Young Writers Society

Hello Strange, Wonder here. I read your poem within moments and thought this was pretty cool. The idea was fun and it has potential. Let me help you with some tips.

1st: Every poem has to rhyme somehow weather it be a AB, AA, ABAC ect. So you need to add some rhyming words to the end. For example:

I sit in the back corner of my local Subway,
Downing ridiculous amounts of Sprite--
I must have been a very funny sight.

You could try that or many other things.

2nd: Where did you get tears from? Subs make you sad? The reader will be very much puzzled because of this.

3rd: Capitalize the first word of every stanza--English standard. Also it looks more professional that you took the time and effort to do that.

P.s. I have never heard of a poem that didn't rhyme. That's what they're meant for. Right?
But anyway, keep writing and NEVER get discouraged! I hope this review was helpful.

If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.
-Thomas Edison

~\/\/onder

Fantasy here!
First, I just want to tell you that I love poetry and songs.
Now, on to the important part.
I found this song very humorous, especially the last part about the soda machine. I liked how it's short, sweet, and to the point. To be honest, I am kind of lazy. I sometimes have no patience to review long things. Don't you EVER follow my example!!!!!
Now, I don't know if this was meant to rhyme. Each verse had different numbers of syllables. The rhythm was not the smoothest, but when I said it out loud to myself, it sounded fine. Maybe I am just going crazy.
Also, what does the phrase "figurative tears" mean? That is confusing.
Overall, I think you did a good job and I encourage you to keep on writing. Never give up. If you do.....*thinking about what would I do if you did give up*
*Clicks on the "Like" button*
Good luck and keep writing!!!
Very truly yours,
fantasydragon01.