀)

Having a best friend is wonderful, and I know I can relate to this. The way you described all the memories you had with them was bittersweet. Losing a best friend is terrible, and losing trust in someone just feels defeating. I really love this poem because it's honest, and that's what matters to me. (。・ω・)ゞ

Next, I want to address the rhyme scheme. It's actually very clever! ヾ(☆´･ω･)ゞ Every word in that "never again" section was very well-chosen, and I thought it was pretty cool.

The only issue I saw was the underline thing. I don't think BBCode works in submissions (-｡-;) There's gotta be an underline button somewhere, right?! (ᗒᗊᗕ)

Anywho, this was awesome to read. I think it was pretty cool!!

Keep writing!

Berri out! ~ (〃⌒∇⌒)

bbc code doesn't work on works themselves

Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed reading the poem and its nostalgic depiction of a friendly relationship no longer possible. True, childhood friendships that seemed forever sometimes do abruptly come to and as adulthood approaches. I remember one friend joining the navy. Others marry and relocate. Others die. If the friendship has been as precious as you describe this one then one will definitely feel incomplete and mourn the disappearance of something once thought permanent. The experience will always remain special just as those adolescent years although brief. The poem very effectively conveyed the painful nostalgia for a friendship now gone and hit a very corresponding note in me as a reader.

Suggestions

I know that not punctuating is an artistic choice to which every poet is entitled, but while reading this I felt that it would have enhanced understanding. So if it were mine I would have included punctuation occasionally. Especially when the sentences are interrogatory and a question mark would have clearly identified them as such. Also, I would have capitalized the first letter of the beginning of sentences in order to prevent reader hesitation as I experienced.

[M]y enthusiasm dwindles

....and comparing secrets found[?]

....basking in your pleasantries[?]


.....every day[?]

will you watch me[ hang]....

Also, I would not underline. Instead I would bold.

All in all a very pleasant read. Look forward to reading more of your work.

I noticed that some of the coding was broken on your poem which made it a not-so-easy read. Once those are fixed, I see no issue with it! It's a lovely poem. It touches home with me, I miss my childhood friends very much. Some you grow distanced from, some betray you, some pass on... all are hard to deal with because the love of a best-friend is extremely special. I look forward to being able to read more poems from you! Wishing I had this skill lol.