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140,259 Literary Works • 673,077 Reviews
Hello, this is Kelisot. I found your poem intriguing with the title "Apostle", which possibly can be a reference for a Greek-originating word meaning disciple. This may possibly refer to the 12 Disciples of Jesus, and also a title used in the Bible, such as Apostle Paul, a famous (and also infamous) disciple/apostle of God.
However, looking at the poem, it seems that your poem is free-versed. I liked the first part of your poem which read:
This could have been interpreted in different perspectives. I viewed this first as a slightly romantic (?) or a relationship between the narrator or a friend, as despite the poem lines being expected from something such as a romance novel, words such as "love" and "especially then" doesn't always mean it's between lovers— it can just be platonic or a friendship.
The poem later becomes more theological with using terms such as "omnipotent" (a characteristic saying that one has infinite, unlimited power), creed (sorta like an oath), or capitalizing the word Being (kind of like monotheistic Abrahamic God is called "God" or "Lord")
And mostly, faith. It was an interesting word used. I interpreted the poem into something alone these lines: the narrator who is speaking is in a special relationship between someone else (doesn't matter what tyep it is, but seems they are quite close) and they believe that it doesn't matter that religion and faith, as they are focusing more in the relationship, due to how strong it is. It seems that this Being they're talking is about the other (might be wrong, not best in English) and they're relationship, they're religion no longer revolves with hatred and bloodshed but love. Eventually, the importance of both the narrator and the friend/lover is their relationship.
Thank you for writing this poem (if you did) or showing this poem. I hope this review encouraged to inspire and make you release your full potential in writing.
Thanks for your review! And yes, the Being in that line was refering to the other person ^-^
Hi there Stringbean! Your poem really intrigued me the first time I read it, and I've been meaning to come back and leave a review c:
(Me popping back to the top after finishing the review to give you a heads up that my review is more musing/interpretation/reaction focused than usual - I found the contents of this poem to be really thought-provoking! And I didn't have much to critique about the technical aspects of the poem; they're simple but very effective for what you're doing. So if you're wondering why I don't really mention the format/the stylistic choices/etc., that would be why. If you'd like some input on those, let me know and I can go back and cover that as well!)
"Apostle" is such a specific, distinct term that definitely has a lot of religious connotations. I was curious if there was a definition for it beyond being one of Jesus' 12 disciples - so I looked it up and Wikipedia gave me this: "An apostle, in its literal sense, is an emissary, from Ancient Greek ἀπόστολος, literally 'one who is sent off', from the verb ἀποστέλλειν, 'to send off'." I'm not sure if you had this specifically in mind when you selected that title, but to me that adds an overarching vibe of ~leaving, moving, sending a message~ to the poem.
I agree with Andrew that the poem feels a bit like a love letter - but not romantic love, not necessarily even familial love. Knowing you identify as aroace (and probably a bit biased because I identify somewhere on that spectrum as well), my first thought is to interpret it as alterous attraction or the kind of vibe you might have in a queer platonic relationship. If I was reading it without that context, though, I would probably slot it into "lover" or "BFF" category since that's clearer cut/more "expected". (The reason I don't view as really feeling like familial love? Is because I can't imagine really placing that much value on having a cup of coffee with a sister or father, to be honest. Perhaps that's just a me thing, though!)
Regardless of what type of relationship you interpret it as, you definitely do a fabulous job of establishing this sense of closeness and connection between the speaker and the person being addressed. I don't know why, but something about the image of sharing a drink of coffee with someone, sheltered in doors in the winter, feels quite intimate to me. The language you use feels personal as well; little phrases like "--especially then." add to that effect.
I think if I had to put my finger on the meaning/take-away of this poem it would be -> that the narrator is reacting to religion, and saying that they don't need religion to have faith. That they can have faith in life, in their relationships, in the people around them, and that in a sense they don't need a god to have faith. You could extrapolate from that and say the narrator is implying that faith in humanity > faith in a god, but I could also just be reading way too much into it at this point! Personally, that message really resonates with me and feels quite empowering. It's like sticking a tongue out at the kinds of arguments that go "oh, you need religion to have morals or be happy or find meaning in life". Obviously, some people are able to find those things in religion, and all the power to them, but that isn't the best fit for everyone!
