I kicked the lifeless stone across the foot trodden path. I had been only six when It happened. The memories, so painful to remember; the smoke, the sirens, the screams, the smoke, the screams. I couldn't get them out of my head. I wanted to cry, to shed these painful memories. But I knew I couldn't. It was impossible, and I was well out of tears now.
They said I passed out after I crawled out of the burning house, they thought they knew, those dirty liars, who said everything is going to be okay, everyone is fine. They thought they were considerate, they thought they were so smart. That's exactly it. They thought.
But I knew what happened; I saw the scrap of a blue shirt, and the red Nike shoe. I knew, oh I knew! This was no accident. Someone purposely killed my family, someone intentionally did this.
I shuddered against the bitter cold as I neared Mrs. McCreaker's house, she was my counselor, and a kind one at that, but sometimes she just didn't understand me. I walked up the steps to her house and knocked. "It's opened!" Mrs. McCreaker croaked. No it's not! I wanted to say, but I didn't let my sarcasm get the better of me. I opened the door and walked in. Mrs. McCreaker (or Mrs. M. as I called her) was outside in the garden. I meandered outside and we started the usual routine.
"How have you been?" Mrs. M. started.
"Same as always." I sighed. "Same as always" was not good at all. Same as always meant misery, dull grey clouds, and never-ending counseling sessions with a woman who could've been my great grandmother.
"I'm sorry to hear that. Would you hand me that packet of pansy seeds over there?" She asked. I slowly reached over to hand her the packet of seeds. Mrs. M. had dug a hole about three inches deep. She started to reach in the packet but stopped. "Rose, things sometimes don't go our way. But we can't just stop everything and cry. You see this flower here?" She gestured to the small plant in the midst of all the tall flowers. "All of these flowers were planted at the same time, but this one didn't grow until around a week after all of its brothers and sisters. What if it stopped everything and wilted? Where would it be then? But it didn't stop growing, it didn't stop trying. It blossomed, and it grew! Someday, it will be as tall as all the others, and it will grow back stronger! Do you see what I'm saying Rose?" She finished.
Honestly, this was probably the worst comparison for me right now. But I got the point. "Yeah, I get it." I answered. She stared at me for a few seconds then quickly turned away.
"I-I have to go fetch some water." Mrs. M. walked into the house.
I fingered the small flower absently. It was a tulip, my mom's favorite flower. Once upon a time, my dad gave her a small flower similar to this one. Half of the petals had already fallen off. but it was his gift to her. I smiled faintly, but then scowled harshly. Once upon a time was long gone now. Mrs. M. came back with a pitcher of water, teary-eyed, and a crushed look on her face. She reached again with a trembling hand for the packet, but stopped short.
"This counseling session is over, you can leave now Rose." Mrs. M. said.
"But we have hardly started anything yet!" I objected. She waved me off as she turned to leave.
"Come again tomorrow, at the same time as always." Her voice wavered. She rushed through the back door in the house to her bedroom, oblivious to the small picture that fell out of her back pocket. I got up to see what it was; it was a picture of her and a small baby with twinkling blue eyes. I will give it to her tomorrow, I thought. She must be really tired. I slid the picture into my own pocket and walked out of the house onto the trail leading back to town.
______________________________________________________________________________
Mrs. M. slammed the bedroom door shut. She flung herself on the bed, and sobbed. "How could I be so stupid? Tell me how!" She yelled knowing no one would here her desperate cries. "I need to find a way to tell her, she has to know, she has to know......."
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125,013 Literary Works • 672,844 Reviews
This was good! I don't know how much I'll be able to say, but I can't wait to find out what happens. You have a few grammar issues, but nothing majorly distracting.
I have a few predictions about the plot...
Hi there! I noticed the third chapter of this was in the Green Room, so I thought I'd start reading this from the start. By the time that I get up to it, that chapter will probably be out of the Green Room, considering how long it takes me to review. Anyway, the point is that I'm here to review. So I'll stop waffling and get started.
Grammar-wise, this was okay. There were a couple of things that I'll point out, but on the whole I'd say that grammar was not a major issue. The quibbles I had were:
'Foot trodden path' sounds a bit iffy... I get what you're trying to say, but since it's your first line, it needs to be stronger. Maybe try 'well-trodden path' instead. I also think you could find a better adjective than lifeless... it causes a bit of redundancy since stones are pretty much always lifeless.
You have something of a run on sentence here, caused by too many commas. I think adding a full stop after 'burning house' would fix this. Makes the rhythm a bit more solid.
This is more a formatting thing, but try not to use the same type of quotation marks for dialogue and other stuff (I couldn't come up with a better word to explain this). So basically, keep the double quotation marks for dialogue, then use single for the second 'same as always', or use italics, ie this sentence becomes "Same as always." I sighed. 'Same as always' was not good at all.
