E - Everyone

How We Made The World Just A Little Bit Nicer - The Gates, Episode 2.5

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Sorry if this confuses anyone, but this story is so muddled, I'm not sure I should even have it posted! XD Bare with me while I think of what to do. :D

Yes, I have changed Ana's name to GriN; This is because she connects with everyone and I thought "something that everyone understands is a smile" but smile isn't a very good name IMO, so I tried translate to see if there were any good words that mean it, but nope! So I tried translating grin, but then I found I liked the word grin. I also like to write it as GriN. For some reason. 

You can be honest about this decision. :I If you think it's bad, tell me.

The shadow had been driving all night over risky bridges, mountains, ice, pretty much anything the man would avoid.

He grinned as he purposefully ran over a particularly sharp split in the road, which to his content, crashed and scraped against the front of the car. His shoulders nodded as he snickered, but the smile left when it realised that it was becoming day, the kind of day that had no true light...which meant no true shadows. It was slightly foggy, but generally grey. All the shadow’s control would go...

Oh gosh, the shadow thought. It was getting anxious. It needed to get the man to wake up! The shadow waved its arms around furiously. Pressed against the shadow of the wheel to activate the horn, but he did not wake!

The shadow was fading fast...He had to...Urgh!

CRASH! The shadow aggressively turned the wheel, driving the van face first into a tree. The impact wasn’t too large, but the damage done was decent. Luckily they had gotten close to where they needed to be.

The man fell into the airbag. Lucky for him, Neu flew through the windscreen and was splatted against the tree bark. GriN was thrown about a bit.

The man growled turning to his shadow who mGriNged to give an unsure shrug before fading away completely. There was no sense of loss when he left as he was bound to be back again.

Neu frowned feeling he’d been woken up horribly. He growled annoyed.

“I’ll check on the girl,” The man told Neu plainly as he hopped out of the now windowless front door and slid open the back ones. He stepped back surprised. She was in a very odd position with her legs hanging backwards over her head. “You alive?”

She didn’t seem to be in any condition to communicate at that time. She made very unhappy, distressed and exhausted noises. The man left the doors open for a while as he got all of the bags out of the car. Neu flopped off of the tree and fell with a splat onto the ground. He growled and shook his head.

“Squawk!!!” He accused the man. The man nodded sarcastically in reply as he flung a huge backpack over his shoulder and threw one at GriN. She looked at it and mumbled feeling absolutely unable to do anything. Neu felt the same as he groomed his ruffled feathers.

GriN slowly lifted herself and flopped heavily from the van. She grabbed the backpack and hauled it over her shoulder. She then remembered what hell her life may have become and looked fearfully at the man.

Where am I? Why are we ‘ere? What did ‘e nap me for? She thought nervously. She supposed she should ask, knowing that she hadn’t really been able to comprehend anything that had happened. She strolled over to him.

“Uh...Ye’h. I’m alive,” She told him awkwardly. The man, predictably, towered way over GriN, and gave her a very disgusted look.

“Great.” He said plainly. She was unsure whether he was being sarcastic or not, but she took it as him being his own version of friendly, and this made her far less tense.

The surroundings were unpleasant, the current spot had a few trees scattered around it, but only a few hundred meters away was a changed landscape. The change was odd, but it didn’t seem unnatural, for what the dirty, rocky tree scattered environment sank into was a marsh-like terrain. Slightly like the Norfolk broads, but instead of a small boat, you’d only need a pair of wellies. GriN looked upon it in slight dread, not because she didn’t like mud, but wet feet were horrible to harbour.

As they got closer, the man, for some reason, decided to speak again.

“Do you believe in mythology?” The man asked calmly. She looked confused.

“Not sure I know what it mean…” She replied nervous of his reactions and himself in general.

“Dragons, elves, dwarves…” He looked forward to Neu, referring to him. Her eyes had already grown wide as she did not expect a kidnapper to care much for fantasy. She admitted, though, she did love it! “Griffons…” To this, her eyes followed his and she was paused in her tracks. Her jaw fell wide open.

“WOOOOOOOOOOOAH!!! AHAHA!!!! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!?!?” She made several shocked, confused, upset, happy and excited noises. It was pretty overwhelming for the man. She jogged on the spot weirdly and did a strange dance to reassure herself. She then proceeded to an odd version of the shuffle whilst pulling a very masculine face. The man stopped confused.

“What the hell are you doing?” He asked tiredly. She carried on dancing which in away answered his question. Although, I suppose she just sort of ignored him. He rolled his eyes and carried on walking.

