Faded Memories Chapter 4

by Soulkana

Published April 21, 2014

E - Everyone

In Fantasy Novels

I woke up to the sound of birds chirping and the sharp call of Aryiana calling my name. Struggling to remove myself from the warm blanket, I groaned before finally slipping away to start the day. I pulled on one of the few clothes I possessed and walked downstairs to meet her in the dining room.

"What took you so long?" She asked, curiously handing me a slice of buttered toast.

I smiled slightly, "The bed was so comfy." My grin widens when she starts to laugh and we resume eating and allowed the silence to reign in the dining hall.

After finishing breakfast, the two of us headed out to the orchid. Ren had asked us last night if we were willing to pick some of the berries for a pie for later on. We each sorted through the various baskets and took the two with the least amount of holes for gathering.

I couldn't help the slight flashbacks that appeared once I stepped inside the orchid and close to one of the blackberry trees. This memories were coming back slower than before but were more clearer than the day before.

"Jellal, where are you?" Aryiana called out as I hide in one of the oak trees near the center of the forest.

I chuckled softly up in my perch and decided to finally drop down for her. As my feet touch the ground, I call out from behind her, "I'm right here."

Before I could duck, she spun around and landed a fast punch to my face. The force nearly knocks me over and I winced. She lets out a small shriek in shock before shouting, "You know not to sneak up on me like that, Jellal!"

I couldn't help but grin, rubbing the bruise forming on my right cheek. I take hold of her and pull her into a tight hug. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."

I pull out of the flashback and can feel her hand holding my wrist tightly. Her concerned face enters my vision as I attempt to focus back on the present. "I'm fine." I reassured her as I gently pull my hand from her grasp.

"You looked like you were spaced out for a few minutes." She worriedly explains, brushing away some of my violet hair from my eyes.

"I was remembering that time we had been playing here in the forest and I had shocked you by jumping down behind you. You gave me a pretty big bruise for that." I explained, unable to keep a grin off my face at the memory.

She silently watches the butterfly flutter past and I know she's attempting to remembering that event. She finally gives me a grin and vanishes behind one of the bushes full of blueberries. I remain near the blackberries and together we gathered for most of the morning, coming inside midday to relax from the heat.

Ren comes up from the basement to find us in the living room with a deck of cards. We had been debating on a card game when we finally recovered from the many hours picking the berries.

"I still think we should play War." Aryiana grumbled, a competitive glint entering her eyes and I have a feeling that she was ruthless when playing any sort of game.

I smirked, unable to take the challenge and begin to set the cards up for the game. Ren chuckled from the doorway and we turn to see her covered in what looked like bright green glaze and I could faintly smell the clay from her pottery works on her.

"I wish you luck, Jellal." Her parting words leave me both confused but determined to beat Aryiana.

We finish the first round hours later and I find myself gaping at my friend in shock. She was grinning ear to ear in such a smug victory that I twitched. Picking up the cards, I hissed, 'Best out of three!" There was no way I would be giving up now. I was gong to beat her.

Several hours passed and she won all but one and I sighed in defeat. I had forgotten how good she had been at cards and even now I could barely keep up. We set aside the card when we smelled the sweet scent of blueberry and blackberries cooking from the kitchen.

I helped Aryiana up and we go explore the scent, curious to know what was being made. We entered the kitchen to find Ren placing a set of muffins in the oven as well as a pie sitting on the window to cool. We both sigh. It would be awhile before we could have some but the smell was heavenly.

Ren laughed at our hungry gazes at the pie. "The muffins are available when they finish after they cool if you wish to take a seat and wait."

We scrambled to the table and quietly begin to wait for the muffins that smelled just as delicious as the large pie on the window. I had the sudden memory of enjoying blueberries and couldn't wait to try them.

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
Noelle
Review
Noelle wrote a review Review · Apr 27, 2014

Hi there! Noelle back again for another Review Day review! Tired of me yet?? ;)

This was another great character development chapter. It's nice for Ariyana and Jellal to have this time together. Obviously Jellal did something terrible to Ariyana in the first place, but now they seem to be patching up the holes in their relationship. I just can't tell if they're just simply friends or if there's more to it. I think I'm picking up the hints, but I could just be reading it wrong.

Alright, along those lines I've found that Ariyana and Jellal are perhaps moving too fast? There was that first encounter when Jellal came back that Ariyana was a bit turned off from him. There was some anger in her voice. But ever since the drawing scene, they've become best friends again and do everything together. That's a bit of a jump, don't you think? Ariyana was really hurt by what Jellal did. If she was truly that hurt, it would take her a while longer to get over it, right?

I'm with Messenger on this one. I wonder when the villain will come in. We've got our two heroes here, but no bad guys so far. Maybe Jellal is the real villain; to himself and to Ariyana. Wouldn't that be something?

Keep writing!
**Noelle**

User avatar
Messenger
Review
Messenger wrote a review Review · Apr 27, 2014

Messenger here, and this time within the time range i am supposed to review your works :P So, shall we begin! Last chapter was pretty good.

A few nitpicks

This memories were coming back slower than before but were more clearer than the day before.

"this" should be the, or these.

It would be awhile before we could have some but the smell was heavenly.

You need a comma after the word "some"

"The muffins are available when they finish after they cool if you wish to take a seat and wait."

This sentence is really awkward and kind of redundant. I'd try to re-phrase it like ' "The muffins will be available as soon as they cool, if you two are willing to wait." '

Um, I'm not sure if those weird maze-looking things at the end are on purpose or on accident, but either way I don't know how they got there.

Wow, when the flashback happened I didn't realize it was a flashback at first. Maybe try putting it in italics to not confuse readers. It really threw me off for a few seconds. :)

Hehehehe go figure Aryiana wins the card game. I really like your characters so far! I am wondering to see where you are going with this, and if perhaps there will be a villain coming . . . hmm . . . can I have the pie? :) :D

I like your use of detail. you don't tell too much, nor too little. Although I'd like a little bit more on what they are dressed like, and try adding some mannerisms that each individual character has. And just for less confusion, try putting the name of the person that the POV is so we know who the "I" is.

~Messenger



Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.
— Corrie Ten Boom