You know it's going to be a decent day when you wake up to the smell of bacon. Johnny was still asleep, so I carefully stepped around him to the ladder and climbed down. Following my nose to the smell, I felt my the bandage on my arm. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt at all... Whatever Ben had put on my arm must have been extremely powerful.
In the kitchen, Ben was standing over a griddle, spatula and all. Hearing me, he turned around. "Breakfast in about ten." I simply nodded, looking over at the clock. It was nearly seven.
"You let us sleep in?" Ben was already turned and cooking again.
"Yes," he said simply. He turned the griddle off, stepping back. Leaning against the counter he looked at me. "You know, you don't have to be so rude." Apparently my prediction about the bacon was wrong.
"What are you talking about?" Really, I knew exactly what he was talking about.
"We're all just trying to help. We're good. You can trust Martin - if he is who he says he is, then he's one of your main supporters."
"Well that's real reassuring." Ben looked disgusted to even be talking about this, but he continued on anwyway.
"Listen - all I know is who I can trust, and I know you can trust me, at least." I eyed the boy. He seemed genuine. Letting out a huge sigh, he leaned down, his voice soft and quick. "I'll tell you more later, I promise Magdeline. I've been in your shoes more than once, and I know what you're feeling. Whenever I get the chance, I'll tell you all I know. You just have to promise you'll trust me till then, okay?" Ben's brown eyes were guarded, and I really didn't know what to think of his sudden outburst.
Luckily, I didn't have to say anything. Martin walked in with a yawn. "What's cookin'?" Ben pulled back, making no hesitation.
"Bacon."
"Just bacon?" Martin looked at Ben in disbelief. "You trying to starve us, boy?" Ben turned back to his bacon, and laid the pieces out onto a plate.
"No, just rations, sir."
"Why would we even need rations?" Martin's question was only met with the grim look of Ben as he carried the bacon past us to the table. Martin took a seat, muttering something about "stupid," and "boy" under his breath. Ben didn't say anything - although I'm guessing he got the hint.
Wanting to think about what Ben had said, I went to check on Johnny. He was still sleeping soundly, so I sat down on the bottom bunk, reaching for my bag. Ben had set it here last night, and by the looks of it, everything was still there.
So he's not a thief, I thought to myself. He did say I could trust him - and that he would explain everything "when he got a chance". Which could mean never. He could chose to "never get the chance". I can't trust him - but at least I know he won't stab me in the back for the moment being. Literally. I would keep an eye on him, but it shouldn't be too bad.
Johnny stepped down the ladder, and I stood up. "Sleep well?" He rubbed his eyes and yawned.
"Where's mommy?" His words struck a chord in my heart - he must've not remembered she wasn't here...
"She's not here," I stroked his hair as he sat down next to me, leaning his head on my shoulder.
"Oh. Martin said she would come meet up with us later in a bit, and we're going to go on vacation." So Martin had lied to Johnny. Another reason why not to trust him.
"But it might be a little bit," I reminded him, giving him a quick squeeze. "It might be a long time..."
"That's alright." Johnny hopped up from the bed. "We'll be waiting for her."
I didn't want to do this. I couldn't lie to Johnny. Standing, I led him to the kitchen. "We're having bacon," I told him, pulling a chair up for him to sit.
I snuck a look at Martin when I sat down. He was already finishing off his share of bacon, and was wiping off his mouth with a napkin. Ben had left while I was checking on Johnny. I forked a few pieces of bacon onto mine and Johnny's plates, and dug in.
The bacon was a little limp for my taste, good nonetheless. I looked at Martin after I was done. "Where is he?"
Martin put the plate in the sink. "He went back to get some supplies. And transportation."
"Where are we going?" I already knew the answer though.
"I can't tell you yet, Maggie. Alright? We're just going far away from here." A minute later, Ben appeared with four bags, along with four other hoverboards. Johnny immediatley sprang out of the chair to Ben.
"Do I get to ride that?" Before Ben could answer, I stormed over.
"He can't ride one of those. He's only 6," I informed him.
"That's fine, I'll just go get my two-boarder," he disappeared momentarily, and came back carrying a large hoverboard with a seat connected. "It takes a lot of force to steer it since there's so much weight, but we won't have to make a lot of turns."
"When are we leaving?" Johnny was nearly doubling over with excitment.
"In aproximately five minutes, we need to be on the road." He handed me two backpacks and threw one at Martin. "Everyone put these on - They have supplies for about one or two full days for one person.
"How long will it take?" Maybe Ben could answer my question indirectly.
"About one day if you don't stop. Around one and a half if you rest." Ben swung his backpack over one shoulder, and handed out the hoverboards. He spoke softly into Martin's ear before turning around again.
