Here in Verona, where we lay our scene, we witness two star crossed lovers who attempt to maintain a relationship through the ups and downs of a family rivalry and an age of consent law. Although, the latter doesn't matter much in this story. This is a timeless tale penned by Bill Shakespeare that all should read once in their life. However, this version is different, only covering the second half of the famous balcony scene and putting a modern twist on it. I would like to present to you, Romeo v. Juliet
"The moon puts a mask upon my face." Juliet says, looking at the night sky.
"But, but, you're not wearing a mask!" Romeo's voice slightly gets higher. This response causes Juliet to grunt.
"I know, Romeo, it's an expression. Just tell me, do you truly love me?"
"Of course! I swear by the moon that I-"
"Don't swear by the moon," Juliet cuts him off, "it's not constant!"
"What if I were to blow up the sun so the moon lasts forever?" Romeo suggests.
"How long will that take?" She asks him. He looks down at his shoes, starts counting on his fingers, and mumbles.
"To get the materials, fly up there, and actually blow it up, I would say about twelve thousand fortnights."
A moment of silence goes by.
"No," she says, "that's no good."
"Then what shall I swear by?"
"I gave you my heart and I-"
"Just don't swear! God," she cuts him off, "just don't swear! God! You know, Romeo, I've been having double thoughts about this marriage." This makes Romeo gasp.
"What? I gave you my heart-"
"And I gave you mine but you have to understand we only just met!" Her voice raises. Romeo wears a look of disgust on his face.
"I'm sorry, but last time I checked, relationships were two way streets! I didn't steal this monkey from the zoo just to get screwed over!" He reaches under his shirt and pulls out a small monkey. Juliet's jaw drops.
"How did you get that?"
"Long story. Let's just say I have a court appearance in a week." The monkey climbs up on his shoulder.
"Oh. Well, you have to know I still love you. My love is as deep as the pool that lies below." She points to the pool.
"But, that pool is only six feet deep." He says in confusion.
"Complain some more and I'll change it to the bird fountain." The nurse calls Juliet from inside, which she goes back into the room. Romeo pets the monkey, who's picking at his hair.
"I'm going to call you Prince." He laughs. Juliet runs back outside and looks over the balcony.
"Okay, so, as I was saying, I lo-"
"Juliet! Juliet!" The nurse yells, cutting her off.
"Love you, but-" She tries to continue.
"Shut up already! I was just in there, what else do you want, damn it!" She goes back inside.
Meanwhile, Romeo starts walking around the backyard, looking at the flowers. A squirrel walks over his feet, which causes Prince to dart off his shoulder and chase the animal around. Romeo follows the chase, but loses them as they head out of the gate. He bends over as a single tear leaves his right eye. The sound of Juliet's bedroom doors opening alerts him.
"Romeo! With a falconer's voice, I-"
"Cawcaw! Cawcaw!" He loudly mimics the sound of a falcon.
"Be quiet! Ugh. Where shall we meet tomorrow?" She asks. He thinks for a minute.
"Uncle Harry's Flabby Tavern, twelve o'clock during happy hour. I heard it's half off fried pickles!"
"No." Juliet quickly shoots down the suggestion with a stern look.
"Uh, the church at nine?" He says.
"Sure," she smiles, "that sounds good."
"Cool! Can we celebrate with a duet?" Romeo asks.
"Of course. Make sure it's modern, and not Carly Rae Jepsen." After Juliet said this, a frown appeared on Romeo's face.
"Well, have a nice night and I'll talk to you tomorrow!"