Young Writers Society

Hey there! I'm not sure how to review this, so I'm simply going to treat it as a submission for a written debate. With that said, I agree with you here, so it might be a bit hard. But I'll do my best

I would caution you to make sure you don't commit a fallacy of ignorance here. (If you don't know, fallacies of ignorance are a subcategory of fallacies of relevance. The fallacy of ignorance pushes the burden of proof onto the opponent, for example "Vitamins must be good for you, no one has proven to me that they aren't.") I don't think that it would be valid yet to call you out on that, but it's something to be aware of.

Numerous scholars of antiquity & almost universally in the modern age agree that Jesus existed.

. He is the only person I know who claimed to be God

Legacy here for a review.

I will keep my own religious beliefs out of this review because you did not ask for them. (you may pm me if you wish to know).

Onward. Your essay is incomplete. You have no clear opening, you dig straight to telling the credibility of one of your sources.

You also have no clear argument. Are you arguing that Jesus was a real person or are you arguing that Jesus was the person that is depicted exactly as he is in the Bible?

You also don't have a counter argument (which is important to argumentative essays like you have here because of the fact if you don't show the other side then it makes it look like you are very biased when you aren't trying to look that way).

Generally in essays, they are written in third person (they, it, him, her) and you didn't stay with that in multiple spots.
"He is the only person I know who claimed to be God" you do it here, and it would be a good idea to rewrite this part because like stated above, generally I statements aren't used in argumentative essays.
"But if you are a skeptic when it comes to ancient certification of documentation" you also do it here. This could easily be rewritten as "critics of ancient certification of documentation".

I don't understand the argument that you make at the end about the flood evidence. I believe any flood evidence has been explained by ice ages (but I may be wrong, I have not done any research on this topic).

You also didn't keep up with your tenses. You began writing in past tense and at the end you switched to present tense.
"and fossils of sea creatures who dwell at the bottom of the ocean" could easily be rewritten as "and fossils of sea creatures that dwelled at the bottom of the ocean".

Also in essays, it is necessary to add in-text citations showing where you got the information and a works cited at the end showing where you did your research for this paper.

Overall, this essay is incomplete and needs some editing in the publishing center. If you have any questions, you can ask in the comments or in a pm. Legacy.

This is Nikayla here dropping in for another review on this Review Day.

So I'm glad that you don't write essays in the way that you write poetry. It's much clearer in aesthetic, so I thank you for that. Moving on from that, I'm not sure what you're arguing in this article of yours. Are you arguing that Jesus existed and you're giving proof as to why? I'm unsure of who this essay is directed to. I'm in the belief that Jesus existed, but I don't believe in the Bible. I'm an Agnostic. And that is where, I believe, you dig up a misconception. Just because scholars or historians have said that they believe in Jesus, does not mean that they believe in the Bible.

Jesus could have existed--as a regular man, and that's a perfectly plausible theory, and I'm thinking that's what these people mean by saying that they believe in Jesus. The actual structure of your argument or your essay is rather weak, I've found. There's no introduction into what we're going to be talking about other than a quote at the beginning of your work. There's no introductory paragraph or even an opening line or sentence that tells us what you're going to be talking about here, and because of that, this feels incomplete.

The outro doesn't do a lot to summarize what you've claimed and there's a lack of sources that are used throughout the article. There is no solid evidence that what you're saying is true. All that we have is your word and a few sources that support your argument. There's not an insight to the other side of the coin. There's no firm proof that shows that your last paragraph is true. You could state that the reader could look it up, but it's your job to prove your argument or to sway the audience in your direction, and due to the lack of sources and citing, you fail at this.

But if you are a skeptic when it comes to ancient certification of documentation (which then you couldn’t trust the vast majority of what’s written in History Books period), then there’s also the flood evidence left behind in the rock layers; and fossils of sea creatures who dwell at the bottom of the ocean - strewn haphazardly about high on mountain peaks across the world.