“You ‘ave a griffon.” She repeated as she skipped over to catch up with him. The man mumbled a yes. “That's pretty crazy!” She sounded very excited.

“Yeah.” He replied moodily. “What’s your name? Or rather, what would like me to call you?” His voice didn’t sound interested, just like he needed to know something.

“GriN.” She replied plainly. She had calmed and her nerves had been, too. Thanks to the odd dance. Untill, they stood by the mud, neither of them spoke a word. The man stared into nowhere whilst GriN gazed softly at the ground.

“Take off your shoes and roll up your trousers.” He told her in a strict manner, taking his own shoes off and placing both hers and his in his bag. He clicked his tongue against his teeth and Neu ran to him, jumping into his arms with a faint purr. He then looked to the girl and gestured her to follow him as he strode through the muddy, squelchy water. It was about two feet deep and had a surprisingly clean smell to it. After a decent amount of stomping through the thick muddiness, GriN found herself smiling again. Her arms were held away from the mess as she watched her legs and feet sink into the marsh. With a little giggle, she splashed her calves and toes about. It suddenly became more beautiful, and she saw the rainbow colours in the water-logged earth reflected by the sun. She sighed, and went to look up at the – hopefully - bright sky.

But…her eyes caught the man. And the sky went dark. And the rainbows in the mud left. So did her smile. He was just so grey. GriN shook away the depressed feeling, ignoring the man far in front of her and continuing to hop around behind him, reigniting a mild happiness.

Picture

A while later, the blonde man saw river reed trees, the trees he knew that belonged to a certain three-eyed goblin-imp creature. They were lined up, and acted like a boarder. It wasn’t a forest; it was just an unending line of river reed trees. He sped up, and finally came close enough to the trees. GriN began to run after him, feeling like they were under threat.

“What’a we runnin’ from?!” GriN called, still running.

“Nothing.” He said as he stopped. Due to the fright, GriN’s pace only slowed slightly, and she was about to zoom through the trees, into what seemed to just be more marsh.

“N-” the man began, but it was too late; GriN slipped through the trees and immediately she fell under shock. What was marsh just before became deeper, colder and cleaner. She fell into the freezing water and it stung her every nerve. Her pupils shrunk and the heavy load that she had on her back tugged her deeper. She stared desperately through the water and into the sky. She pleaded with the sun and was a beggar to the clouds.

Meanwhile, the blonde man sighed; kneeling in the mud was not what he had wanted to do. However, shuffling close to the trees as was safe, he leaned through the trees to find his top half hovering over a vast ocean. He looked into the water to see the girl drifting downwards. With as little worry as was humanly possible, he leaned into the water and reached to the girl. He tried to reach as far as he could, but he realised with slightly more concern that he couldn’t reach. Frantically, he went back and removed his bag and put Neu down, leaving him doggy paddling for a moment. With a stretch of the limbs, he dived through the trees and into the water. After a few long heavy kicks and strokes, he was able to reach her, and immediately, he grabbed her by the scruff of the neck pushed her up above his head. She felt light because she was under water, but equally, her clothes and heavy load dragged her down, making the savour slow. Before he could even look if she was conscious, he turned himself up right and pulled them above the surface. He took a deep breath and to his relief, she was taking them, too. Taxingly for him, she had latched herself onto his shoulder to avoid being pulled back under by her backpack. Looking to her briefly, he then turned to head back onto the mud. After his shoulders and head went through the trees, he proceeded to pull himself up. GriN followed swiftly, lifting a leg through as she held onto the slippery mud. Getting to their feet, their breathes slowed and the man glared at the girl. She gulped. He leaned closer and looked her up and down. Opening his mouth, his snarl seemed aggressive. GriN’s eyes shut as she curled up slightly into her own chest.

“Are you okay?” He asked. GriN’s eyes rose. She uncurled slowly. She smiled in the corner of her mouth, and this made the man grow calmer and his features softened from the previously annoyed look.

“I’m fine! Thank ya’ fer askin’, sir.” However wrong I find her calling a sick man who kidnaps children “sir” respectively, the moment was sincere and full of grace considering their current state. The man lifted the soaked Neu into his arms and stepped back, tapping her shoulder to go backwards with them. “But…What in the heck jus’ happened?!”

“It separates us from the rest of the world. The rest of the world being a place you’ll find bizarre but it’s as Earthly and real as this part.” He told her with a slightly doubtful expression.