Dialogue punctuation! You've got a couple of errors in this department, but I'll use this one as a n example, then leave it to you to fix the rest. These tutorials explain it better than I can. But long story short, 'she' should not be capialised because it's a speaker's tag.
Mrs M's entrance in this bit and where she tells your protagonist to leave seems quite rushed, like it came from nowhere, without warning. At the very least, I'd consider splitting this into two paragraphs after 'long gone now', just so that how Mrs M is behaving isn't lost in the middle of the paragraph.
You're off to a good start here. There's room for improvements, but this is a good start. I don't have to much to say story-wise as of yet, except that the ending feels a bit choppy. I'll probably talk more plot in a later chapter.
Hope you have a great day, and happy writing!
Thanks for the review!
Oh, and I like your username, very creative! 
Okay. So I have looked over the reviews and corrected this. Then I decided this may have been a little short, and not provided enough information, so I am going to add a second part to it.
Thanks for all of the help guys! 
)
-SnazzyPencil
(let me know if you see anything I may have missed.
Wow! Great description. Well, I was GOING to review this, but apparently KatGirl found all the mistakes I wanted to point out.
Oh well.
Anyway, this is a really great piece and I hope you continue it. A really great cliffhanger at the end, but it seemed a little rushed. It was also a little bit choppy, but nothing major!
Bye for now!
~BookWolf
Thanks for the help BookWolf!
-SnazzyPencil
Hello! A few more things for you besides what KatGirl wrote:
When using dialogue, a new speaker should mean a new paragraph. Your fifth paragraph has both Mrs. M. and the narrator speaking in it.
The last paragraph abruptly changes to third person and goes to Mrs. M.'s perspective, as opposed to the first person of the rest of the chapter. There should probably be some kind of break here to indicate you've switched perspectives. There's nothing wrong with alternating between first and third if you have one particular main character, but the transition should be clearer.
I found only a few other things, like having a space between a set of quotation marks and the quote where there shouldn't be one somewhere in the sixth paragraph. The overall details in this passage could be improved. It kind of feels like I'm missing something, but I hope later chapters will help reveal that. Keep up the good work!
I am sort of new at writing, I didn't know that about dialogue! Also, I didn't really know what to put between the first-person, and the third person, I kind of just guessed there..... You are right. You are missing something, something dark, deep, and secretive........ *evil laugh* It will be revealed slowly as the story develops. Anyway, thanks for the help!
They said I passed out after I crawled out of the burning house, they thought they knew, those dirty little liars, who said everything is going to be okay, everyone is fine.
I was just checking; do you mean everything is fine? Also, I don't think "little" is needed there, it could be, but it doesn't make the sentence any better.
I shuddered against the cold as I neared Mrs. McCreaker's house,
Just to add more detail you could add in "bitter cold" or "chilly", "wisps of artic wind", etc.
"Come again tomorrow, same time."
Just to improve it a little bit, you could put in: "Come again tomorrow, at the same time as always." You don't have to do this, it's just a suggestion, it seems fine as it is now though.
I gout up to see what it was. A picture of her and a small baby with twinkling blue eyes.
I think you meant "got", it's fine, I do it too.. lol. Also, it's kind of weird to have it in two separate sentences, it seems awkward.
Correction: I stood/got up to see what the object was; it was a picture of her and a small baby with [azure] twinkling eyes.
Mrs. M. threw herself on the bed, and sobbed.
Personally, instead of "threw" I would've put flung, and I think the comma is not needed.
She yelled knowing no one would here her desperate cries.
Put a comma after "she yelled" and instead of here, I'm also assuming you meant "hear"
I need to find a way to tell her, she has to know, she has to know.......
Revise? This sounds awkward, and perhaps you could put "she has to know" in italics?
She must be really tired. I slid the picture into my own pocket and walked out of the house onto the trail leading back to civilization
Instead of walked you could put "trudged sullenly" to make it more descriptive, I also noticed you didn't put a period after civilization (and using the world "civilization" sounds awkward..)
"I, I have to go fetch some water." Mrs. M. walked into the house.
I think it's I-I (but personally, I don't exactly know.)
Once upon a time[,]my dad gave her a small flower similar to this one
To be honest, this seems a little rushed. It has quite a few grammar mistakes, but it does have potential! Don't give up!
In the second paragraph, I meant that everything was not going to be okay, because the "Liars" had said that. Sorry if that wasn't clear enough....maybe it just sounded better in head. XD I do admit that I need to work on my grammar in my stories. Now that I reread this again, I can see why you thought it was rushed. It's sort of hard to write slowly for me when I can see the ending. Thank you for all the help!
Lol I'd say the same when I have the idea all planned out in my head, I basically write as quick as possible, reread it, (and don't even catch most of the mistakes) until somebody comments on it.. lol