Frostpaw awoke to the sounds of birds chirping. She tried to stand, but her paws wouldn't cooperate.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Whisperstream meowed. "Your wounds will reopen."
"Where's Owlpaw?" Frostpaw asked dryly.
"Battle training with Hazellegs." She answered, and dropped a piece of moss soaked in water.
Frostpaw drank from it. "When will I be able to leave and hunt again?" She asked.
"Tomorrow you should be fine. There were only about three wounds, but they were deep ones."
"He was only an apprentice!" Frostpaw sputtered. "He would've killed me if it weren't for Flamefur!"
"Yep, you're one lucky cat!" Whisperstream laughed. She walked over to Frostpaw. "You are also lucky to have a brother like Owlpaw. He's been bringing in more prey than any cat, and he insists on extra battle-training." Whisperstream sighed. "I had a brother like that once." She said distantly. "I'll be back. I have to go get some more herbs." She finished, and left.
Frostpaw sighed, and stretched her paws, yawned, and tried to get some sleep.
Whisperstream walked out of camp towards the small pool of water near MoonClan. She stared into the reflective waters. Her small grey and white face smiled back at her. She moved her paw across the image and it faded. CloudClan's medicine cat, Skyfall, had been strangely hostile the last time they visited the MoonCave together. So did Ripplefur, TreeClan's medicine cat. Crystalheart from MoonClan was nice enough, but she was nice to everyone. Maybe too nice, Whisperstream thought. She stared back into the water and saw another face beside hers.
"Rabbitears?" She said, and turned around, but no one was there. She sighed, grabbed a couple of watermint leaves, and headed back to camp.
A yowl pierced through the air. She dropped the leaves, and ran toward the sound, right next to CloudClan border. There she saw the shimmering images of a blue-grey she-cat, a black tom, a pale grey tom, and a bright orange she-cat. They stood with grim faces, surrounded with blood, that was sticking to the ground. The images started to fade.
"No!
Please, wait!" She yowled, but the images were gone, along with
the blood. Whisperstream shook her head, and left the area to
retrieve her water mint. She snatched it up and walked back to camp.
Whisperstream couldn't wait to visit the MoonCave in a couple of
days. StarClan had some explaining to do.
Frostpaw was running. Her paws carried her effortlessly across the ground but she did not smile. She ran past Big Rock, the place for gatherings, and then along the CloudClan border. She could already hear the yowls slice through the air. Then she heard a specific one. She ran even faster. "Frostpaw!" Some one was calling her name. "Frostpaw, Frostpaw!"
Frostpaw awoke to find Dawnpaw at her side. "Frostpaw!" Wake up!" He whispered in her ear. "Whisperstream was afraid your wounds would reopen," he paused, "and I was too." He finished.
"Where's Owlpaw?" Frostpaw asked.
"He just came in from hunting." Dawnpaw answered.
Just on cue, Owlpaw walked in with a mouse. "Here you go." He put the mouse down in fron of her.
Whisperstream walked in with a bundle of herbs. "Now get out! Frostpaw needs her space!" She said sternly. Both Dawnpaw and Owlpaw left. Frostpaw ate the mouse.
Whisperstream checked her wounds. "You look okay to me!" She said. "Just no hunting or battle training till tomorrow!"
Frostpaw nodded and stood up slowly. She walked out towards the nursery. She wanted to see the kits. They always made her laugh. "Roseclaw?" She called softly. "Roseclaw?"
"Come in." Roseclaw answered.
Frostpaw walked into the nursery to three mewing kits.
"Frostpaw!" One squeaked. "Watch this!" He attacked viciously at a leaf.
"Now Talonkit, remember what I told you." Roseclaw said softly.
"Fighting isn't everything." Talonkit mumbled. "I know, but it's still cool!" He said, and Frostpaw laughed.
"Look how fast I am!" Said a second kit. Frostpaw recognized her as Runningkit. Runningkit rushed around a the nursery, and then plopped down on the ground. "I'm 'gonna' be as fast as you one day!" She said, grinning up at Frostpaw.
"I'm sure you will, maybe even faster!" Frostpaw said.
A small black kit was practicing his crouch. "Look at me!" I'm gonna be the best hunter in all of SunClan!" He mewed excitedly.
"Blackkit," Roseclaw said, "Remember, being a warrior isn't all about fighting, speed, or hunting. Sometimes it's just about having the courage to do the right thing." She finished.
Frostpaw smiled as Blackkit, Talonkit, and Runningkit went to their mother to rest. "I just can't wait to be an apprentice!" Talonkit said. "I bet it's super important..." He murmured, and soon they were all fast asleep.
Frostpaw yawned. "It looks like I should be heading to bed too!" Frostpaw said quietly, and she slipped out of the nursery. Frostpaw saw Stonemouth and Sunstar emerging out of Sunstar's den. She padded over to them.
"I've heard a great deal about you Frostpaw." Sunstar praised her. "Great job fighting that apprentice! I heard you gave him a few scratched he won't forget in a hurry." He said. "Are you feeling better?"
"Yes, thank you." Frostpaw said.
Stonemouth smiled down on Frostpaw. "I'm glad you are okay." He said. "Hazellegs is too. He may seem like a tough cat on the outside, but on the inside, he's not that bad." He said.
Frostpaw had a hard time believing that, but she smiled anyway. "Goodnight!" She said.
Sunstar nodded and he motioned for Stonemouth to follow him back into his den.
Frostpaw found a place next to Dawnpaw in the apprentice's den. She settled next to his golden-orange pelt, and fell asleep.
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125,013 Literary Works • 672,844 Reviews
Yay, another story of yours!
