Frostpaw awoke to the sounds of a small kit. She opened her eyes to Runningkit, staring back at her curiously. Frostpaw sat up. "What are you doing here?" Frostpaw hissed.
Runningkit smiled. "I 'wanna' see what the apprentice's den felt like!" She whispered. "It's awesome!" She meowed, and looked around.
"You need to get back into the nursery!" Pearlpaw meowed quietly. "Roseclaw must be worried sick!"
Runninkit shook her head. "Nope. She's asleep with Blackkit and Talonkit. I just ran over here, and nobody saw me!" Runningkit mewed excitedly.
Dawnpaw turned over in his sleep. Frostpaw lowered her voice. "Okay, but you still need to go back into the nusery before anyone notices you're gone!" She meowed, with a hint of a laugh in her voice.
"Okay." Runningkit sighed.
Frostpaw smiled. "You mean not even the night gaurd saw you?" Frostpaw asked.
"Actually, Rabbitears was asleep." Runningkit yawned.
Frostpaw ushered her out of the Apprentice's den, and back into the nursery. "Don't worry. You'll be an apprentice in a couple of days!"
Runninkit smiled. "Okay." She mewed excitedly, and she disappeared into the nursery.
Frostpaw padded into the apprentice's den, feeling much better ever since the fight with CloudClan. She curled up beside Owlpaw, and rested.
When she awoke, sunlight was just pouring into the apprentice's den. Frostpaw got up, stretched, and walked out. She padded past the Medicine Cat Den and heard whispering inside. Frostpaw crept forward and listened quietly.
"You mean I'm right?" A voice mewed. It was Sparkletail.
"Yep." Whisperstream meowed. "Should be due in less than a moon." She continued. "But you never know. Sometimes they come earlier, sometimes later. It's hard to tell exactly." Whisperstream finished.
"Okay, thank you." Sparkletail, replied, and padded out. She bumped into Frostpaw. "Were you-?"
Frostpaw interupted. "So, less than a moon huh. We need a couple of extra cats around here. Apprentice's jobs are tough!" Frostpaw said in one breath.
Sparkletail smiled. "Stonemouth doesn't know. Please don't tell him! I want it to be a secret." She pleaded.
"No worries." Frostpaw replied. "My lips are sealed." She smiled.
Sparkletail nodded thankfully.
Frostpaw nodded and moved on towards the fresh-kill pile. She took a mouse, squirell, and a vole up in her jaws. She walked back to the apprentice's den.
Frostpaw dropped a mouse by Dawnpaw, and a squirell next to Owlpaw. She nudged them both awake. Owlpaw yawned, and looked at the squirell. He smiled greatfully, and dug in. Dawnpaw stretched and started eating the mouse.
"So what are you guys doing today?" Dawnpaw asked with a mouth full of mouse.
Frostpaw swallowed. "Stonemouth's taking me to the Rabbitholes today. I hope I can catch a bunch of rabbits." Frostpaw meowed.
"I'm gathering moss, and branches for the elder's den." Owlpaw meowed. "Waterfoot says he feels too cold at night." Owlpaw rolled his eyes. "Well, I better get to it." He sighed, and stood up.
"See you later Owlpaw!" Frostpaw meowed to him, and Owlpaw flicked his tail.
Dawnpaw finished eating his mouse. "Sparkletail said we'd probably hunt today, maybe we can hunt with you!" He pointed out. "If not, we'll probably go to the stream near CloudClan." His eyes grew dark. If any CloudClan cat steps onto our territory, I'll claw it's eyes out!" He meowed. "Especially that small grey apprentice you told me about, what was his name again?" He asked.
"Leappaw." Frostpaw hissed the word after she had finished her mouse.
Dawnpaw brightened. "Well, bye for now." He meowed, and left the apprentice's den. Frostpaw followed him out.
Sunstar was outside talking to Flamefur. Frostpaw dipped her head respectively, and smiled giddily remembering last night's talk. Sunstar smiled at her, and Flamefur walked over.
"Have you seen Dawnpaw?" She asked Frostpaw.
"Yep, he's right over there." Frostpaw meowed, and pointed with her tail.
"Thanks." She meowed warmly, and she bounded over to him.
Frostpaw walked over to Stonemouth who was washing his paws. She smiled a little remembering Sparkletail. "Are you ready to go?" She asked him, her paws bouncing with anticipation.