“What?! Why?! And why when’a wen’ through It, did I end up in wa’er?” She looked up to him confused and curious.

“I’m not sure why it’s here, actually. But I’m betting that it’s the fault of humans.” He looked at in suspiciously. “You ended up in the ocean because it takes you to the opposite end of the gates, creating an illusion of this part of Earth being the whole world.”

GriN nodded as the man held his wrists together with limp fingers, and loudly spoke;

“Tei consurgens volumus per portas praemium. Homo per commercia et videte ne forte extra persuadere.” He cried, enveloping and uncurling his hands like a blossoming flower. And in sync with his movements, and odd, large pod pried the trees apart, twisting upward, then opening up to reveal a most odd creature.

PICTURE

Big ears, backwards curving horns, three yellow eyes, a jaunty jaw, a pair of wings where her arms would be, two stumped legs and tail which acted as her one and only arm. She held a golden handled umbrella and sat on a charming nest with her wings spread open.

“Tei.” The man approached in a greeting gesture.

“…Man.” The creature he called “Tei” replied slightly puzzled by what to call him. She shook her confusion off and took a deep breath, beginning to compose a calm demeanour. “I suppose you summoned me to get through again?”

“That’s correct.” The man replied, nodding his entire top half.

“Okay…” She looked around and licked her lips. “The price will be…AHA!” Her three eyes widened suddenly as she hopped forward onto the man, prowling along his shoulder. He grunted slightly, disapproving of that particular action. “I’ve been feeling insecure lately.”

“That en’t good.” GriN said. The sight of the girl seemed not to surprise Tei, but maybe impress her slightly.

“Indeed, -?” She gestured her hand for a response.

“Oh! GriN.” She replied with a slow nod.

“Indeed, GriN. Insecure over this;” she referenced to the large, third eye on her forehead. “my third eye! And you know what would help me?” She directed that question to the man. He looked puzzled at her.

“No. Perhaps you could keep that eye closed?” He replied slightly dissmissive. As he was of most - if not all - insecurities.

“ERR, EERR!! WRONG!” She hopped back onto her nest. GriN looked at her enquiringly.

“Sqwuar?” Neu asked, looking hopefully into all three eyes.

“An eye patch!” She rose tall in enthusiasm.

“O’ ye!” GriN cried from behind. Tei nodded proudly.

“And maybe more of your cooking.” She smirked slyly, observing her nails. Squirrel looked around displeased.

“Well - I don’t have an eye patch.” He argued like a child would if they found something unfair.

“Well – YOU’LL HAVE TO GET ONE!” Tei replied in a mocking manner, clenching her fist, she suddenly became snappy. The man looked around, considering his options. He had made her a deal before.

“Well, how about we make a deal; if the next time I come here, I don’t have your eyepatch, you don’t have to let me back through.” This caused an unimpressed blink to express itself from the creature’s face.

“I could just do that now.” She replied plainly.

“You could, but you know what I’m doing and if we make it an official deal, it’ll be on my unspecified name for all eternity.” He began, but she didn’t particularly seem to care a great deal. He grunted, bringing out a large parcel. “Also, I can’t give you these.”

At the sight of the pastry, fruit and loaf filled parcel, her eyes widened, and her hand reached out to snatch it. Before she could, the man took it back.

“Take my offer first.” He looked deeply into her eyes. Clearly, he didn’t see it as beating her. Nor did he think himself cunning, but to her, he had won. So with a sigh, she made her decision obvious.

You have an awful lot of front for such an irreputable man!” She hissed under her breath, wings crossed, a cold glare on her face. “3, 2, 1”

“EARTH’S ENERGY BOUNDS ME TO KEEP TRUE TO THIS DEAL,

WE SOLUMNLY SWEAR, AND OUR FETES IT WILL SEAL,

IF WE DO NOT DO WHAT WE SAY WE WILL DO,

LET IT LAY ON THE NAME TILL WE BID LIFE ADUE.”

They had stared so intensely into each other’s eyes, and GriN thought it clear there was something ominous and karma related in what they were saying. Neu looked quite bored. After the two were composed from their tensed positions, Tei’s expression fell calm.

“Okay, then.” She said as she put her hand in the barrier and dragged it apart like a curtain. They all walked through, and while GriN expected it to be special somehow and/or different, the environment didn’t change at all. She looked around slightly disappointed. They looked behind them to see Tei, still sitting there, the gates being invisible the situation looked identical to before only flipped. GriN frowned. This, however, made Tei laugh. “Ya disappointed?!”