"Alright. This trip will be a hard one, but I have been trained to make it safe for all of us. You will see many intriguing animals on the way - do not touch them. The terrain is mostly smoothe, and as you might of already seen, very grassy. There are about two water sources on our way there. We will stop once at night, and get up at dawn. Two or three breaks will be added in to eat, or find water. I will lead, you," he pointed at Martin, "will bring up the rear." He nodded quickly before heading back to the front door.
End of chapter
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I'm starting not to like Martin.....
"Immediately", "approximately", and "smooth" are misspelled. Also, you switch "of" for "have" again. Sorry if I'm being harsh about the grammar--I can be a little pedantic, but I only aim to help!
Not much else to say. A good chapter with the same problems as its predecessors.
YES! We're going somewhere.
Honestly, it was getting kind of boring down there, but now we're on the road. And with HOVERBOARDS! This is going to be fun. xD


I really liked the opening scene and the little conversation with Ben. I think you made it feel very real, especially when afterwards you had Maggie thinking over whether she could trust Ben and Martin. It's becoming more and more obvious with each chapter that this girl has good instincts and knows when to trust them.
I'm going to have to agree with Skins when they said that it's kind of frustrating that Maggie is like the only one that has no idea what's going on. Like they said, some really subtle hints would be great. But you said there's a big-ish reveal coming up, so that might fix a lot of the frustration.
Well, I guess I'm back to small reviews again. xD Anyway, as always, great chapter, Snazzy. Can't wait to read the next one.
Never have I read words so true.
YAY HOVERBOARDS. This follows up the last extract well, and my praises in my last review are pretty much the same here. I love that you're bringing the futuristic element back into this story, and it'll be nice for Maggie to actually get some fresh air again, after the tunnel, bunker, house e.t.c. I would like Maggie to question what the deal is with her mum, as I said in my last review, but beggars can't be choosers and all that. To further sound like a broken record, I really do like Ben's character, and I think his and Maggie's relationship could turn pretty interesting.
I have to be honest with you; this whole Maggie, and us for that matter, literally knowing nothing about anything whatsoever is beginning to get a weeny bit annoying. It's not so much the fact that we know nothing, but that there's no explanation to as of why we know know nothing. Why can't Maggie know? Why is it such a big deal that it's kept a secret from her? I mean, she's stuck under Ben and Martin's supervision, so what would she even do with the information if she had it? Who does she have to tell? Where does she have to go with it? I realise that this could make more sense when all is revealed, but at the moment, it's difficult to understand why Maggie can't know anything.
Now I realise that maybe a big part of this story is that she doesn't know, and it's important that she doesn't know. Bearing that in mind, something I'd maybe suggest is for there to be subtle hints here and there that will point Maggie (or more appropriately, us) in the right direction. Maybe she reads something on Martin's phone, or finds a strange piece of equipment, or a newspaper headline, whatever! Not stuff that tells us exactly what's going on, why it's going on, and what it all means, but stuff that makes us wonder and question things. It's just that, at the moment, with the constant I can't tell yous, it becomes a little frustrating because we want something, anything!
The only other criticism I have is something I should've mentioned in previous chapters, really, but the critique itself is the reason I couldn't have mentioned it. Err, let me explain. Basically, I 100% completely forgot that the genre of this was Sci-Fi, and that it was set in the future. I only remembered because of the hoverboards. Up to now, we've not seen any indications of the genre besides the runaway experiment at the beginning, and some talk of it all in the first chapter, not really. I think you need to throw some more in here, and spread them out over the past few chapters. For example, the torch Maggie had in the tunnel. Torches are so 2000's. Make it so Maggie's watch can project a powerful beam of light or something (and then that element of the watch breaks, which causes her to lose light as opposed to her torch dying). That's hardly a great example, but do you get what I'm saying?
Negatives aside, this story is really starting to tun super intriguing. I want to know what the heck is going on, and I'm fascinated to find out how Maggie is connected to everything that's happening (whatever that is!) Be sure to tag me in the next chapter as you always do, and please don't be afraid to question me or argue against anything I've said in these past two reviews
Keep writing,
xoxo Skins
I totally understand why it's annoying that Maggie is kind of completely in the dark with everything.

There's actually a big-ish reveal in the next chapter, but then again, that might be a little too late in the novel to start adding things. I might be able to add a few little hints, like you suggested.
Thanks for the review!
I'm also offensively impatient, so 80% of it is probably just me
But yus, just some really subtle hints that get your readers questioning things, coming up with their own theories e.t.c. could make things super interesting. Even if we all end up guessing wrong, we love being challenged!
Okay, thanks!