Once upon a time, there was a bunny rabbit. His name was Floppy Ears. He was white and extra cuddly and extra cute. One day, he was hopping around, but his ears kept tripping him because they were floppy. That’s why he was known as Floppy Ears. He stopped and tilted his head, trying to get his ears out of his face, but he was not successful. As he was doing this, all the animals started laughing at him. “Floppy Ears, you’re so clumsy!” they called out. This made Floppy Ears sad. He hopped slowly, but he ended up tripping anyway. Then an old grasshopper came out. The grasshopper was old and wise because grasshoppers are always old and wise. He looked at Floppy Ears and took pity on him, so he jumped in front of him and bowed.
“Hello Floppy Ears,” he said, very politely. “I have noticed your plight and I have decided to help you. Because I am an old and wise grasshopper, I have thought up a plan for you.”
Floppy Ears looked at him hopefully with big, bunny eyes. “A plan?” he squeaked.
“Yes, a plan,” said the old and wise grasshopper. “I can tie up your ears and that way you’ll never have to worry about tripping on your ears again.”
“But how will you tie it up?” Floppy Ears said. “We have no shoestring,” he said.
“You may not have any shoestring, but I have shoestring,” the old and wise grasshopper said. He bent down and unlaced his Nikes and, taking the shoestring, he tied up Floppy Ears’s ears. “There you go,” he said. “You will never trip on your ears again.”
Floppy Ears nodded knowingly, tilting his head to look at the old wise grasshopper. Then he kicked the grasshopper into a concrete wall. Formic acid, which is what grasshopper guts are made out of, oozed all over the wall, and the old and wise grasshopper died.
“Thank you very much,” Floppy Ears said happily before hopping away.
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125,022 Literary Works • 672,752 Reviews
I kind of like.. really love this.
And I'm not reading into it.
It's a spoof thingy. I am fully aware.
And it is an amazing one.
This work is like a fine wine. My appreciation for it only grows as it ages.
I think this story shows that people bully people who aren't as big as they are. Love the twist! The murder at the end is cleverly presented in storybook form!
Hi Snoink! I've read over your piece (no kidding), and I just love your creativity!
Not only you changed the outcome of your usual-type fairy tale, it was still happy... to an extent. The grasshopper sure didn't like it. Your story is unique not only because of that, but also because you had the elements to a successful fairy tale. It contained some violence (mandatory for any fairy tale), vivid, magical characters, and an... interesting story plot. Keep it up, we need more people like you in the world!
How did you even come up with this? I could just portray a tiny little grasshopper with these big, athletic boots, in my mind!*stops praising and realizes that she is late for a class* Bravo to you!
Wow. That was quite the unexpected twist! What made Floppy Ears do such a thing? I didn't notice anything the grasshopper did that was antagonistic.
Also,
You've got two instances of said here, which I don't think you need.
Overall, well-written, interesting, and amusing (albeit shockingly violent) story. Makes me look at long eared bunnies in a totally different way.
Oh no! Don't change it to 'an ungrateful bunny' because we might suspect the end before!
I don't know if what Teague said was true, but I didn't look for any hidden, profound meaning. It was just a funny, different, easy read, it was a nice change from the mind-boggling chapters I usually read.
Thanks for making me laugh, Snoink.
Tanya
This was refreshing! Finally a bunny who isn't so cuddly.
I have an idea for a title if you are so inclined to change it...
An Ungrateful Bunny
At least you made me laugh. (: There is always that. I guess I could say it was...interesting.
Trust your instincts. XD The people who are pretending it's profound basically hate me... yes, I'm looking at you, Teague.
Anyway, it was meant as a parody piece. See Nate's blog entry here: weblog_entry.php?POST_ENTRY_URL=33308
I'm going to be honest and say that when I first looked at this I couldn't believe it was a story that someone who's *checks* 21 would write, then the rabbit killed the grasshopper! My brain went, okay this is definitely not your average story, but it's so early in the morning and I'm not being very profound yet, so I resorted to reading everyone's comments to get it.
Well, now it makes sense and all I can say is that I am very very impressed.
But! But! First you need to know about the periodic table in order to appreciate formic acid! Formic acid, also known as methanoic acid, has the molecular formula of CH2O2. Since Oxygen is so electronegative and the hydrogen is so acidic, due to the positive charge on Carbon, it disassociates, rendering it with a very low kPa level. But you have to learn the periodic table first or else you don't know that the Carbon is positive which makes the Oxygen more ready to give up its proton.