“A bit,” GriN sulked, crossing her arms and looking down to the ground.

“Eh, I don’t blame you. Just remember my eye patch, okay you three?” She addressed the trio. They all nodded, and with that, much like her entrance, Tei curled back underneath the water, letting the river reed trees pull back together again.

Squirrel turned and merely kept walking, but GriN had to stare at the inside world for a minute.

“This ‘u such a bleetin’ crazy planut’!” She sighed and smiled. “Ah love it!”

Comments & reviews · 2
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User avatar
ChieTheWriter
Review

"Tei consurgens volumus per portas praemium. Homo per commercia et videte ne forte extra persuadere."

Was that Latin? I know "portas" is gate, "praemium" is reward. "Homo" is man, "videt" (without the "e") is see, and "ne" is lest. I don't know much Latin, but that sure sounded familiar.

You're correct!!! :D This is what i translated into Latin (via Google translate :3): "Tei arise, through gates we'd like to prise. A human trade and a chance to persuade to let us through and see the outside world."

:D Thanks very much for giving this a read!

Oh ok. Google translate does it a little different than our course, so that's why I was confused. :)

User avatar
FeatherPen
Review

Hey Waddlers, I told you I would get to reviewing this. Maybe you were starting to doubt me…

If you are finding that your story is getting all muddled, have you got a story out line any where? There are lots of different ways to try recommended on the forums Outlining your story idea and Plot Your Way are two worth looking at. While just writing has its merits I think you are at they point in HWMTWJALBN (did I get that right?) where a story map may help.

Personally I am against the name change, Grin for me has slightly spooky connotations like the Cheshire cat and the Joker. I prefer Ana. If you are going to use it, GriN is a cool way to write it.

If I was kidnapped and had just woken up bruised with out knowing what was going on I would be franticly looking around for information, trying to work out how to get away, overwhelmed and over imagining things. I understand that Ana/GriN is an easier going person however, is she only merely slightly nervous, supposing she should do something and strolling?

“Where am I? Why are we ‘ere? What did ‘e nap me for? She thought nervously. She supposed she should ask, knowing that she hadn’t really been able to comprehend anything that had happened. She strolled over to him.”


If you don’t want her to be terrified how about making curiosity her motive?


“She replied nervous of his reactions and himself in general.”
Is as odd as my promise to review comment. Try “She replied nervous of him and his (description) reactions.


She pleaded with the sun and was a beggar to the clouds.
Fantastic poetical line

The only type of trees I know to live in marsh/ salt conditions are mangrove trees, they have small shoots which they use to breath and they would have been noticed beneath bare feet. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mangrove other wise plants find it hard to grow near the ocean and in wet swampy areas.

I like they idea that they pass over/trough the line between reality and a fantastical world. And your chapter description is a brilliant tag line.
Happy review day and sorry soon as possible was a little while away.

Thank you for helping me, as usual my poor reaction skills were poor! XD But it's cool if I have YOU to review HWMTWJALBN (yes, you acronym-ed successfully! If I've ever written it "HWiMTWaJALBiN" its just to help with the pronunciation.) Thank you for the mapping idea, as I wish there was an app that asks questions about a story and displays it all in a beautiful ordered way...Pathetic dreams, huh? XD

I was very proud of that line :3 Mangrove...Like humanity. "man". That seems convenient!! The grove of man is inside those mangorve trees! HAZZAR!

No worries!! I wasn't giving up on you, at all! Have no fear, FeatherPen is near! :D

I DONT EVEN KNOW!

Thank you, YWSBFF!!!

If you want to do it digitally there are a few mapping apps but you will have to do your own research to find them as I'm not a fan of writing digitally. Reactions are hard, you have to imagine yourself in their shoes which means most if mine end up as self portraits. So you have to be able to do that and effort out how they would differ. Feather pen over and out.

I found a nice planning website; i honestly didn't think that they existed!!! XD The key to understanding someone's else's perspective: put on their shoes. OMG i might make a short story from that!

ALSO the, in MY opinion, BEST CHAPTER of HWMTWJALBN is on: How We Made The World Just A Little Bit Nicer - TEEDUM, TEEDEY! IT'S PART OF THE GAME WE PLAY!, Episode 10

Hopefully you ENJOY reading it! :D



A true poet does not bother to be poetical. Nor does a nursery gardener scent his roses.
— Jean Cocteau