Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » Politics


We're all good Americans.

by Willard


I sit in the Fish,
staring at the book collection,
wanting to buy this Holy Bible.

Benefits:

-I learn a bit more about religion
-makes me seem intelligent
-Helpful when it comes to argument
-makes me a good American.

Or, I could buy this Jane Austen collection

Benefits:

-has a cool, collectible cover.
-I heard Jane Austen was okay.

"95 cents"
the cashier says
as I walk out with the text
of Pride and Prejudice
under my arm.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
471 Reviews


Points: 125
Reviews: 471

Donate
Thu Jun 11, 2015 3:28 pm
Lightsong wrote a review...



Oh, this is nice simple poem that would bring no trouble for me to review! :) Here we go.

I assume Fish is a bookshop. I don't know the reason you give it a name and not just say "bookshop" but it sounds redundant if you change it to "bookshop" because of the next line that has "book collection" in it. Eventually, I think it's fine.

For one thing, the benefits of having a Holy Bible surpasses those of having Jane Austen book. I thought that's the reason you put in the benefits lists, so that it'll be easier to choose which book to buy. Because of that, the revelation of you buying a Pride and Prejudice novel comes out of a sudden. Better to explain why this happens.

Apart from that, the poem format is fine. It fits what you're trying to get. :)




User avatar
18 Reviews


Points: 176
Reviews: 18

Donate
Wed Jun 10, 2015 3:26 pm
Curiosity227 says...



Very nice poem and title.




User avatar
160 Reviews


Points: 246
Reviews: 160

Donate
Tue Jun 09, 2015 10:30 pm
Rurouni says...



One word Strangle Love:

Wow.




User avatar
289 Reviews


Points: 30323
Reviews: 289

Donate
Tue Jun 09, 2015 11:05 am
View Likes
Caesar says...



not sure if you're criticizing the holy bible or jane austen.




Willard says...


I honestly don't know



Holofernes says...


I can tell



deleted5 says...


Why not both?



Holofernes says...


probably my greatest issue with this is it seems you favored form over content. Your message wasn't clear to me, as synthetically as it was conveyed. It may just be I'm a pleb who doesn't get poetry though.



User avatar
285 Reviews


Points: 237
Reviews: 285

Donate
Tue Jun 09, 2015 5:29 am
GreenTulip wrote a review...



Hello, Tulip here to review your poem! It is a very interesting poem, and it's format is different. Not different in a bad way though. It's a very god thing this time.

So at first I thought this was going to be some cheesy poem about how we act as good Americans bah blah. Then I started reading it. And I enjoyed it.

Every bit is true. The Bible does offer you so much, but why should we be good Americans with it when our politicians are corrupted and need it in their lives? The Jane Austen bit was funny but totally accurate.

Best of luck to you in future poems,
Tulip.




User avatar
14 Reviews


Points: 398
Reviews: 14

Donate
Mon Jun 08, 2015 10:12 pm
View Likes
raevynstar wrote a review...



I don't know what the Fish is, but I could figure it out, sort of. Maybe change that? If you want to; it's not a big problem.

The poem really captured...I don't know how to describe it, but it did capture something about human nature, and it was a good poem, if that makes any sense.
Sorry this review isn't longer. I don't know what else to write.




User avatar
423 Reviews


Points: 0
Reviews: 423

Donate
Mon Jun 08, 2015 8:42 pm
View Likes
Vervain says...



But hey, it has a collectible cover.




kymorhens says...


The collectible cover is what sells it. I've been known to buy books because the cover is interesting.




That, sir, is the most frightening battlefield in the world: the blank page.
— Larry McMurtry, Comanche Moon