That was really funny! I loved it. As others have said, it's extremely thought-provoking.
Serial Killer Bunnies... morbid yet effective. I will be wary when I next meet a rabbit.
Formic acid, which is what grasshopper guts are made out of,
Now that's the sort of stuff they should be teaching us in Science, not the Periodic table!
Brilliant job, I don't think I've ever seen a piece of writing of this quality.
Such a selfish bunny, tsk tsk.
)
(Teague needs to stop thinking so deeply on such matters
Snoinkie, this story is hilarious. I started laughing when I first read it and made my sisters read it. . . they made my mom read it, and they all like it. XD It kind of lets you know how morbid people secretly are.
Also, at the end, the bunny says "Thank you" happily? That's... slightly really, really twisted and evil of the bunny. How dare it?
This makes my day everytime I read it. xD Well done, Snoinkie!
Juniper
Oh. So he kills the one person that's nice to him? Kinda makes you want to stop helping people...
Anyways, I found it sort of disturbing, but otherwise nice. It wasn't very thought provoking. It just sort of felt like you wrote a continuing story with your friends, and you were all just fooling around and laughing. Doesn't sound serious, so I'm not going to take it seriously.
Have a nice day!
ofir
I have to be honest: when I first read this, I didn't read too much into it, like Reyu, and thought it was one of those bad examples you read about in the knowledge base. And then I read Teague`s comment, and it all made sense to me. The undercurrent is so strong; I was shell shocked. It went from a stupid story to a completely meaningful fable with a serious moral behind it.
Amazing job. Now I shall be off to watch CSI: NY, since CSI: Miami doesn`t seem to be on.
Tata!
- Avery
Nate thinks profound and superb... I think rushed an unimaginative :(
I would really like to give praise but I didn't like it. No, I am not reading very deep into it... Should I?
M Night Shyamalan meets Disney.
A very, very interesting tale.
This is obviously designed to represent the plight of nations. Here we have a country, in the form of a rabbit, that is quite peaceful -- "cuddly and extra cute," if you will. But it has a problem, an internal problem, represented by the problematic ears. It is the type of problem that does not go away without outside aide, but this poor little nation has no allies. It only has other countries mocking its plight, for unknown reasons -- maybe it isn't as technologically advanced, maybe it's culturally different. The specifics don't matter. It is the principle that means something. However, at the end of this paragraph, we see a bold new nation step forward to aide the poor bunny. What a brilliant plot twist! I commend you.
And here we have this new nation establishing a dialogue with our original nation. This is clearly meant to represent the first step to international peace -- understanding between each country. The grasshopper's peaceful willingness to help find a compromise to problems is representative of what nations need to do to come to terms with each other and to coexist peacefully on this earth.
Here we have an interesting new development in the plot -- the rabbit knows that there is a solution out there, but cannot get to the solution independently. Thus, our poor little nation needs to rely on the peaceful aid of the grasshopper's nation to resolve its problems. And, thanks to the dialogue established prior to this transaction, such a resolution is a peaceful one -- meaning the rabbit's nation doesn't need to use force to extort the solution from the grasshopper's nation.
Obviously, we have a drastic change in events here. It's a sort of wake-up call from the idealism of the prior bits of this story to the reality that these peaceful transactions rarely happen in actuality, which serves multiple purposes. First, it alerts the reader to a dramatic injustice in the world, and second, it sends out a call for action. It's quite the powerful message -- we all dream of peaceful exchanges between countries, each working to resolve the problems of its neighbour in a peaceful fashion, but it doesn't always happen. This should make the people of the world outraged, but surprisingly, it doesn't. This story is clearly a wonderful message to the people of the world -- rise up and call for peace! Peace must be an international effort as well as an individual one.
Also, the concrete wall is a bit of a deus ex machina.
*stars*
Teague
x
You are amazing and I love you forever. <3
Woah!
I was reading the story thinking that this was just another story about rabbits, when all of a sudden the bunny killed the grasshopper. Definitely made me see the story in a different light, and I had to read the story a second time. The murder at the end gives the story a twist and makes you question the bunny's tranquil existence.
So thank you for providing me with a thought-provoking work that blurs the lines between genres. Profound and superb.