Okay, so...I liked the writing. I have to say, it waste exceptional, but it wasn't bad.
The plot seems cohesive and, well, like what a "Warriors" fanfic should be. It's been a while since I read the series, but this seems consistent, except for the existence of SunClan. Is that your own creation? If so, cool! Just make sure it's different from the canon clans.
My big question is: Where is chapter one, part one? *looks frantically in your portfolio*
I wanted to read that!
This is really well written! I'd just like to point out that you write almost identically to the Hunters, which is really good, but you should also try to create a slightly different writing style with your own signature on it.
I also think that the descriptive words and vivid images of the vision etc were amazing!! It really leaves you wondering what the heck it meant. <33
Okay, so this one is much more exciting than the first!
And it's longer. 
You've really peaked my curiosity with that vision Whisperstream had. Like, who were those cats? Why were they covered in blood? 
This story is obviously going to be packed with adventure and mystery. 
Maybe instead of using 'said' you could use 'meowed'? 
I just got used to reading it like that...... 
Your writing is improving so much, and I'm loving your character's names. Like, Crystalheart and Rabbitears, I doubt Erin Hunter would have ever used those. 
They are just so unique and awesome. <3 I would suggest describing your main character's emotion more, though. I think it would give us more insight into her personality. We already know that she's a great cat with a good heart, we know that just by her actions. But what about on a deeper level? What are her dislikes, what are her fears? We need to know these things to become REALLY attached the the characters in the story. 
Here are my corrections;
surrounded with blood, that was sticking to the ground. (I think the comma before 'that' is unnecessary, and you should add a 'the' after 'with')
Her paws carried her effortlessly across the ground but she did not smile. (There should be a comma before 'but')
Just on cue, Owlpaw walked in with a mouse. (I think 'Just on cue' is awkward and makes the sentence weird. Maybe you should put, 'Right then, Owlpaw walked in with a mouse')
He put the mouse down in fron of her. (You forgot the 't' in 'fron')
"You look okay to me!" She said. "Just no hunting or battle training till tomorrow!" (All those exclamation points make it hard to read. I've read some famous writers' tips and they've really helped me a lot with my writing. But one of them said not to use exclamation points unless absolutely necessary. Just a thought though, you can still use them, it's not like they are incorrect)
"Come in." Roseclaw answered. (Maybe you should put, "Come in." Came Roseclaw's reply.)
Runningkit rushed around a the nursery, (The 'a' in this sentence I think was a typo)
"I'm sure you will, maybe even faster!" Frostpaw said. (I think for this you should use something other than 'said'. Maybe 'cheered happily' or something like that)
"It looks like I should be heading to bed too!" Frostpaw said quietly, (There should be a comma after 'bed'.)
"I've heard a great deal about you Frostpaw." (There should be a comma after 'you')
"Yes, thank you." Frostpaw said. (I think this sentence is missing something. First off, she's addressing her leader. Maybe she should dip her head respectively, or maybe you should describe her nervousness and excitement that he had praised her)
One more thing, although doing it is not incorrect at all.
Anyway, this was really great!
Awesome job! <3 I can't wait to see what happens in this fantastic fanfiction!
~BookWolf
Thanks for the help!
I am trying to find a way to "describe" Frostpaw, I love it, (and hate it... 
) if I ever get attached to a cat in one of Erin Hunter's books. Once, I cried, because one I was attached to died, and I've NEVER cried while reading a book before. 
Thanks for the review! 
No problem!
I'm sure Frostpaw will develop more as the story goes on. 
I didn't cry when someone I loved died in Warrior Cats, or when the series ended.... (shivers).... But I felt terrible, and I think I would have cried if people hadn't been around at the time. 
Yeah, there's only one other book that I've cried over, and that was Mistborn.
Hi!
I used to love warriors, but i've gotten a bit out of touch with it over the years. I was super into it a long time ago...
Your writing is very similar Erin Hunter's, and it was in the style of her/them. Good job with that.
I would say that the the names are a little odd, especially the endings. I know that by the end of the last series (or at least the last one I was on, with the whole spirit-battle thing), the names got more interesting, but in the first book and for a long time after, the names were very basic. The endings were like...heart, 'fur','tale','claw', 'tail', and (if you're really special) 'face'. What cat would be named Hazellegs? it doesn't make sense and it sounds silly. Or Stonemouth. How in Starclan (ah, Warriors references) did Stonemouth get his name? because he has sharp teeth? because he ate pebbles when he was a kit? WHY?! And Rose...Claw? It's controversial. It's like the this soft mothery rose, and then...CLAW. Rawr.
Why is Sunstar leader of Sunclan? it's not like his parents KNEW he was going to be the leader of the clan, so named him that. THAT is a bit ridiculous.
Cats do NOT smile, no matter what your nearest cat-owner thinks. cats are curmudgeonly, and they don't use that much facial expression for emotional expression. Erin Hunter conveyed her characters emotions through the ears, tale, and the state of their fur (flat, prickled). More human-to-cat instances include when Frostpaw says she'll be going off to bed. That is a very human term. Maybe replace 'bed' with 'sleep'?
Frostpaw could not have seen the color of Dawnpaw's fur in the darkness of the apprentice's den. Whatever she can't see, we can't see. That's the rule with the tense you have chosen for this story.
furthermore, Frostpaw doesn't seem to have a personality. I'm sure she will in time, and for you, she's a vehicle to tell a story, but remember that she should have as much character as the ones you describe through her eyes and through the other cats' words/meows.
i love this series. keep it up. I miss reading it.
Thanks for the review!
Oh, and the whole Sunstar name thing will be explained later in the book. Thanks for the help!