"Yes." He said. "Flamefur and Dawnpaw are coming with us," he paused, "I'm worried about Sparkletail, she said she's been having belly pains." He meowed worriedly.
Frostpaw held in a laugh. "So Flamefur is mentoring Dawnpaw for now?" She asked.
"Yep." He sighed, and stood up. "Here they come now. Let's go." He meowed, and padded out of camp. Frostpaw smiled, and followed him.
Once they reached the rabbitholes. Stonemouth stopped. Flamefur breathed in deeply, and followed the scent of rabbit, Dawnpaw followed. Stonemouth started stalking a squirell that had wandered out into the moor. Crystalpaw followed, and they hunted.
After the two warriors and apprentices were finished, they had caught 3 rabbits, and one squirell. They carried them back to camp. After Frostpaw dropped her rabbit on top of the fresh kill pile, she padded over to the Elder's Den to see Owlpaw.
"Hello?" She called into the small den.
"Come in." Waterfoot growled.
Frostpaw padded in. "Where's Owlpaw?" She asked the grumpy elder.
"He left a few minutes ago to get some moss for me." He meowed tiredly.
Frostpaw sat down. "Will you tell me a story." She asked him.
Waterfoot smiled a little. "Sure. I'll tell you about how when we first came here. I was just a young warrior when we traveled. My mother had stayed back near our old territory, but my father came with us." He meowed.
Frostpaw laid down. "What was your old territory like?" She asked him.
Waterfoot strained to remember. "I don't really know, there were four territories, like we have today, but they were becoming crowded, and the prey was scarce, so some of us, one from each clan, left to find a different place to live." He licked his lips. "Sunstar, who was Firepelt, became leader of our clan when we arrived. He was a young warrior like me, but very kind and intellegent. I remember the other leaders too. Moonstar was once Lightsong, Treestar was Mouseears, and Cloudstar was Whitestripe."
Frostpaw listened intently.
"They each changed their names, to match the area in which they lived in." His eyes grew clouded. "I do remember a cat, very faintly that I was fond of, Leaffall, no that wasn't it, Leafnose?" He said, troubled.
Frostpaw nodded. "It's okay." She said, and smiled.
Waterfoot continued his story. "So after we arrived, we followed the same warrior code the other clans had, and shared the same beliefs." He finished.
Owlpaw padded in with a mouth full of moss. He lined it around Waterfoot's nest. "There you go." He said, and stepped back.
Waterfoot purred. "Thank you."
Owlpaw nodded, and Frostpaw stood up. "Thanks for the story Waterfoot!" Frostpaw meowed, and she headed back into camp with Owlpaw.
"I'm going to go rest, that moss was really hard to find! I had to go all the way near Big Rock to get it!" He meowed.
Frostpaw smiled. "Okay." She meowed, and watched him go into the Apprentice's den. A moan came from inside of the Medicine Cat's Den. Frostpaw ran in. Sparkletail was lying down in a nest, and Whisperstream was next to her, encouraging her to eat some small berries. Whisperstream looked up at her with tired eyes. "Can I help with anything?" She asked her.
"No, she just has a bellyache." Whisperstream meowed, looking at Sparkletail.
"She knows." Sparkletail meowed.
Whisperstream smiled. "The kits will come a lot sooner than I thought. A couple of days I'd think. You know you really should tell Stonemouth." Whisperstream told Sparkletail.
Sparkletail nodded. "Okay." She said, and tried to stand up.
"No, I meant I would go get him for you." Whisperstream laughed, and started to head out.
"I can." Frostpaw spoke up. "We just came back from the Rabbitholes."
Whisperstream nodded, and Frostpaw bounded off. "Stonemouth." She called.
Stonemouth looked up from a mouse he was chewing. "What?"
"It's Sparkletail in the Medicine Cat's Den, she-" Frostpaw started, but Stonemouth was already half way to the Medicine Cat's Den. Frostpaw followed him.
"Sparkletail, what's the matter?" Stonemouth asked worriedly, he turned to Whisperstream. "What's wrong?" He meowed.
Sparkletail laughed. "Nothings wrong." She meowed. "I'm going to have kits." She meowed excitedly.
Stonemouth shook his head. "You are?" He asked. "Yes! This is wonderful!" He turned back to Whisperstream. "When are they due?" He asked her.
Whisperstream smiled. "About 2 or 3 days." She meowed.
