z

Young Writers Society



Woman

by UrbanNomad


I want a woman
who drifts like pollen

who drifts toward me-
I am the windbreaker
to catch her cloud
and keep her.

I want her
to stay at my side:
arms, torso
breast,
believing in a bond
(also acting on it)

So no moment is solo
two bodies merging
together as a single bird;
all the feathers
and all the flesh

clung together
so as not to let go.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
24 Reviews


Points: 2604
Reviews: 24

Donate
Thu Jun 20, 2013 7:31 pm
Rage wrote a review...



Dude! You're an amazing poet! I'm going through your work right now and it just blows my mind!

This poem, for example, is so soft and sweet yet it overflows with a mesmerizing sense of strength. Those opening lines: "I want a woman / who drifts soft as pollen" may be the most memorable opening lines I've read since I joined this site. It's so subtle and imbued with such beauty!

I also love the way your persona establishes that he wants complete unity with the woman in an effort to show the level of intimacy/passion/love that he expects. This is truly a great poem.

Best wishes, and keep writing :-)




User avatar
22 Reviews


Points: 381
Reviews: 22

Donate
Sun Apr 01, 2012 7:51 pm
InTheTrees says...



This is really beautiful. I have a lot of respect for this poem, and your style.





Your hesitation suggests you are trying to protect my feelings. However, since I have none, I would prefer you to be honest. An artist's growth depends upon accurate feedback.
— LCDR Data