If I were to tell you
What nobody knows
You would see the frost that nips at this rose
Nobody knows
If I were to show you
What's inside the closet
You would understand the reason I lock it
I was afraid of the light
That's the reason I hide
Please excuse my pride
Still I
Abide
I want a gentleman
Not a lover, a friend
Someone to prove that their kind didn't end
They're hard to find
Maybe I'll listen to their friendly advice
I don't often listen, and I pay that price
All the time...
I, I am arrogant and shy
That is why I deny
Please, ignore my pride
As I
Abide
I don't think I'll tell you
What nobody knows
You won't see the root,
Though you see the vine grow
I don't think I'll show you
What's inside the closet
You 'probly won't see
Inside my locket
I keep this secret
Though there's barely a reason to keep it
Show me the light if I'm not too blind to see
Otherwise love and tolerate me
One day I'll tell you
What nobody knows....
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139,300 Literary Works • 672,526 Reviews
Hello!
Im Serenya!
I really like this very much. I like all the emotional stuff like this. A lot of people go through the same feeling most likely more then once. Commonly those people listen to music to be a way of expressing those feelings. I think these are just the right words to help others process what one is feeling. Good job
These lyrics made me feel like i was in wonderful and harmonous paradise.
It gives me a great feel about the tranquil and flow of the lyrics.
I am looking for to reading more of your lyrics or other pieces of work you have written recently.
I would love to sing this song to others, for them to recognize your song-writing skills and acknowledge as a wonderful song-writer.
Keep up the good work.
Please continue writing.
Whoa, this is nice. i like how you constructed the lyrics and how the lines go together smoothly,..
You have constructed what others are feeling -- concealing what's inside them, their feelings and opinions... putting a gap from everyone. Wants to be accepted but doesn't know how to reach out and somehow waiting for someone to break the wall or waiting for the chance to overcome the gap that they made,..
Anyways, i like your song,..
Keep going and have faith,..
=)
Hi there Annie!!! Now why would you say that nobody can make sense of this? I think it is Purely wonderful. I like that you have a questionable structure it makes it sound pure..... I'm not sure if that makes sense to you though. Basically it seems like you have abandoned the typical song structure and did what you feel. A lot of people think that this makes no sense but for some reason I think it's pretty cute "Structure, what structure?"
Ok so let's get into it!
So the first bit is good. It shows that you are hiding something and that it is affecting you, just as frost would nip at a rose. I like the use of imagery there, I can see a single rose just standing there being engulfed in frost that disappears when anybody looks at it. Music video maybe? I also like how you re-enforce your feelings by saying " Nobody knows" again.
I love the mystery in the second verse or stanza.... the questionable structure makes it hard to know which. It shows that you are hiding to show something and are not sure if it would be accepted and also not sure if you are prepared to take that risk.
I wish I could go into the rest of it but I don't think I need to. I really think this is a great song and I would love to hear it. I think that if you keep writing like this ....... then I would definitely read it! I am sure a lot of others will too. I think if you can write a compelling song with a questionable structure that makes sense and has irish flute then you have talent!! Keep it up! Skyexxx