Stonemouth smiled broadly. "I'm going to be a father!" He said happily.
Whisperstream spoke. "She really needs to rest though."
Frostpaw and Stonemouth nodded, and they both exited the Medicine Cat's Den. Stonemouth smiled. "I'm going to be a father." He sighed.
"Uhh, what about your mouse?" Frostpaw asked, amused.
"Oh yes. My mouse." Stonemouth said happily, and he bounded over to it like a kit.
Frostpaw laughed, and looked up at the sky. It was getting darker already. She went into the Apprentice's Den, and laid down next to Owlpaw, feeling oddly tired. She thought about Runningkit, Talonkit, and Blackkit, who would be apprentice's soon. Frostpaw smiled, and fell asleep.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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I still like this, but the spelling and grammar need work.
I'm very glad there was some backstory about the new Clans, otherwise I'd be so confused, lol!
Also, it's okay to end a chapter with a character falling asleep--on occasion. However, if you do so more than once or twice in a row it can get annoying.
Kits! They were always my favorite part of the books. They're so cute. I hope nothing happens to the upcoming kits in the chapters I'll be reading soon, but I have a bad feeling about them...
Hey! Wisegirl22 here to review your fanfiction! I see it's based off of Warriors. That's good, amazing series.
Or maybe it's just your keys or something. "Guard".
So, in this wonderfully cute dialogue, wanna has an appropriate apostrophe at the end. I appreciate that, except the apostrophe at the beginning is not needed. You can take it off.
"I 'wanna' see what the apprentice's den felt like!"
Small spelling error. "Runningkit", not "Runninkit".
"Runninkit shook her head."
Another spelling error. "Nursery"!
"Okay, but you still need to go back into the nusery before anyone notices you're gone!"
What do you have against spelling?
"You mean not even the night gaurd saw you?"
Spelling again! "Squirrel".
"She took a mouse, squirell, and a vole up in her jaws."
So far the content is really nice. I am enjoying your plot! It seems so much like the other series, and I like the mention of CloudClan. Just here, all numbers in professional books are usually written out. So, therefore, "3" should be too. And, the misspelling of squirrel. Might want to fix that in other spots as well.
"After the two warriors and apprentices were finished, they had caught 3 rabbits, and one squirell."
During the part where the elder is talking about all the Clan leaders-in the books, aren't all the leaders only supposed to change the last part of their name? For example, Whitestripe would be Whitestar, according to the warrior code.
Overall this chapter is extremely nice, I would suggest coming up with a title for your book. Other than those nitpicks I already pointed out and what I said just then, nothing is wrong! Everything was pretty much great. Good job!
-wisegirl22
I have everything against my spelling.
Just kidding, sometimes I'm just in a big hurry to type things....
Thanks for the review! 
Hehe, Snazzy. It's nothing to worry about. You're very welcome!
I notice we are on different teams....
I better stop talking...the Grinches might have my head for this... 
Ya...
Yay! Super long one!
I just saw it and couldn't resist.
For me, it just increased my fondness for this story because by Waterfoot telling us about the past, it shows us that things happened before Frostpaw came along.
I mean, we know that stuff happened before then, but it just shows us that there are secrets for Frostpaw to explore, and that you, the author, knows the backstory and didn't just create one cat to have an adventure and make awesome things happen. If you understand what I'm trying to say. 
I was just going to put that this didn't make any sense, then I looked back at it and realized that it made sense if you put a comma. So, there should be a comma after 'little')
)
Another awesome chapter read and reviewed. <3 But, one more thing. I liked the fact that you were expressing Frostpaw's emotions by having her smile, I think it really helped me bond with her more. But after reading the whole thing, I realized that you used the word 'smiled' a lot, and it kind of became tedious.
Maybe you could sometimes put something different to express her happiness, but just a suggestion, there's really nothing incorrect about smiling a lot. 

<3 Keep writing, you're doing so awesome!
Yeah, I'm reviewing it even though you haven't asked.
So, exciting things are happening; like Stonemouth becoming a father and that story Waterfoot told. Now THAT was interesting.
Anyway, correction time!
