Face Away From

There are many birds
out this evening

There is an icy white
moon as well
it hangs across
the sky like
a frozen blade,

maybe waiting
for some of those birds

or just facing away
from us
and glowing in
the far side of space
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hudz96
Review
hudz96 wrote a review · Fri Mar 30, 2012 1:34 am

Hi Hudz here,

You have a very nice poem.
I just have a few things to point out, if I may. I feel like your poem could have been so much better. Before I began to fully immerse into you poem it ended. It had suddenly ended and the image that you were creating inside my mind went away before I could grab it.
Usually small poems consist of strong impacting words that don’t need elaboration. In truth small poems are harder to make then longer ones. (Im sorry if I sound like a really mean prick) but I truly think that if you add more description so that I could capture the image before it leaves, it would be better. :) but I love how much you have written and I dearly hope that you do elaborate on it.
(If you do then please buzz me on my page and I would love to read the rest, if not its okay)
Luv
Hudz
X
Have a nice day!!



I don't care what the miserable excuse is for showing the death of books, live, on screen. Men, I could understand; but books! -
— Edwin Morgan, From the Video Box 2