This message is supported by the way you subvert religious imagery - "The layering of hands on folded hands...will be our prayer for salvation", "with an omnipotent glance into the eyes of / the only Being we each need". Like I mention above, these are examples of the narrator finding faith in their interactions with other people, as opposed to a god. There's something so hard-hitting about the way you choose to phrase it, too. Like you go along with the expected image of hands folded in prayer, far enough that it's very clear where you're going, but then you turn around and make it human-centric. I don't know if what I'm saying even makes sense, but moral of the story is it works super duper well and I love it! xD
Overall, I really enjoyed this poem. Without a doubt A+ in my books! It's a really original concept that you're delving into, I think, and you do it with such grace and thoughtfulness. Honestly, a very significant chunk of what constitutes a "good poem" to me is whether it makes me think; whether it opens me up to a new thought - and yours absolutely did! Which is pretty much the highest compliment I can give. I have literally zero critiques, so just...well done. I hope these ramblings prove useful for you, and as always if you have any questions/want me to elaborate on anything just let me know.
Best,
Seirre <3
Oh my goodness, thank you so much, Sierre!! You hit everything right on the head for what I was going for, which is super cool to see! Poetry can be super personal to the reader and how they interpret it, and it's not often that someone understands it exactly how I did when I was writing. Poems that make me think are my absolute favorite too, so that's such a huge compliment! And you get brownie points for catching that bit about the title, it was 100% intentional (I like playing on different dictionary definitions and etymology and stuff XD).
Thanks for such a thoughtful review, I love hearing everyone's musings <3
Aaaandrew here with a review! I don't normally review poetry, but the religious themes in this one caught me!
First impressions:
As a religious person, the use of religious phrases (belief, laying of hands, prayer of salvation, creed) really hits somewhere I am quite exposed and is quite effective, but I would be curious what kind of effect those words would have on someone who has left religion.
Regardless, the intelligent use of those terms shows that you have been heavily exposed to those ideas.
Overall thoughts:
One could easily interpret this poem as romantic, which I think is a viable option, but the love that is being expressed here both goes under and over romantic love. It is a type of love that can exist inside of romance but is more deep and soulful than 'romantic' feelings. I would call that "familial" love. It's more than friendship, and is shared between brothers, father, and son, husband and wife. It is, as you call it, an almost faith. The funny thing is, in my religion, that familial love is a central feature, so making a true and pure love into something religious is not a hard stretch for me mentally.
Critiques:
I'm not good with poetry, so string, I apologize, but will again get to hear me **philosophize**
(I promise to keep it short this time.)
So, the message of the poem that I am receiving is that simple love between two people is its own form of religion or faith. Which is a lovely idea. The only problem I have with that is, when it comes down to it, people are really imperfect. The last line, "I believe in faith - and my faith lives in you." Is admittedly very beautiful, but by its nature, one infinitely trusting. When you have faith in a divine being, you have faith in perfection, something that can never let you down. That's part of the reason you have faith, to begin with. But to place religious faith in a mortal person is almost terrifying. If they fail you, to whom will you turn?
Now in another way, this is not a critique at all because that's a beautiful idea in it itself.
Compliments:
I really like the line
"...distillation int a creed - into something -ineffable"
All very powerful words that show a rapturous and powerful, yet solid and reasoned love.
That's just my two cents! Hope it helped!
Thanks, and keep writing,
Andrew
Thanks for the review, Andrew! It's really cool to see how a religious person reads this ^-^
(And yesss, you're right, I had a pretty strong religious background
and actually am a person who left religion XD)What a wholesome poem! I think that it’s about having hope and faith in a world of neglect and hate.No one wants to help each other or have a simple conversation anymore.Not no one of course.But a lot of people act this way.If we could only get along with each other this world would be so much better.I hope that you will have a lovely and amazing day and night.
Thanks for your review!