She opened her eyes to Runningkit, staring back at her curiously. (Maybe you could put 'who was' in front of 'staring')
She meowed, and looked around. (Since you already put 'whispered', 'she meowed' is a little redundant. Maybe you could put, "She gazed fondly at her surroundings." Or something like that)
Frostpaw padded into the apprentice's den, (This would sound better if you put 'back' in front of 'into')
"So, less than a moon huh. (There should be a comma after 'moon' and there should be a question mark instead of a period)
"My lips are sealed." She smiled. (This would sound better if you put 'back' after 'smiled')
She took a mouse, squirell, and a vole up in her jaws. ('Squirrel' is how you spell it)
He smiled greatfully, and dug in. (First off, 'greatfully' should be 'gratefully', and the comma in this sentence in unnecessary)
Frostpaw meowed to him, and Owlpaw flicked his tail. (This would sound better if you put, "and Owlpaw flicked his tail in acknowledgement.")
Frostpaw meowed, and pointed with her tail. (This would sound better if you put, "Frostpaw meowed, pointing with her tail."
Frostpaw walked over to Stonemouth who was washing his paws. (There should be a comma after 'Stonemouth')
She smiled a little remembering Sparkletail. (At first, I had a hard time understanding this sentence.
Once they reached the rabbitholes. Stonemouth stopped. (Two things; First, last time you said 'rabbitholes' you capitalized the 'R'. And second, there should not be a period after 'rabbitholes', there should be a comma)
Flamefur breathed in deeply, and followed the scent of rabbit, Dawnpaw followed. (This would sound better if you put, "Dawnpaw trailing behind him.")
"Will you tell me a story." She asked him. (There should be a question mark not a period after 'story')
"It's okay." She said, and smiled. ('Meowed' not 'said'
There you go!
Also, I just wanted to comment about the review AttackOfTheFlash wrote. I don't think Stonemouth contradicted himself by smiling at first, then sighing. When I read it, I thought that by sighing, he was trying to digest that he was having kits, and maybe that he thought it would be tiring to have them. But it's obvious by the way he acted that he is excited about them.
I'm loving this fanfiction so much!
~BookWolf
I was going to ask you to review it, but I had to leave just as I had published it....
Thanks for reviewing it anyway!
I agree that I have a "slight" (NOT
) overuse of smiling....if you've ever read any of my reviews, I smile....A LOT!!
!!!!
Anyway....thanks for all of the help! 
Lol!
You're welcome! <3
Hello! I'm Flash! Before I begin, I'd like to say that it's been a few years since I've read a Warrior cats book, so this work reminded me of my middle school days of reading Warriors.
Hmm... The first thing I noticed is a dialogue mistake like this for example:
"Oh yes. My mouse." Stonemouth said happily, and he bounded over to it like a kit. (There are a couple other things wrong with this sentence, but let's talk about the biggest issue first)
The sentence should be:
"Oh yes. My mouse," Stonemouth said happily...
See the comma instead of the period? Use a comma instead of a period (unless it's a interrogative or exclamatory sentence).
Another thing is that there are run-ons and comma splices in this work. Instead of dragging the sentence out with commas (which makes comma splices and run-ons), just make another sentence out of it. Here's an example:
"She went into the apprentice's den. She laid down next to Owlpaw, feeling oddly tired."
That flows better, doesng it? They may be shorter sentences, but it's better than a splice.
Also, I noticed things like, "Stonemouth shook his head. 'You are?" he asked." There are more examples, too. But doing something like this constantly can be redundant. Putting either "Stonemouth shook his head, 'You are?'" or "'You are?' Stonemouth asked." Putting both is okay, just not all the time.
And when Stonemouth smiled and then sighed after saying he's going to be a father is that he contracticed his smile by sighing. Unless it was a sarcastic smile, of course.
"...would be apprentice's soon" should just be "apprentices."
"Squirrell" is "squirrel."
"He liked his lips." I'm pretty sure cats don't have lips...
Okay! That's all the nitpicks I have. Overall, it was a good piece that I enjoyed reading!
-Flash
Thanks for the review!
, the sigh was like an "ahhh....life is good, life....isssss....gooooodd..."
If that makes sense. Of course I just now realized that my readers can't see what I'm thinking...
So I'll change it to something like "Sighed happily," or, "Sighed with relief" (of knowing that she was having kits, and the belly pains weren't anything to be really concerned about. Thanks for the help! 
No problem!
And I'm sorry for the confusion about the sigh C:
You don't have to apologize. Sometimes I have the story written out in my head, and I skip little important details like that.
Yeah, I do the same exact thing sometimes!